Last of the Golden Summers
by PixieGirl17
Summary: Theo goes to visit her cousins Larxene and Namine unaware of the joys and horrors she's about to face in the coming weeks...OCxXion,SoraXRiku, YuffiXKairi,SaixXDemyx and many more!
1. Summer with the Cousins

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter One: Summer with the Cousins

For **Angel-Chan**

"_Do you remember anything?"_

_The skinny girl's violet eyes continued staring down at the floor. She thought it would be best to not look at him. If she avoided eye contact with him for long enough they would give up for the day. It you even glanced at them for a moment it was enough for them to look into your soul. They could read people within the blinking of an eye and then they would try and find a way to twist the reason for why she was here. They eventually gave up on people and just acted as a holding pen for the lost hopes. They still stopped them from killing themselves but...When she did think about it everything was white at first. It was like she wanted to have a new, fresh start. A clean slate from what had happened over the past few weeks. She wished she could wake up and pretend that none of this had ever happened and that she was still back at the house and that Xion was still alive and that all of this was just a nightmare. But she was never going to be able to wake up was she? The walls, her clothes, his clothes, the lights, the bed clothes, the floor tiles. Everything was white, a blank state. The words echoed in the halls of her mind. Bouncing off its walls uselessly, letting them faded away with each passing moment. Words meant nothing to her. Even if they were constructed into a logical and reasonable sentence or inquiry, they made now sense to her. Therefore were pointless. Did she remember anything?_

_She had never thought about it that much. She tried to drive away those sunlit memories far away for the past few weeks. They would always remind her of what followed and then what brought her here. It was better if she didn't think about it for understandable reasons. It made her think of __**her**_. _Just thinking about Xion brought back all the bad things as well as the good. It made her want to gag and cry all at the same time. The bad mostly consisted of their last seconds together. She could still remember the smell of her blood polluting the air. She could still sense the lingering smell of gunfire long after her murder had disappeared into the darkness. She does remember. She thinks she did. There are still some parts of it which felt broken. Misplaced. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to put them back together and she wasn't sure whether she really wanted to either. Who would want to go back and try to remember how they lost the person they loved? Perhaps her own mind was trying to protect her. But then again she would always remember wouldn't she? Then again she doesn't. Maybe she wants to forget. Just as long as she keeps them hidden away. So she did remember...No she did. You don't remember __**anything.**__ She said to herself. You don't want to remember anything..._

~ (***) ~

Theo struggled to even breathe on the way there. She pulled at her seatbelt as it felt like it was pressing down on her chest. She opened the window and even that didn't help much. Perhaps she was just nervous. Or the car was too hot. Or was it that Theo was nervous? She hadn't spoken to many people since she graduated to the point that her parents were fearing that she had become agoraphobic. She didn't know what to expect from this place and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know either. She didn't want to build her hopes up but at the same time she didn't want to completely dismiss it either. Her parents in the front seat were saying things to her which she continually said _yes, no _and _maybe _to. She wasn't feeling so talkative at the moment. She didn't feel so talkative for the past few months actually considering what had happened as a result of talking too much about her real feelings upon things. She didn't really want to answer the questions about the place. Thank goodness it wasn't a _don't-worry-you-homophobic-or-religious-fanatics-there-is-a-__cure-for-your-homosexual-teenage-children. _It was more of a place where they would punch the former in the face and tell them to get a life.

From what she had heard her cousins lived rather liberally. If that was the case this summer wasn't exactly going to be difficult for her to get through. It would be like everyday life as it was at home. She didn't mean to stereotype that much but having an artist mother and writer father really did result in a less conventional home life. Of course without the additional lovers or affairs which many those in the post-war era seemed to be littered with. Good for them as far as she was concerned. There weren't enough people living like that in the world anymore. It was more fashionable to live like those plastic dolls on MTV rather like the bohemians in Paris in the early twentieth century. Now that was a real living. How come people didn't want to live like that anymore? Free and without caring what the outside world of the safe, little one you created, thought about it. When Theo came out to her parents she was so worried, she wondered whether they would reject her, throw her out of the house and never speak to her again. Her parents just looked at her and hugged her and told her that they loved her. They didn't care. They just loved her for who not what she was. It took that one act of bravery to figure that one out. Just as long as she was happy with who she was that didn't matter. Then again her father was a writer and her mother was an artist, people in those professions were unlikely to have conventional views. Most of the time.

It wasn't the same at school though. Sometimes she actually wished that it was the other way round but then from all the forums (which was at her father's suggestion to join where she only read them but didn't sign up for a single one) she knew she had the better deal. She had seen from those who been in her situation and those who got the opposite of that had it harder for the first few years after coming out when their parents didn't accept them for who they were. She came out to her friends and they soon began to avoid her. One friend in fact turned round and said she didn't want a friend she had to worry about checking out her ass or anything. That was what hurt her the most. The fact that her friends not only couldn't accept her for who she was but were also afraid of her for totally irrational reasons. Rumours spread and she became a social reject. At least it was only for the last few weeks of high school. One girl, who was the school lesbian walked up to her and gave her a playful punch on her arm and said, 'Good for you man.' They didn't become friends though. They were just people who exchanged smiles and called 'hey' when passing in the corridor. Talked to if the other just happened to waiting for a class when passing by. That kind of thing. She could tell that these people were the 'gay' community which stayed under the radar or in the closet.

Thankfully it was almost the end of the year and the end of school so it was time for a new start. Everyone always told her that college was great for when she wanted to reinvent herself. To be the person she really wanted to be since no one had no time to criticise you or bully you. They had their own lives to worry about. The four months were a killer though. She still felt proud of herself though. At least she didn't carry on living a lie any more. It killed you, consumed you until you couldn't breathe. She wasn't going to go as far as wearing a gay pride badge or something. Just the fact that she was still walking through the halls was enough to speak volumes. Still, even being in that town was much for her. She wouldn't even go out to the mall out of fear of walking into someone from school. It wasn't exactly a big town. For a change of scenery and to lift her spirits her parents arranged for her to stay at a summer house of her cousins Namine and Larxene. When they heard what happened they insisted she came. It was that or Larxene would come down and beat up her tormentors. She was wondering how Larx was doing in particular for a few years she had been having some drug, sex and rock an roll lifestyle. Then got sorted out and became a professional boxer. Then started dating the guy who helped and trained her. Apparently he was a wee bit older than her now, but since she was 26 now it didn't seem to matter any more.

She closed her eyes and slept for the rest of the journey. She instantly calmed down, finally being able to conclude it was merely nerves which was causing her to feel hot. She felt herself shake uncontrollably for a while until she was able to calmly tell herself that everything was going to be okay. Namine even emphasised the fact that there were going to be plenty of gay men and lesbians coming to stay with them. She was hoping though that she hadn't simply scoured through her phone-book for all the gay people she knew for her benefit. There was nothing worse than having it being thrust in her face. Thank God for her parents. They just told her that it was okay and that they loved her no matter who she brought home for dinner. That was enough of a coming out party for her. The same moment she opened her eyes again her parents turning into the driveway. When they pulled into the driveway Theo had never seen anything so beautiful. An old Victorian house, with ivy growing up its walls and little flowers blooming and dotting around the place. It was like something out of an Ian McEwan or Fitzgerald novel. Theo peered over at the garden hiding behind the mansion going on for miles and miles by the looks of it. Then again her cousins were rich. Orphans and since they had now inherited the money they used it to their leisure. But then again who wouldn't?

She saw two figures waiting for them. She blinked, not being able to see them clearly since the sunlight was blinding her and stopping her from being able to tell who they were. Even though she could suspect them to be her cousins, when she saw them, she wouldn't have been able to tell it was them anyway since they looked so different to last time she saw them. One had her arms folded and was wearing a striped black and grey t-shirt, waistcoat on top and a denim skirt. She was older girl of the two and had bright blonde, long hair, green eyes and had a slim, hourglass figure. The other was the same age as Theo, had a vintage sequinned vest, a cream-coloured sweater and torn denim shorts. Theo felt embarrassed wearing her denim short and plain white t-shirt. From their attire, she knew she was going to feel all the more like the 'poor relative'. When she braved the first step out of the car Namine was there in a flash wrapping her arms around her.

"It's so good to see you!" She cried.

"H-Hi. Are you okay?" Theo asked laughing.

"I'm great. How are you?" Namine asked, releasing for her hold.

"Er, yeah I-m-"

"Don't lie, we heard what happened at school.' Larxene interjected. 'Do you want me to beat them up?"

Theo laughed scratching her head and waving a hand. "No, no. It's fine. Honestly!"

Theo didn't look fussed but in fact in her head she was beginning to panic. She knew how psychopathic Larxene could be in the ring, she saw her on TV once. She didn't want to have to witness it in real life. Larxene didn't look convinced but let it slide.

"Honey!" Theo turned round to her parents.

"We have to go now, remember Daddy has a book tour!"

That was another reason Theo was being dumped at her cousins, she wouldn't have minded going with her parents but they insisted she needed to spend time with kids her own age. Kids her own age that understood her.

She kissed them goodbye and they all waved as they drove away into the distance. "Oh, just so you know we're having some friends over this summer. I hope you don't mind."

Frankly, Theo did mind. She didn't want to be around too many people. Then again, Namine and Larxene didn't exactly make friends with assholes so Theo betted she'd be okay. If not, Larxene could always beat them up. She shrugged her shoulders consenting that she was going to be okay.

"Yay! 'Cause there's a girl we want you to meet!"

Theo froze as she was about to walk into the house. "You-you-you..."

"You idiot!" Larxene hissed. "She's not going to want to be set up soon after all that trauma she went through."

"I thought that would cheer her up!" Namine protested.

"You really don't think do you?"

Theo turned round trying to break it up, even if she might lose a limb. Namine's eyes began to tear up anyway. When she was about to say something a voice came out of nowhere.

"Hey, what's taking you guys so long?"

Theo turned round and then everything her life, at that moment began to change.


	2. Summer of New Acquaintances

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Two: Summer of New Acquaintances

For **gunxpowder**

_The door opened, a dark haired nurse passing silently through the doorway looked around hesitantly. There was a startled look in her eyes, almost as if she knew that she was walking into a death chamber or something along those lines. Aerith knew she shouldn't interrupt sessions, but when it came to Aqua, it was urgent. That girl was always so rowdy and the only person who could calm her down was Dr Anselm. She felt sorry for all of them in a way but when Aqua first arrived she knew that she was only here so that she could find some way to get her parents attention. She was just a rich oil barons spoilt brat. Now that she had gotten so engrossed in her role she had lost her mind completely. He had that calming effect on almost anyone. Even the most reluctant of patients. She eyed the girl in the chair as she gently closed the door and made her way over to Dr Anselm. Trying to be as quick and quiet as possible. That was the best way to deal with things around here. Not gently or sensitively but quickly. The blonde haired man was patiently sitting in front of a young girl, his chin cupped in one hand and elbow resting on the knee. He almost looked like he was watching a sculpture or a painting that he was admiring. Trying to get his head around since it was so enigmatic. So...Hard to read that it needed more than the obvious in order to understand it. _

_The patient was sitting still and wordlessly in her seat. She knew she was being watched. She could see in her eyes that she hated, not only for what he was doing, she went further than that, she hated for that. Her eyes never leaving the floor. If it weren't for her slow and slight movements. The blink of an eye. The sway of a lock of hair. The nurse would've thought she was a dead body slumped into a chair. She hurriedly went to Dr Anselm. She was watching the other girl the entire time. She still didn't look up. She felt the room had been icy cold for a long time, since the moment that this session started. There was an eerie silence in the air as if she had entered a room where there was a dead body being kept inside. She leaned down and whispered in his ear. Her voice tickling against his neck as if she was calling him back from the land of dead that he had been so obviously been dwelling in for the past few minutes. Aqua had had another episode. Better come quickly. Dr Anselm was always able to bring Aqua to her senses. It was a gift. All he had to do was just calming speak to him and somehow he could just make people...almost better again. He nodded and told her that he would be another few minutes. He just had to finish off this one appointment. _

_Maybe get Dr Braig to handle it while he was dealing with this. The nurse nodded and turned back to the girl, sadness filling her eyes. She wasn't sure whether he would be able to help her. She didn't know whether she want any help and Dr Braig was never good with that kind of thing. She was only good with someone if they were at least half willing to have some help. Just before she left the girl suddenly cast her eyes upwards in her direction sending a chill down Aerith's spine. She looked at her in the same way someone would wish to if they were trying to find something. Something that could be your darkest secret. The kind of one that you would wish to take to your grave. Aerith froze on the spot for a moment unsure what to do in this situation but then snapped out of it and carried on walking and passed through the doorway not looking back. What sort of thing brought a person to such disturbance and despair. She knew from the way that she looked at her that she hated her more than anything. What caused a person to not have any wish to live at all? What horrible pain had been inflicted on this poor girl?_

_Dr Anselm, on the other hand, knew all about this girls history. He knew the reason as to why she hated the world. She didn't want to punish it or anyone in it. It was because she felt like it should have treated her better. She wished that maybe the world would have treated Xion a little better. She deserved more than the fate that she had...He knew what had happened in the past few weeks. What he needed to get his head around was why it distressed her to the point to wanting to kill herself. That was the point of being here after all. He knew what happened at Twilight Manor. Then again he didn't know what really happened. Not from her perspective anyway. What he could read on a piece of paper could be miles different to her view upon the matter. He wasn't here to sympathise though, he was here to help her. Make her better. Make all those awful things that had happened to her go away. Fade away like a distant memory from your childhood. A memory that was there but whenever you thought of it, it had a fuzzy picture. The problem was though, with some of these people was that there was actually a reason to why they were here. They were sad because something genuinely terrible happened to them and in some ways he had to make sure that they were able to make peace with what had happened opposed to putting it behind them. _

"_Theodora." He began. "Are you going to say anything?"_

_Dr Anselm began to wonder if the girl had somehow gone deaf until her eyes slowly lifted up again. Like a flicker of a flame that was holding on for it's last moments. He noticed that she looked at Aerith directly into her eyes before she walked out. Speaking of which he needed to get going to Aqua. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long and he could just leave her here for a few minutes. It might do her a little good. Allow her to collect her thoughts. She might actually say something to him in this session. She needed to start talking eventually, otherwise it might only be a matter of time before she ended up like his past unsuccessful patients. She would begin to isolate herself more because she was past the point of being able to talk to someone, she would have missed her chance and then...Still, it was too early to worry about that. There was still a chance. It was something, but there was no hope to be found in this one small gesture. She was just telling him that a small part of her was still there..._

~ (***) ~

A ray of sunshine blinded her vision for a moment. Theo blinked and stepped back a little to see who it was that came through the doorway by shielding her eyes. She blinked again when she saw who it was and her mind when completely blank. For some reason she felt like the rest of the world and everything else around them had gone grey. She froze on the spot not being able to move an inch. Theo just couldn't stop staring. The girl, standing in the doorway was probably the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She knew she was gay and she knew she had fallen in love with other girls before but not as instantly as this. Never was her attraction to another person so swift. She was about Theo's height or if not a little shorter. She had black, pixie short hair, bright blue eyes that reminded Theo of the Mediterranean sea and the smoothest looking skin. She was wearing a midnight blue, frilly skirt, black hoodie and black converse. Not many people could pull this off perfectly like she did. Namine, who could spot attraction on sight, beamed knowing that her plan had worked. She was her own little version of Emma Woodhouse and to be honest if she could be any Jane Austen character she would prefer to be her. Larxene glared at her younger sister for interfering, she knew on some level this was the last thing Theo needed.

"Theo, this is our friend, Xion. Xion, this is our cousin, Theo."

The other girl walked toward Theo and stretched out her arm, a friendly smile on her face. Theo suddenly felt warm and shivered all over at the same time. She hesitated for a moment once her mind had processed the next step in the general stages of a greeting between two strangers (along with reminded her of the typical social graces which were expected amongst most people in polite society, even if she wasn't part of that sort of social sect). Theo remained rooted to the ground and stood frozen. Even though she realised that she was continuing to seem like a mental asylum escapee. She couldn't move, think or even breathe. She was so transfixed by the girl she couldn't feel that it was getting colder, hear the sounds of others from inside the house or catch a glance of the incoming whack around the head.

"Hey, idiot!" Larxene scolded. Theo rubbed the back of her head, leaning away from Larxene slightly, her eyes wide in fear and surprise. "Say hello, or has the social leprosy made your social graces deteriorate?"

Xion tilted her head. "Huh?"

Namine decided to step in and explain. "Theo, came out about her sexuality but her friends totally rejected her, people at school made fun of her and everything. So she has no friends and she's been **really **sad for weeks and weeks and-"

"Alright, Namine. She gets the picture." Larxene sighed.

Xion put her hands on her hip and scowled. "Jeez, what sort of school did you go to? An uber-Christian one?"

Theo shrugged her shoulders. "Not really. Just ones with a lot of assholes...and conformists."

"Well I don't like either of those." She declared holding out her hand, giving Theo another chance to redeem herself. Now that she was awake she was able to do so.

When she did all she could think of that she was right. Everything was fine, not that she was here she was sure everything was going to be okay now. Sure, she missed the security of school since they were all into labels and once you settled into a certain social group you were at least half-way there to security and more likely to survive the shark-infested waters of High School. You just had it made if you hung out the with 'popular' crowd. When she jumped into a place like this she had to reinvent herself again, because lets face it, who you are in greatly defined by the people who you hung out with. Or at least partially. But she knew though, unlike high school, there was less pressure to conform to a certain stereotype. She also felt safe with her. Her skin was soft. Her eyes sparkled in the sun. The nicest thing about her was her smile. It reassured you that everything was going to be alright. She would hold your hand through all the hard times ahead. She smiled at you like she was welcoming you home after a long, treacherous journey.

"Hi." Theo croaked. Xion laughed, bringing her free hand to her mouth, still holding Theo's hand gently in hers.

"Wow, you haven't had that much practice with the living lately." She smiled. "I mean you're kind of talking a little bit like a...zombie."

Theo laughed at the joke but was mentally kicking herself in the backside for acting like such an idiot. She was right, she was staring her like she was an extra on Resident Evil or some major zombie franchise movie. She needed to start articulating herself a little more at the moment otherwise she would end up being labelled as the 'weird one'. She was sure that none of her cousins friends were going to be as reductive as the people at her school but she didn't want to blow it here either. First she stared at the girl which was rude and just plain weird. And now she could barely squeeze a word out of her mouth. Her signs of a social reject were beginning to show. Maybe Larxene maybe she should go to some class like elocution or something. Just to bring her up to speed or make her stop acting like an escapee from a mental asylum.

_Well done, Theo. Good job. Now give yourself a pat on the back for making such a show of yourself._

"Don't worry." She assured her. "You're going to have plenty of practice over the summer. You're hardly going to have a moment to yourself while you're here."

"No thanks to Namine." Larxene growled, staring daggers at her younger sister.

"Hey! Ever heard the phrase 'the more the merrier'?"

"Yeah, but I try to avoid following that phrase that at all costs." Larxene retorted.

Namine pouted. "It's not my fault you're so anti-social."

As they continued to banter, Theo leaned close to Xion, whispering in her ear. "Are they always like this?"

She didn't want to earn another hit from Larxene. Especially in the same day, getting hit twice by your professional boxer cousin was not the right way to start your summer vacation. Period. Xion glanced at them for a moment and then turned back to Theo with a mock-serious look in her eyes and nodded knowingly. Theo sniggered and covered her mouth so that her laughter was not all that audible to those who she was laughing at. She didn't want to tempt fate, or more tempt Larxene to hit her again. Family relationships didn't seem to be an obstacle for her in terms of who became her momentary punching bag. She then narrowed her eyes at Theo for a reason she couldn't quite pin down. A second later, a thought and the obvious reason for this just occurred to her making her blushed uncontrollably, thinking that she was quite close to her face. She could almost feel Xion's breath brushing against her skin.

_You. Are. Such. An. Idiot. Theo. Not all girls appreciate having other girls being so close to their face. Just look at your old friends._

"Wouldn't you know about this kind of thing?" Xion questioned. "As I recall, you are their cousin."

Theo thought about this. Strike...Five? She had lost count of how many times she had earned herself another point towards the Dumb as...Award for the end of the summer. She was pretty sure at the moment though that she was in the lead and she hadn't even met the rest of the other 'housemates' for the summer let alone had she heard about what had been going on in her house before she arrived to concur or contradict this. She should know about this sort of thing, but then again she never really saw her cousins that often. They had lived with their other family after their parents died, who refused to allow them to see their 'poorer' relatives. She was the Jane Eyre to the Reed family without being an orphan. Actually it was the other way round...So the number of times they had even meet up were scarce, it was only until 5 years ago when Larxene was able to regain contact with her paternal aunt. She had never had such a warm and affectionate greeting from a relative-stranger (Namine). Nor had she ever been so terrified by one (Larxene).

"I met them for the first time 5 years ago." Theo explained. "Larxene had her job and rehab stuff to go through. Namine was at a boarding school with strict holidays and guidelines for visitors. So it's been quite a rare opportunity to actually meet up with them. My parent's have quite busy lives too."

"Really, what do they do?" Xion asked.

Theo looked at her to see how much detail she should actually go into about her parents lives. For a strange reason this girl looked genuinely interested.

"Er...my Mom's an artist and my Dad is a writer." She answered.

"Really, what sort of stuff do they do?" She asked beaming.

"Well, my Mom's into actual painting. I like to think her style in like Van Gogh meets Monet. A mixed up but beautiful dream which still captures something in every day like. Just makes it more...interesting."

Xion was watching her with a small smile on her face. Theo felt more self-conscious than those last few weeks at high school when she was looking at her like that. She wasn't sure whether she was making fun of her in her head or whether there was perhaps another reason why she was smiling at her like that...Her eyes were attentive but looked like they were falling asleep. Almost in the same way that you did when there was someone you were gazing at across from the other side of the table. Or that was what Theo thought at first. It was actually that she felt calm and peaceful when she watched Theo talk. She looked like she knew what she was really talking about, that was passionate about it. That was passionate about life.

"What about your father? What does he write?"

"Well...he's kind of like Mom. He likes to capture the everyday life, but make it extraordinary without having anything James Bond-esque happen to the characters. I think he just wants to show that the most interesting things can be found in real life."

"They sound like surrealists."

"Yeah." Theo laughed. "I guess they are."


	3. Summer of Hope

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

A/N: R&R!

**Thank you AkuRoku-SoRiku-Love for alerting my story!**

Chapter Three: Summer of Hope

For **Emoltia**

_Theo was taken back to her room, or what she liked to think of as her 'cell'. That was what it more or less was. She was technically being held here against her will. She wouldn't be able to just walk up to the receptionist and ask to simply just check out because the next minute there would be two, muscled men escorting her back to her room and would probably give her an injection to 'calm her down'. This was a prison, but was on some strange level, also a sanctuary. It kept her away from the world outside which was always judging her even before all of this happened. She knew there was nothing wrong with her being gay. They all assured her that she wasn't being locked up there for that reason. She still couldn't help but feel like she was being kept here like they did decades ago when they were still claiming that it was a mental illness. It was the other thing that happened. That other unbalance which had now affected the peace in her mind. Everyone here was hiding from the outside world. Locked away to protect the world from the dangerous minds within. Or for the others, it was so it's inmates could be protected from the world. Away from all those bad things that happened out there when in here you could just go about your way and not have to think about the things you would do out there. The world was a dangerous, harsh place, after all..._

~ (***) ~

Riku and Sora were slumped on the expensive sofa, with it's scarlet velvet coverings it didn't take a genius to realise that it was worth a lot of money. Since they were in the poorer side of the social groups spectrum they had less regard for how much something cost since there was no problem with them doing this normally. Also it was because they were the sort of people who liked to slump on a couch all day long and still feel at the end of the day that they got something out of one of the days from their summer vacation, by doing absolutely nothing. Although, it was mostly Sora who felt this way about daily accomplishments. This just emphasised Sora's tendency for laziness. That was something which Riku noticed when they first met. He lazily put his feet up on the sofa, paying no mind to how much he would need to pay for any possible damages. Though no matter how much Larxene would threaten him he never would pay for the damages. Not if Riku could help it anyway. Plus, Sora didn't pay attention to things like that. Riku smirked from the corner of his mouth as he watched his boyfriend slumber in the seat. He brushed his fingers against the strands of his hair hovering over his closed eyes.

Riku sighed and leaned back against the arm of the sofa. He allowed Sora to rest his head against his stomach and felt his breath stroke his tummy. Even though the fabric, Riku still got a little tickle brushing against his skin which made him giggle a little. Sora lazily opened one eye for a moment but then went back to his fifth afternoon nap. Despite that most people would be complaining, Riku found it quite comfortable when Sora slept in his arms. He felt like he was looking after him, like a parent allowing their child to sleep in their arms...Then again that sounded kind of creepy. It was quite peaceful having lie there, so vulnerable and so still. He finally felt that all the tangled up emotions within his chest was beginning to untangle with every passing moment he was with Sora. Like a painting he was taking hours to figure out finally made sense to him, maybe not in the same way as the guy or girl standing next to him but with his own eyes, he saw what the painting meant to him.

The image of Sora sleeping so quietly and peacefully brought him back to that afternoon when they first met. Or more, when Riku first stumbled upon him. To say 'when they first met' implied that the first moment they laid eyes on each other they engaged in some conversation or at least both of them were conscious at the time. Guess who was the one that was asleep and guess who the one that literally stumbled upon the other. He always drew pictures when Sora was sleeping. He was most beautiful when he was sleeping. It was so he could recollect or replay that day over and over again. That bright, sunny afternoon that promised something more unexpected and wondrous than he could've conjured...

_A year earlier..._

_Riku walked out of the lecture feeling completely and utterly drained of all his brain and body energy. His strong, muscles swayed from side to side, almost trying to fling them out their sockets. Wakka, a guy from his class strode past him and clapped him on the back._

"_Hey pal, how you doing?"_

_Riku scoffed. "Hardly well. I think Professor Wick drained out every ounce of energy out of me. The next thing I'm planning to do if fall face down on my bed and sleep for ten hours."_

_Wakka shook his head in sympathy, not sure how to ready his classmate for the bad news to come. "You've got to present your assignment this today."_

"_Shit." Riku hissed._

_This day just couldn't get any worse. He put his face in his hands and groaned. He felt Wakka pat his back in sympathy._

"_It's alright. You'll get through it. Anyway, I need to go research for the art history essay."_

_Rikku ripped his hands away from his face and limply walked across the campus square. He was not in the mood for this. The whole week he had to put with assignment after assignment amongst all his classes and on top of that he had recently broken up with his boyfriend and in the worst way possible. He claimed he suddenly couldn't deal with the complications of a long-term relationship when he had been doing so for the past year. What he was trying to say, or in code anyway was that he had found someone else. What annoyed Riku more than anything about it was that he just couldn't come out and say it to him. The least he could do was be honest with him if he was going to end a three year relationship, which for people at their age was quite serious. For people in their thirties it was almost like an everyday thing. Whereas for those in their early twenties and, excuse him for stereotyping, but a gay couple was quite impressive. He found a shaded tree and swung his bag onto the ground and spun round, falling against the tree. He stared up at the gaps between the dancing leaves, glowing against the sun's rays. He sighed deeply, wondering why college had to be so damn hard. Then the nagging voice from the back of his head reminded him because it was college. It was part of the deal. He thought as he took the first step towards those huge doors was thinking these were going to be the best years of his life._

_Now that he was here, he wasn't so sure..._

_He kicked the tree with the back on his foot in annoyance. He heard something muffle and he looked down to see if it was some small animal or something. He peered round and saw that it was a boy with dark, sandy blonde spiky hair. Despite the fact that Riku had kicked him in the side he still carried on sleeping. Something that amazed Riku_

"_He must sleep like a log." Riku murmured._

_Riku knelt beside him, suddenly become fascinated by him. He looked too young to be in his year, or even in college for that matter. Then again he looked like the sort of person with a youthful face with old eyes, which was something he was yet to see...Though still he looked too young to be a second-year student, so Riku was sure that he was a new. He had almost feminine features, every line and curve followed the same female stereotype which had passed through the centuries of philosophy, poems and art. He was slender and so delicate looking that he looked like if you even hugged him he might break. Maybe he had one of those conditions where if you fell or cut yourself he wouldn't stop bleeding till he died...Riku shook the thought out of his head, knowing it was a little far-fetched. Riku was tempted to reach out and trace these lines gently so that he wouldn't wake him. He then began to wander what colour his eyes were. Were they green? No, it didn't seem right that he would have green eyes, nor brown. They had to be blue. Would they be a grey-blue? Light blue?It was neither of those. Bright blue. They had to be bright blue._

_At that moment the boy's began to flicker open. Riku glanced up to see that the sun's ray was shining brightly through the swaying leaves and then turned back to the boy. He was staring right at him and Riku was froze on the spot. Or more in the knelt down position which was leaning in right into his face. He was surprised he didn't scream in terror, he would if he woke up to someone being so up close. Although this boy was simply staring back at him as if this behaviour of his was nothing out of the ordinary at all. He blinked and tilted his head and he began to silently observe Riku himself. Common sense was telling him to back away in order to not weird the boy out (even though he wasn't weirded out but still...). However then and there, his body was letting his common sense down badly. He was just stuck there. He couldn't hear anything around him, he almost like like the campus had suddenly been abandoned or that all time had come to a stop. He tried to move his hands, fingers. Nothing. The boy's eyes slowly climbed up to meet his and blinked once again but this time he was almost signifying that someone should finally break silence and say something to make this less...awkward. For lack of a better word. Consciousness gradually beginning to flood in. He then caught Riku's figure and slowly took him in. All Riku could now think of was his eyes._

"_Looks like I was right."_

The present day...

Riku smiled warmly at the memory of that afternoon. It was the day where he thought the world was crashing down on him until he stumbled across something which put it all back together. Sora began to murmur in his dreams, Riku leaned closer to hear what he was saying.

"R...Ri...Rik...Riku."

"Yes, sweetie?"

Sora woke up with a start, looking around frantically. Riku threw himself back and laughed loudly, clutching himself and falling off the the sofa in the process. Sora looked behind him staring at his boyfriend in petrified shock and annoyance.

"I. Told. You. Not. To. Do. That."

"I'm...sorry...I couldn't...help...it." He replied weakly, unable to talk properly and suppress his laughter all at once.

Sora clutched the side of the sofa and glared down at Riku rolling about of the floor like an idiot. "You are an idiot." He muttered.

Then the sound of someone emerging through the door quietly caused him to stop, according to Sora, 'acting like an idiot' and look up to see who it was. A dark haired girl tiptoed into the room and gave him a little wave. Xion. Their bright-eyed little friend they knew from college. They were wondering where she had got to. Then again since they both knew about the plan to set her up with this cousin of Namine's and Larxene's and since she was arriving today...Well all you had to do was put one and two together and the answer was pretty simple. He smiled brightly and jumped in his seat and the arrival of his best friend, besides Riku, but he was the BOYFRIEND, Xion was free to take the best friend category, along with Kairi. Since both of them were lesbians it would be pretty strange and also against their biological urges to feel upset or unhappy with this little arrangement. Plus, if one of them was straight Xion couldn't see whether there would be a problem then. She was skipping up to him which only meant one thing. She had some news to tell him. Some exciting news, Sora was already jumping up and down on the spot. He always loved news, especially when it was coming from Xion. Riku, on the other hand watched the whole scene and shook his head. She looked down in confusion at the amused Riku but a moment later shrugged it off.

"Hey, you'll never guess what..."

"Oh...what?"

She fell back into the seat next to him with a bright smile on her face, wriggling in her seat in excitement.

"I met her."

Sora frowned. "Met who?"

"Larxene and Namine's cousin."

Riku broke off from all the laughter and looked up. "You mean the one Namine's trying to set you up with?"

"What? She's trying to set me up with her?"

A surprised look soon turned into a smile then a shy but happy look. Sora snuggled up to her and peered at her with a amusement.

"Me thinks you don't mind the setting up with the cousin..." He teased. Riku rolled his eyes and fells back on the floor, deciding to lie in the sunlight shining through the window.

Xion shrugged her shoulders. "Well, she is cute. Very cute. Oh you guys would love to talk to her. Her Dad's a writer and her Mom's a painter."

"Just because they're in the professions we wish to pursue doesn't mean we want to run to their doorstep." Riku retorted.

Xion narrowed her eyes at Riku, but had a sly smile on her face. "No, unless I told you that her Mom was Vera Nita-Jones."

Riku jumped up and stared up at Xion. His mouth hanging out like a dog waiting for a treat. "You mean **the **Vera Nita-Jones?" Xion nodded. Sora had a searching look on his face, his soon also widened in surprise.

"You mean, her Dad is Kai Jones? The one who is one of the youngest writers to win the Nobel Prize."

Xion had a triumphant smile plastered on her face. "Looks like you guys are their number one fans."

"Are you kidding?" Riku exclaimed getting to his feet. "I'm more of a fan, I'm a worshipper of Vera-Nita-Jones! And Sora had read all of Kai Jones novels, short stories, poems and essay's religiously! Xion you have got to introduce to this girl!" He begged, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her uncontrollably.

Xion looked up at him in annoyance now. "Of course including the fact that she is the cousin of your best friend and you are genuinely interesting in meeting **her **and not just her parents?"

Riku stepped back and scratched the back of his head nervously. "Of course." He replied weakly.

Xion leaned back in the seat, folding her arms and crossing her legs. "Good, because she's been having a terrible time at school since she came out."

"Really?"

"Yeah, all her friends shunned her out of homophobia and the rest of the school had a ball of a time taking the piss out of her for it. Even made up as many rumours that could fill a whole novel."

Xion looked away sadly. She knew how it felt to be shunned for your sexuality, though the source of that unacceptability came from somewhere where it hurt her even more. Somewhere where the people were supposed to love you from day one to the very last day. Something that they failed to carry out because of their damn beliefs. Even though it had been years since she last saw her family and she had accepted the fact that they believed in one thing and she saw things in another way it still hurt. They never tried to contact her. They didn't even try to reconcile with her and just accept her for who she was. That was the sting. She could accept them for who they were but they were just incapable of being able to accept her. She was more generous than they were and they were supposed to be the Christians. She clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms. She wouldn't cry here. She knew this wasn't the time and she had done her crying for all of that. There was no need for her to get upset about it anymore. Not now, that would be out of self-pity and she wasn't the one that needed support right now.

"That's awful." Sora murmured.

Riku nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's shit. No one should be treated that way, even by their friends. At least she knows who her true friends are."

"That's thing she was left with no friends. Now I'm not sure she's even considering going to school or face the world any more."

"Man, that's rough."

_Yeah, _Xion thought. _I know all to well what it's like having to face the world on your own. That girl's damn lucky. I hope she knows it..._

"Hence, why I'm going to make this the best summer she ever had!" Xion declared.

She paused for a moment and looked at both Sora and Riku who were both narrowing their eyes at her.

"You reaaaally like this girl don't you?' Sora stated. 'Don't worry, we'll help you get together with you."

Riku just rolled his eyes, knowing it was never a good thing for Sora to get involved in any budding romances other than his own...

~ (***) ~

Theo unpacked the little belongings she had brought along with her. She didn't bring that much since she had received death threats from her cousins over the past few weeks from her cousins in the lead up to this little vacation. Her cousins told her that she mustn't _'on pain of death' _bring her own clothing, for they had plenty to share with her and thought that expensive clothing may cheer her up. She had a feeling she was going to become their own private, life-size doll for the summer. Then again when she put it like that it sounded a little pervy. Even downgrading it to the main activity of this summer would be dress-up still sounded questionable by what it would actually mean. She had to admit though, it might actually cheer her up a little bit. A little bit. She was never much of a girly-girl, her parents never really pressured her into being 'like a girl' maybe that was something else that did it...No. There should be no talk of that making someone gay. That would be practically agreeing with what all the religious nutters out their were claiming. But it wasn't enough to fill that gap in her chest that was now missing. Why was it that she wasn't good enough for them? A tear fell down her cheek which she wiped away quickly in case someone came in and there was nothing more awkward than finding someone who had been crying and with it being someone you barely knew made it even worse.

Why did life have to be this way? She knew being a teenager wasn't a walk in the park but did it really have to be harder on gay teenagers opposed to heterosexual ones. It didn't seem fair to her. It almost felt like a civil rights violation which was going unnoticed despite being something that happened on a daily basis across the world let alone across the entire nation. Why did it have to be so difficult to live with being gay? She had made peace with _her _being gay but why was it so difficult for other people to accept it? Or better yet, why did people have to be so difficult about it? Why did it have to be so painful? Her father always told her that it was to learn from our mistakes. People would eventually look back and realise that all they were expressing was hate and fear and they had made it even worse by throwing all of that anxiety onto another person who didn't deserve it and in fact, needed the opposite of what they gave her. Did she make a mistake in being gay? Did her parents really think that deep down, but just didn't want to tell her? Ever since this all happened she never felt more sure of herself in her entire life but at the same time she had never felt more lost. A tear rolled down her cheek and when she was about to brush it away the door opened abruptly and found Xion standing in the doorway, clutching the door handle.

She took in the sight of Theo with a tear rolling down her cheek. She stepped forward slowly and enveloped her into a hug.

"It's okay." She whispered. She rubbed her back gently. "You don't need them."

"Was it a mistake-" She sniffed, more tears falling down her cheeks. "Was it a mistake-telling them? For being a gay?"

Xion released her and then held her by the shoulders. "No, of course it wasn't. You did the right thing telling them. You now know you loves and cares about you. And you are not sick, there is nothing wrong with being gay." She opened up her arms. "Look at me. I seem pretty normal don't I?"

Theo laughed and sobbed at the same time, wiping away her tears. She had never done that before but she had been told by other people who had that it was strangely quite fun. She wasn't so sure from her own momentary experience. The word she would use to describe it wouldn't be 'fun'. More...Strange. Cathartic. Cleansing. None of those things were close to being fun. Then again they could have just been sarcastic. Then she stopped and stared at the beautiful girl. There was a girl she liked before but was straight without a doubt and was smart enough to know that she could never revert her. So whenever she ran into the bathroom crying from watching their public displays of affection she had to make out that she was attracted to the boyfriend in order to fend off her friends.

_She's...?_

She blinked and stared at her for a few more moments. Xion put her hands on her hips and leaned forward. The girl looked like she was seeing a ghost or something. She was seriously freaked out about something...Was it something she said? Did she do something wrong? Was she being a bit too...Friendly? She knew the more accurate word was on the tip of her tongue but it was at the back of her mind at the moment since there was a more pressing matter at hand. Another thought crossed her mind that despite the chances of being with her was increased, it didn't mean that Xion would be interested in her. Not every lesbian was attracted to every other lesbian let alone every woman they passed in the street.

"You alright?"

Theo nodded. "Yeah, I just was surprised that you were- that you're-"

"What?" She demanded with a smirk on her face. "I don't give off the gay-vibe. That's unfortunate news."

"Well, you shouldn't stereotype." Theo pointed out. Xion nodded in agreement.

"A woman after my own heart." She replied quietly.

That moment something passed between them both. It was one of those moments which people always loved. When two people who knew at that moment that the liked each other as much as the other and just couldn't look in any other direction because they knew they didn't have to feel awkward anymore. As if they world around them had dissolved around them. It was only them, it was only them that mattered. It was like the moment when they first met. She smiled uncertainly since she wasn't sure whether she should trust it. Her tolerance for trust had been tested a little over the past few weeks. They wanted to reach out of one another. She really wanted to be she was too afraid to take the leap. Clutch onto one another and become one. Ravage one another in all ways possible. But these thoughts, they were sharing the same thoughts but were thoughts where sharing went unawares.

The moment was soon shattered when a silver haired boy and sandy haired boy burst into the room screaming out words simultaniously.

"I love your father's books!"

"You're mother's a great artist!"

They both frowned at each other and then stared back at Theo only to find a very annoyed Xion glaring at them. They both smiled sheepishly and backed out the room.

"We'll wait until your finished."

The sandy haired suggested backing out the door cautiously. The other closed the door gently and the sound of running down the stairs could be heard.

"I am really sorry about them. Their big fans-"

"Of my parents. Yeah I could tell."


	4. Summer of Uncertainty

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Four: Summer of Uncertainty

For **talkstoangels77**

_Whenever she looked out the window she felt like she was in a prison. In a cage. There were no bars on the windows but she knew she wouldn't be able to get out until her sentence was up and that was all up when she would get up the courage to try again or up to the doctors. That's how they make you feel. As if you're a criminal. An animal that needs to be controlled and protected from the outside world. Or maybe they need to be protected from the world. It's a horrible place after all. The world didn't exactly treat her very well in the time that she had spent in it so far. Some of them needed to be controlled and contained. From the stories she heard there was a good handful of psychos in here with her. She had heard that one of them wanted to kill herself because she wanted to stop the flying monkey's from pulling at her hair. But she always simply passed them by without a second glance. To be frank she didn't care for what they had done. Or what they were capable of doing and that was because she pitied them. They were the mad ones. The ones with an imbalance and were truly deluded. They had lost touch with reality and in return were unable to appreciate life for what it was. She was different to them. She was there because she was sad. She no longer wanted to appreciate life for what it was. She knew of it, she was still aware of it. But she didn't want it. Now that..._

_She turned away from that thought. She couldn't think of her. Thinking of her felt like plunging a thought knife into her heart. She didn't want to blow it. She thought that maybe if she behaved like if she was getting better they might let her go. She would find it easier to try to kill herself again when she wasn't being constantly watched. She felt like she was drowning for all eternity, where the pain would never end. As melodramatic as it sounded. Whenever she thought of her she started to cry. And cry. And cry. She would cry for so long that she would be unable to stop until she dug the knife in so deeply so that all the pain would stop. She didn't know whether she would be able to stop if she started crying. There was so much that she keeping from them but she knew that she couldn't let them get to her. They would try to make her forget that it all ever happened. There were good times as well as bad times that she had with Xion. It was the only way to end it all. Others constantly told her that there were other ways. With words, with embraces, with drawing, with music. But all those things were empty. Her heart, now that she was gone, was empty. She longed for it to stop. She prayed that all this pain would come to an end and in her despair she only saw one way in which to end that suffering..._

~ (***) ~

Xion led a nervous Theo downstairs to the guests, without thinking about it she took her hand and gave her a reassuring look. She held her hand tightly and was telling her that everything was going to be okay. She knew that it had been a while since she had talked or interacted with other people outside of the dinner time conversations with her parents at the table. Most people would be a little freaked out by someone they've just met randomly taking their hand. Xion had many people do less than that at parties and the next second she was practically running in the opposite direction. Thankfully, Theo looked more grateful for the gesture rather than frightened. For all she knew Theo was probably taking it in a different way, even if she was gay. Xion winced at herself when she realised that that rhymed. She always hated it when that happened. She was sure that even the budding writer next to her could see that was the worst of all clichés. There was a buzz of various voices downstairs which she could see made Theo even more nervous. She spotted her cousins but Xion gave her a look similar to that of an adult catching a child with their hand in the cookie jar. She shook her head and tutted.

"You're going to make new friends today, young novice." Theo looked down meekly. Xion tilted her head sympathetically. "You're amongst friends here. No one is here to hurt you like those ass holes from that high school of yours."

"It's not my high school anymore and if it was I certainly wouldn't have allowed them admission." Xion laughed and agreed with her.

They were laughing for quite a while at something which was something that wasn't exactly funny. She liked that she was able to do that again. She hadn't done it in a while. Not just laughing at nothing but laughing in general. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed. For moment they had both stopped laughing and they gazed at each other for a moment while their giddiness was beginning to fade into surprisingly reassuring uncertainty. Why had she been able to make her laugh so easily? Why was she having such an instant and strange effect on her? Now that was something which could be deemed as an acceptable thought in the realm of trying to sound poetic. Rhyming, even accidentally was just pushing it. Xion was pretty sure that even though this had no romantic notions involved that they were sharing a connection between them both. She was too sensible and sure of herself to do something like that. She tried to look to Theo to try and find an answer in her eyes to the question of whether she was aware or thinking about the same thing as well. Even though none of them knew they were sharing the same thought. They felt the only ones left in the universe. Like up in the room, not too long ago. They didn't know that there was someone in fact, watching them with a watchful eye and sly smirk.

"Xion, dearest." Xion's head snapped to the side and saw a tall, lean young man walking towards her.

The first thing Theo was drawn to was his flaming red, wild hair. His bright green eyes. He was so...strange but mesmerizing. He was one of those people who made you think that if you were in a desert which you had been walking through for days they would be the kind of people you would think were an mirage at first. If she was straight she would've fallen in love with him at that moment. Perhaps. She might have been attracted to the strange or unconventional if she was straight. She'd imagine. That was the beauty of it. She could only imagine. She went more for people that were a little quirky on the outside and rough around the edges. When she saw a plain-looking person, not in the sense that most people would think, she was completely turned off. She meant more in the sense of seeming a little bit too normal or conventional in looks. She preferred someone who looked a little bizarre or unearthly. Maybe she shouldn't have been so obsessed with Lord of the Rings...Anyway it didn't really matter whether she was attracted to him or not considering that she wasn't straight.

"Axel." Xion sighed. She didn't appreciate him interrupting her. "This is Theo."

"Ah, the cousin." He said peering down at Theo. He held out a hand graciously. "Pleased to meet you."

She took it and shook it as strongly as she could. She didn't want to come across as so done over by him. She hated to give off the wrong impression. That was a dangerous thing to do.

"Namine always talks about you." He said bowing down, throwing his head about in an overly-complimentary manner. This made her laugh heartily. So heartily she had to cover her mouth.

"I bet she did." She finally replied.

He smiled at her charmingly and kissed her on the hand. Theo couldn't help but blush and smile a little bit uncertainly. Although she mentally rolled her eyes knowing that he must be a ladies man. Or a laddies man. She was told that there were a few gay men that were going to be residing there for the summer and she was sure that there was the possibility that he might be one of them who she might have the pleasure of getting to know this summer. It was only because she had never had someone treat her so courteously. She glanced over at Xion hoping that she wouldn't start getting any ideas and becoming insanely jealous. Not that she would presume for her to get jealous...but she didn't want to annoy her just in case...Although as she could see that was far from the case when she saw the expression on her face. She was actually rolling her eyes but not in the manner which would suggest that she was expecting this behaviour to lead onto anything else. She looked around. This wasn't so bad after all. Maybe she really could muster enough strength to talk to people again. She wanted to impress Xion as well. She didn't want to seem timid and afraid. She wanted to be strong and confident. That was what people liked, right? She leaned forward to Xion's ear and whispered.

"I'm going to circulate a bit."

The sensation of Theo's wispy breaths dancing against her ear and neck made Xion's skin tingle a little. She shivered, however not visibly to the naked eye, except for that of Axel's who could tell whether there was chemistry between two people, even if they were of the same sex and were officially straight. He had the perfect radar for these kind of things who was almost as good as Emma Woodhouse. She began to have images of things which were just a bit to suggestive going through her mind after that. She blinked, trying to seem like she wasn't as bothered by this as she actually was. She was even thinking about her lips pressing against hers with her tongue in her mouth. She glanced over at Axel who was wriggling his eyebrows as if he was reading her thoughts. He might as well have been wagging his finger as her and saying 'Now, now there will be none of that. This girl looks a like a virgin so you're not allowed to...' And so on. She was surprised that he wasn't actually doing that. He was the sort of friend who wanted to embarrass them in front of the current object of their affections. A shiver went across her skin and her hair stand on its end. She tried to cover it up but turning to her with a surprised look.

"Are you?" Theo nodded. She placed her hand on her shoulder before she drifted away. She watched her until she disappeared. Yet she still watched her. Axel watched Xion knowing what this all meant.

"So, my darling." He began, making her jump. He chuckled. "You have found yourself at pretty little thing?"

Xion blinked. "What? Well-I-" She stuttered. This made Axel chuckle more.

"I am taking that as a yes." He warned. "You...You have fallen in love at first sight, no?" He questioned, cocking his head to the side.

She looked down timidly and nodded. "Alright, I admit it. She...I want to protect her. I see something more than her timid nature. Something exciting. She's brave and she's faced those fears without faltering. She's strong but she also needs to be protected as well. And I want to be the one to do that."

Axel took in a gulp of his wine and then threw his arm over to the direction Theo walked in. "Then go. Tell her."

Xion gave him a look which he knew all too well. He must have been used to 'the look' by now considering his past behaviour. It was the look people gave him when he said something which was insane and inappropriate. The thing was that Axel and the concept of inappropriateness were far away from one another. They were as far away from one another was the flight from Sydney to Los Angeles. They were not even aware of each others existence. If you mentioned one to other they would give you a blank look and say 'Who?'. Now the concept of insanity and Axel was so intimate they might as well have been Siamese twins. They knew each other so well they could go on a game show where they had to answer questions on one another and there was one in fifty chance in winning and they would still have a hundred per cent chance of winning because they knew each other that well. The suggestion that Axel was making now was highly appropriate with concerns to these issues which he had and what other people had with his ideals and mannerisms. The idea of practically jumping on someone who has been through a sensitive patch in their sexuality (and no that was not a euphemism) the day that they had met them was a bit insane and inappropriate. Not that Axel knew anything about that kind of thing.

"I just met her today." She protested, wide-eyed. "I'll scare her off."

"I'm not asking you to propose to her. Just ask her to go out to a cafe in the town nearby as friends. To make it full-proof you can invite some others along. Take easy steps. You don't..."

He stopped knowing that he shouldn't go to far. Xion went cold, knowing what would go after that word.

"You have gotten over haven't you? You still don't let her get to you any more. You shouldn't let one relationship get to you. You should be happy."

"I know." She replied quickly. "I know."


	5. Summer of Joy

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Five: Summer of Joy

For **Emmi Rayne**

_She was so afraid of dying. How ironic. She was here. Trapped in this prison because she so longed to die but she was too afraid to actually commit the act of killing herself. She longed for it but she was so terrified it she couldn't even face it. She wasn't sure what it was. Perhaps it was the idea of completely damning yourself to an eternity of pitch blackness. Maybe because she had that religious fear of being condemned to Hell. Even when she wasn't remotely religious. Maybe it was the guilt she would leave behind. Maybe because there was something she would regret leaving unfinished but she couldn't imagine what it was. Maybe she had to stay here until she found out what it was and then she could find away to cast away that guilt or decide whether it was worth more than Xion. She supposed this was the reason why her attempt failed. She lost heart in the plan. She never truly wanted to die and in doing so death was unable to accept her. Suicide victims could only be accepted if they truly wanted their life to end. They were making a big decision after all. She wanted to be reunited with her love, but then again she still wanted to experience those things she had yet to experience. She was still only eighteen, nineteen years old. She hadn't lived yet and she wanted to throw it away. There was a part of her, she wasn't sure which part of her which was telling her that there was something else she was forgetting about. Something important..._

_She hadn't made an attempt since. She hadn't that made that many to be honest to be considered a serious case. She just couldn't be bothered to. It wasn't worth the effort while she was here. They weren't messing around when it came to what she was allowed in her room. She was constantly being watched it was nearly impossible to even try here. There was a girl down the corridor who tried it every other night in such a consistent manner that it almost became a routine. Sleep tonight. Make tomorrow night your last if your successful. She almost got into the hang when she knew when she would be woken up by the orderlies running down to stop her. Even they were getting into the rhythm of her moods. She had thought of other ways to kill herself. Different, effective ways. By flight. Drowning. Pills, there was plenty here. If you could steal them without getting caught. She had thought about it but she wouldn't. She refused. So many others such as herself who were here for their suicide attempts achieved what they wanted after they arrived here. Some it took many more attempts for them to be gone from this world and what a pity it was to die in this world. To die in this place. Those still failed. Other failed and then gave up. Like how she gave up after the first attempt. She wanted to survive this place and then live. Or did she feel like she deserved this punishment?_

_The voices always came back to haunt her. That was her 'little problem' on the side. Everyone did around here. Whether it was anorexia or hallucinations. Everyone here had something else along with the notable suicidal tendencies. It was funny because in a regular mental institute their suicidal tendencies would be the thing on the side. Xion would find that funny too...They were her own cage in a sense. She and Xion. Never leaving her. Never letting her go. Never letting her forget what happened to Xion or what she had done to her parents by being here. She was never going to let Xion go. It was like how Heathcliff selfishly commanded her from having a restful afterlife. By killing herself or attempting to anyway, she was effectively choosing a girl she had only known for a few weeks over the people who had loved her before she was even born. They wanted to instil nothing but guilt until there was nothing left. To tell her that her unnatural feelings towards women were wrong. The voices of the school children still came back to haunt her. Calling her awful names. Damning her. Condemning her. Even when that was all behind her now that she was at her very worst they were able to crash that door down. It was all she knew now. The ghosts. All she now had in this world was ghosts._

~ (***) ~

It felt so natural to her now. Just talking to people. Words seemed to flow from her lips like the rhythm of a tune. Before she was the quiet one in her group. She was the one who hung back and let the others do the talking if they were talking to the jocks or if they were confronting something who had mistreated someone in the group. More often it was her who was the person who had been mistreated. It took a while for her to be able to find her own voice. She glided from person to person. This was how it once was when she was in school, but it was more pleasurable. She was now being herself. She could really be who she wanted to be without any fear. She would be unafraid to tell these people of her sexual orientation because they simply would accept it and move on. She didn't have to put on some persona with some fake opinions because she knew it would either lead to a response along the lines of being 'Really? Me too' or 'That's interesting' Blah, blah, blah. She didn't have to be afraid to prepare herself to disagree with another person because she knew as soon as she stepped into the room she wasn't going to be judged. But what she was most important was her sexuality and they had theirs, she had hers and that was how it was and how it should be. And there were plenty of other homosexuals as well as heterosexuals there. It almost made her laugh how openly affectionate they were in public.

For example there was one couple Demyx and Saix who always had their arms snaked around their waists. They seemed so natural with the way that they leaned against one another. They would, more than every now and then, glance around and find an opportunity in between conversations to stick their tongues down each others throats which always caused Theo to raise her eyebrow. She wasn't exactly used to seeing two men just randomly kissing one another considering the strictly conservative school she went to. But she could see now how it hardly bothered her. It was even normal for her. She was a little taken back by it at first but she soon got used to it. Why did it take her this long to figure that out? At first she was taken aback but by a few hours she had gotten used to it and it even amused her. At least they were being reasonably conservative or for a more better word...at least they weren't making a big show out of it. There was another couple, Marluxia, who had the most outrageously pink hair and Reno, who she discovered to be Axel's older brother were rather chivalrous towards each other. It was like she was watching a dramatic Greek comedy. Or considering how they were behaving, as if they were in a tragedy. Once he brought him close and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Oh, Reno." Marluxia would cry out and blush. "Not in public!"

He would take his chin and look into his eyes all-so-romantically. "But Marluxia, you are not ashamed are you?"

The other would look away timidly. "No, but I am so embarrassed."

"Do not be, my love." Blah, blah, blah. She wasn't the only one around them who was rolling her eyes.

She also noticed that she wasn't, or she and Xion weren't the only lesbians there either. It was a bit...creepy for her to refer to them both like that...as if they were a couple. It almost sounded a little stalker-ish. That was the last thing anyone wanted. A newbie to the gay scene chasing around the more experienced woman. Well, she shouldn't be surprised by that, there were lesbians out there but she was just the prize or one of the extremely few lesbians from her school. The species of lesbians in her school were practically extinct or rare whereas in the whole scope of the universe she knew she was going to be very surprised by the number of women who were lesbians. Same went for gay men at her school or if not there were probably less in her school or less than she thought since they were so many jocks and other 'masculine' boys in her school who were likely to take the piss out of them for it. There were two couples, Paine and Yuna, who were actually quite normal compared to the other two and weren't too in your face. There was also Yuffie and Kairi who acted like high school sweethearts. Bouncing around and having fun but would be really coy sometimes as well. Theo would tilt her head or giggle at their antics. Paine and Yuna were the older, mature example of a lesbian couple whereas Yuffie and Kairi were the cute, soft and cuddly example for the lesbian teens out there.

She scanned the crowds. Namine and Larxene were no where to be seen. She smirked to herself, so they were just going to leave her to the sharks. Or the wolves. She didn't know which would be the best predator to compare them to. Then again nothing bad had happened to her so far. In fact, far from it. She was having the time of her life. It was probably better than Namine wasn't there to introduce her as the '_gay-cousin-who-had-been-through-a-bad-time-coming-out'._ Not knowing but at the same time was completely aware of who and what she was looking for. There were others that circled around her laughing. Chatting. She gave a sigh of relief finally feeling safe and accepted somewhere. She felt safe and secure. She felt like she was being hugged by all of them. None of them had given her dirty looks or judged her on sight. They knew who she was, she was sure of that. She wouldn't be surprised if Namine posted an announcement to them all about her sexuality and high school history. She made a mental note for Larxene to ask her to take it down a notch. She just hoped it wouldn't induce them to give her too much sympathy or pats on the backs. All doubts and dark thoughts had vanished and she finally felt at ease. Especially when she saw Xion walk towards her. A smile on her face and her arms, ever so slightly held out. Almost like she was about to embrace her.


	6. Summer Glamour

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Six: Summer Glamour

For **magonliastar08**

"_Dyke."_

"_Lesbo."_

"_Freak."_

"_Perv."_

"_Go to Hell!."_

_Theo cried out as she woke from her dark sleep. She saw nothing in the dream. She was drenched in sweat. She stared out into the dark and took in deep breaths to calm herself down. She wasn't even sure whether she was still dreaming and it was just her mind playing tricks on her again, making her feel like she was safe back in the realm of reality. Sometimes that was what happened. For just a moment she thought that she was awake again then she would see her again. One time she was standing over her bed and was covered in blood pointing a finger at her. Theo screamed so loudly that some orderly's came rushing in and had to calm her down. Not the preferable way either. Injection. You always ended up waking up the next morning feeling like you were suffering from a really bad hangover. Even if she didn't really want to be there. Sometimes she just wanted to dream for all eternity than spend another second in reality. _

_She felt around her to check that she was in her room and not in the empty, formless space her nightmare trapped her in. Only blank blackness and heard the hurting, accusing voices of her past and guilt. She was afraid to sleep now because all they would hear are their voices. Or **her**. Then again she was the voices. There were just different voices. Sometimes she comforted her. Sometimes she taunted her. Sometimes she even screamed at her. She was sometimes grateful that she didn't see her but only hearing her voice made the pain more intense, it just reinforced the fact even more than she was gone. When she would see her she was holding out her blood stained arms and hands. Her face would be painted with crimson. Her chest covered with blood as if it was her armour. She would hold herself out to her. Wordlessly. Her mouth would move, but Theo couldn't hear her words. She could never hear her plea. She would always reach out a hand but Theo would always be pulled back. She would never be able to hold her again. Not even in her dreams._

~ (***) ~

"Come on." Namine begged.

Theo took one look at the pink dress and knew she had only one answer. "No."

"You have to." Namine insisted.

"I'm sure I'm fine with what I've got on."

Pink would be a disaster. She wasn't making a distasteful joke there either. She was born with being literally incapable of wearing pink despite her gender. Her pale skin would just never allow her to be a girly girl opposed to being able to have the ability to dress up as a convincing vampire. In some ways she supposed that was a good thing since they were quite in at the moment and if all failed in finding a job she could always try out for a job as an extra on some vampire movies. Or not. It could be fun, she was sure that Namine would get a kick out of it, still she wasn't exactly sure that was the career path she wanted to go down. Then again she was always reminded by her parents to never stereotype in any way because of someone's sexuality, race, beliefs and even gender. Most especially gender. That was what you could expect from people who had the jobs that they had. Then again Theo never needed to be lectured about stereotyping someone upon that account. She could remember as an infant her mother dressed her up in the brightest dress in her wardrobe which just happened to be pink and just happened to be a gift from her Grandmother and the occasion just happened to be her birthday so she was obligated to wear it. At the time, even her mother knew it was a bad idea (she was an artist) but she also knew of the repercussions of Theo not wearing it. Despite the woman's age, Theo's Grandmother had a memory the size of an elephant. Theo was still recovering from the trauma.

"And look plain amongst the gorgeous and rich. No, I'm not having it."

Theo looked away and rolled her eyes and looked away. "Wow your capacity for modesty never ends, huh Namine?"

For the past half hour Namine had been trying to get Theo into one of her cousins' expensive clothing for the dinner that night. She was sure that no one was going to dress up that much but Namine was having none of it. As she observed the gentle curves of her body she shrugged.

"Then again, you don't need to dress into anything luxurious to be gorgeous."

Both Namine and Theo turned to the door to see it was Xion who had spoken. She was leaning against the door with her arm pressed against it hanging over her eyes in a fashion that would put even James Dean to shame. Theo was too star-struck to retort and Xion realized that she had gone too far. Her heart was beating faster than a race dog running down the track. She wasn't sure whether the look on her face told her that she was freaked out or flattered by the comment. She wa was a hard girl to read. Once someone had been on the scene for long enough they were able to comfortably communicate their feelings across to the other said person upon how they felt about something they said or did. Theo was still an in-training lesbian. If there was such a thing. She wasn't supposed to come on too strongly. Not within the first few hours of meeting her anyway. Sometimes, she just never thought about what was going to come out of her did she? She probably had to back off big time now until the dust had settled once again. Thankfully the uneasy silence was broken by Namine.

"Xion, can you please help me get Theo into something? She just won't co-operate." She begged which was followed by a glare in Theo's direction. She wasn't exactly threatened by a glamour girl pout.

Xion raised an eyebrow. "You do realise that fashion isn't exactly my forte let alone my area of interest."

Namine sighed and waved at hand. "No matter, no matter. I'll get her into something." Xion made a mock bow to both of them and left the room, leaving Theo at the mercy of her designer hunger cousin.

"Now lets get one thing straight. You are going to wear the nice clothes we are lending you this summer and you are not going to protest nor fight against it. You have no other clothing so resistance is futile." She demanded shaking a finger.

Theo sighed, knowing what her cousin was saying was true...and she hated to admit it when it came to something as trivial as clothing. She could see from the death threats prior to her arrival and the reason she was receiving them (which wasn't even caused by anything that she said or did) that it was the one thing in this world that gave her meaning. It was quite comical actually since she was self-stereotyping her own social class (the upper class who could afford all that designer clothing which other people wondered why it had to cost as much as it did). Namine rummaged through the wardrobe until she gasped and wiped out a dress. Theo reluctantly turned her head to see what she was throwing in her face now. It was a silk and velvet black dress with so many pieces of glitter on it it seemed to be like a painting of a night sky. Namine began to beg her with her puppy eyes.

"Please, please, please, please. It matches your eyes, would look great against you skin." Namine suggested darting around Theo pressing the dress against her.

"Alright, alright." She surrendered.

Namine began jumping up and down screaming. "Yay!"

Theo took the dress and slipped out of her clothing and put on the dress. It fit like a glove. She was usually the plain girl in her group and in her school but now she felt ten times more beautiful than the prom queen. Namine pushed her over to the dresser and began doing her hair.

"You look sooooooooo pretty." She screeched.

Theo covered her ears. "Okay, okay if you don't calm down it's coming off. But thanks." She replied nervously.

Namine smirked to herself. "So, how do you like Xion?"

Theo blushed. "She's nice and er..."

Namine grabbed her by both the shoulder and pressed her face close to her cousins. "You like her don't you?"

"Um..."

Before she could stop her, Namine was already jumping up and down again. "Iknewit! Iknewit! Iknewit! Iknewit! Iknewit!" She chirped.

Theo leaned forward in her chair, panicking. "But please don't tell her. I've just met her I don't want to scare her off."

Namine peered and her and shrugged. "Fine. I'll let you take it slow and steady. But if you are not her girlfriend by the end of the summer I will have to intervene is that clearly?"

Theo nodded, knowing that there was no other way around it.


	7. Summer

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Seven: Summer

For **May All Your Bacon Burn**

_She walked down the corridor, not thinking about where she was going. After an appointment with Dr Anselm or after seeing a visitor, or her only visitor it sent her mind into a sense of disarray. It always made her question again why she was here and perhaps whether there was an actual good reason for her being there as well. She looked round at the other patients and could admit that some of them had a better reason than her for being here. She almost felt like she had to prove herself. She hadn't thought about where she was going to go for a long time. She wasn't sure what her next step was going to be since that implied that there was a small part of her that wanted to still live. She was sick of everyone thinking that she was being melodramatic but there was plenty of other things which caused her to feel like this before Xion came along. Her last few months at high school were a huge blow on the self-esteem. And there were other things as well...Something which she hadn't told anyone. Not even Dr Anselm or her parents. She couldn't tell anyone about that otherwise they would get mad at her for going anywhere near him in the first place. There would be all these questions about why she went anywhere near him in the first place. She didn't even know why she went looking for him...Maybe she wanted to know why...Why Xion...Why her...She was always planning ahead, making sure she was step ahead of the game but now..._

"_Hey Tess."_

_Theo looked up with a frown on her face and saw it was one of the other patients. She wasn't entirely sure as to who it was. She was tall and rather slim with short, spikey blue hair. _

"_It's Theo." She replied in a dead-panned voice. _

_The girl stopped and blinked. "Sorry."_

_Theo shrugged her shoulders and carried on walking. She couldn't really care less whether this girl could remember her name or not. She wasn't going to be here for much longer so she wasn't planning on making any friends. She probably sounded annoyed but she didn't mean to..._

"_Hey!"_

_It was the same girl again. Theo sighed and put her hands in her pockets. Some people around here just didn't know how to quit. _

"_I'm kind of in a hurry so I was just wondering what you were doing later."_

_Theo blinked at her and rubbed her eyes. "What do you mean?"_

_The girl shrugged her shoulders. "It's just me and some other people are going to try and sneak out later and I was wondering whether you wanted to come join us."_

"_Okay...Um just a quick question how are you planning on doing that?"_

_The girl winked at her as she was about to walk off. She was walking backwards just so that she could still see her when Theo gave her her answer._

"_You'll find out tonight." And then ran off in the other direction._

_What she was doing? Her legs just wanted to go somewhere. She looked around as if she was in the shot-gun seat of a car where someone else was taking her someone she didn't recognise. She was beginning to panic because she was having no control over the situation. She knew she had lost all sense of control recently but she had to hold it together to a certain extent. She wanted to go somewhere else. But **she** wasn't going to listen. She had no use for thinking about what she wanted so she obeyed despite feeling tired. She was tired of eating, tired of sleeping, tired of being awake, tired of thinking, tired of breathing, tired of living. Nothing felt like it was worth it any more. Every ounce of willpower had been sucked out of her once she had vanished from the world. She remembered the funeral and she silently allowed the tears to fall down her face but she didn't think much of them or why they were there. She didn't sob, she didn't hide her crying face away from the crowd. She just let them fall. They didn't mean anything but they meant everything she just didn't want to acknowledge it too much but it was the whole reason why she was here. She hoped that with them she would be able to cry away her pain. Alas, this was unsuccessful, once she had stopped crying, the pain still remained._

_Some guys came running round the corner a second later and their eyes zoomed in on her. Great. They were probably going to ask her..._

"_Did you see where she went?"_

_Theo sighed again,tiredly this time and rubbed her eyes as she groaned. She was getting too tired for all this shit..._

"_Did I see who?"_

"_Aqua." He snapped irritably. _

_She looked up and could see that he looked as tired as she felt. She wasn't surprised considering what he did for a living..._

"_Is she the tall one with blue hair?" She asked. _

"_Yes."_

"_Then she ran down the corridor and took a left." She replied. _

_She didn't she ran down the corridor and then jumped out the window on the right. She just didn't want to a reputation as someone who told on others. She wasn't like that. She didn't hate everyone here. _

"_Thank you."_

"_You're welcome." She snapped in an equally sarcastic voice to his and shoved past her when he went in the direction she told him._

_She watched them until they disappeared around the corner and then turned back in the direction she was going to be aimlessly walking into and then jumped when she found a familiar pair of blue eyes right in front of hers. She yelped which seemed to amuse the owners of these blue eyes and made her rub her eyes again. This was getting ridiculous now..._

"_Look I'm not having a great day...Right now...So whatever it is you want to mention to me please make it quick."_

_The boy's shoulders was jumping up and down. "No it isn't exactly your day is it?"_

_She raised an eye brow. "No it isn't so make it snappish."_

_He put his hands into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I was just going to make some witty comment about you saving Aqua's ass and advise you to not go out with her tonight."_

"_Oh yes? Well don't worry I wasn't really going to go. If she hadn't run off I was going to tell her that I was going to think about it, which is code for-"_

"_A definite yes."_

_Theo looked at him funny and shook her head. "Whatever."_

"_No really the last time she broke out they were caught after not getting that far and also they caught her doing something pretty nasty..."_

_Theo frowned. "Why what did they catch her doing? Is she into some weird stuff?"_

_He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "Very funny. She was doing something to some girl and if you're really curious you can just go and ask her to show her the scars they're still there."_

_Theo took a step back, if he was trying to make her feel guilty then he was doing a good job of it. She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. _

"_Who was it? Don't give me that look I'm not actually going to ask her to show me her scars, I'm just wondering which girl was it..."_

"_Rikku. The blondie who dresses weird."_

_Theo nodded. "Oh yeah...Her. Yeah she seems nice and weirdly not that messed up..."_

"_Well she's one of the ones who likely to make it."_

_Theo frowned. "What do you mean?"_

_He shrugged. "I mean she's one of the ones who's likely to get out of here one day. You on the other hand...Are quite the enigma. I can usually figure people out people by now but still after here being as long as it has...I still can't figure it out."_

"_Maybe I don't want to be figured out, Roxas."_

_He raised his eyebrows. "You know my name?"_

"_Yeah, know mine?" She called over her shoulder as she walked away._

_He chuckled. "Yeah. See you later, Theo."_

_She aimlessly walked through the institution, paying no mind to the cries and howls coming from the rooms which she passed. Their soundless words echoed through the walls where no one would hear them except for those with deaf ears. It was a usual thing. It had become her reality. This mad, encapsulated world had become what she thought of as the world. It was all she had now and she had a feeling it was all she was going to be left with. In her dreams she heard their screams and when she woke up she welcomed to the screams of her inmates. They wanted to howl for their release but there were people who wanted to hold them back. People who said they loved them. Other who said they just wanted to help. If they wanted to help then they should let their passing from this world into the next be peaceful and painless. It was at the hour when people were getting their treatments and as you can imagine some were more difficult than others. Theo took her pills wordlessly and without any protest. They numbed the pain somewhat and that was all that matter. It wasn't the pain in her body that she was bothered about it. It was a pain which she felt much deeper that the pills dulled just that little bit. However they would never be able to bring her back. No matter how much she wished for it, no matter how much she dreamt it, she would never be able to bring back the one she loved._

~ (***) ~

Theo looked up at the ceiling dimly with her mouth agape. She was so bored and so drunk. Well she wasn't bored. Her mind was preoccupying her quite well so she didn't have that much to complain about for the moment. She had never, ever gotten this drunk before. There was the occasional house party she allowed her 'friends' to drag her to but she never drank more than a sip. Now she was letting all that go beyond the roof and by the looks of things she wasn't the only one that as well. She was just scared that she would do or say something she would regret. She would look around at people kissing and jumping on one another, what if she jumped on the wrong person? She had no desire to sleep with a guy but what if she slept with a girl and everyone found out. That night she must have had four glasses of red wine and three shots of vodka so she was surprised that she wasn't acting like everyone else and dancing with random people, snogging random people (unless they weren't single, they were very publicly snogging their partners. She was surprised and impressed with their restraint considering that there was a fair amount of alcohol in their system). Oh, and there was also the odd person throwing up in the sink or the bathroom every few minutes. After about two hours of this Theo's head was starting to go round in circles and make its own mini explosions.

"You having fun sweetie?" A familiar face asked her. She leaned forward and peered at the face to see who it was. Axel.

She liked Axel and his bright red hair. You would be able to spot him from a mile away like a burning beacon on the horizon. She wanted to reach out and touch it but she had enough self-control at the moment to consider that he might have something to say about it. And a possible boyfriend that might happen to be here. She always had liked him and it always took her a while to warm to people. Now. She liked more than that about him but since she was so drunk his bright green eyes and brightly coloured hair seemed to be the thing which attracted her the most to him rather than his flamboyant personality. But she mostly liked his bright red hair because it made him stand out. She wanted to be like that, to stand out and not give a shit about what other people would think about it. She could only hope a little bit of Axel's confidence would rub off on her. She noticed with the few conversations she had with him that he always had an interesting conversation opener. It almost acted like a warning or an indicter to where the conversation was going to go.

"Yeaaaaaah." She drawled. He chuckled and took a seat beside.

"Someone can't hold their drink.'" He sang with amusement.

"Someone can control themselves." She said pointing at the few couples that had hooked up in the corner. He nodded in agreement after surveying the scene.

"Tis true, tis true." He replied. He turned his green eyes to hers and put his glass down. "So sweetie, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Ha, Namine hasn't told that much about you evidently." She retorted.

"Hm?"

"I'm gay!" She shouted a bit too loudly.

Axel's eyes widened with smirk creeping on his face. "Really? Someone is going to be very happy to hear that..."

She craned her head back dramatically and blinked. "Sorry, I didn't catch that." She replied, blinking in an adorable manner. Axel shook his head and patted her on the knee.

"Nothing, sweetheart. Nothing."

"So what about you?" She asked.

"What do you mean what about me?"

"Are you gay?" She asked, poking him on the nose.

"Why yes I am. Very much so. Always have been, always will, to my father's dismay. When Reno came out I was the last chance to carry on the family name. You can imagine how bad it must've been discovering that both his sons were gay."

"If he loved you he wouldn't care about fickle things like that." She replied wagging her finger.

"Besides hasn't he heard of surrogates and adoption."

He tilted his head to the side. "No but that is something I shall definitely raise next time I see him. You have a wise head on your shoulders. Good for you."

"What? What?" She asked, blinking again.

Axel looked away shaking his head. At least she wouldn't have to spend so much on her nights out since it was easy to get this girl drunk. It was every student's dream being able to have a cheap night out and here we are, the one in a million that could have that. Obviously he had to keep the sayings and expressions to a minimum when this girl was drunk, which he could tell was not very often. She was an intelligent girl but all of those functions that enabled her to be so went down momentarily for when the alcohol kicked in. Being the moment that the drink touched her lips. It was most likely that she hadn't had that much exposure to alcohol prior to tonight, hence the grand effect it was having on her. He remembered the first time he got drunk...Although there was a bit of irony to that memory because he had gotten so drunk that he couldn't even recall the events of that night. Still, it was something he should probably pass on to Xion who was the queen of old sayings, regardless if it was not exactly the best time. Speaking of which, he began to wonder where she was. He scanned the crowds and tried to find her before she did something stupid. She was prone to doing impulsive things when she was drunk. He glanced at the vulnerable, care-free Theo lying next to him and began to worry whether she would try something on her tonight. Xion would never be able to live it down.

He got to his feet and turned to Theo. "I'm just going to go find Xion okay? I'll be back soon."

When he mentioned Xion's name Theo went wild, throwing her arms about protesting against this.

"Wait, wait!" She cried. "You can't I have to tell you something first!"

He raised an eyebrow and leaned forward. "Ah, a secret. I love secrets. Come, come." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"I loooooove...her." Then erupted into a fit of giggles and fell back into the chair. He smiled back and her and turned away.

_Oh my, this is going to be an interesting summer, _he thought.


	8. One Crazy Summer

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

A/N: Sorry I've been away for so long, I'm going to admit that it was mostly due to writing two other stories and I do apologise for that. I also have exams going at the moment so...Anyway, I hope you'll all forgive me and that you enjoy this new chapter.

Also in the story I've just finished I dedicated certain chapters to those who reviewed, alerted or favourited my story while I was still writing which I'll also begin with this one (even though there's only been one person so far to do so).

Chapter Eight: One Crazy Summer

For **AkuRoku-SoRiku-love**

_What was there left to feel now that everything was gone? There was no logic in even trying to connect with anything was there was no one to connect with. Even if there was it would almost feel like a betrayal against Xion. Even thought she was dead, she could still feel her. People thought that she was crazy (hence why she was here) but she could genuinely see her. She sometimes came to her at night when she needed someone to talk to. Like in the summer, she would always sneak into her room and they would lie together in bed. She would wrap her arms around her and find herself falling to seem faster than she had done in years. What was point in trying when there wasn't going to be anything for her at the end of the road? She knew that she shouldn't so infatuated with her first love but wasn't there the off-chance that on some occasions some people actually meet the person they're supposed to be with on the first occasion they meet someone they're interested in. Why did she have to remember and talk about an event she would rather put away and never return to ever again? Wasn't that the point in her being there? _

_Theo could've participated in the group meetings talking about her feelings and how she felt alone but then have someone next to her take her hand, making sure that she knew that it wasn't true. But she would rather stare out the window and watch the last remnants of summer fade away into autumn. She already got enough of it from her parents after she died, then after a few attempts they locked her there, believing that they could make her better. Instead of showing her inner emotions in a creative way like music or art she'd rather take solace in her solitude. It was much better for her to stay away from as many people as possible . She hated this place. She hated the sad smiles or the nurses attempts at showing her signs of affection. Just by reaching out their hand to hold hers. Or to sit down and talk about anything she wanted. It was pathetic. She wasn't in some rest centre for those who attempted suicide it was a mental hospital like any other place. They probably even knew about her sexual orientation. She hated her parents for sending her here, thinking that it would make her better. She would prefer them to leave her and let her eventually succeed in her efforts and finally end it all. She was sure that would create a masterpiece or a best-seller._

_The sound of running down the corridor approached her room so she shut her door before someone could peek through the crack in her door and ask her if she wanted to come to a self help meeting. She pressed her body against the door to bar anyone from coming in. The one person who could was one of the men in white coats and lets face it they were checking the corridors for people who didn't attend the meetings. They had 'better' things to do other than track people like her down. No thank you. She didn't want to have any part in such ridiculous events. She wasn't one for a great confession and out-pour of her life story. Or she wasn't like that anymore. She had not time for sentimentality anymore. Who was going to listen to her and actually understand what she was going through. For the first few weeks they had come in and invited her, accepting her decline. After a while they had given up knowing her answer. She was a lost cause. Good riddance. She preferred to be alone with her ghosts._

~ (***) ~

Theo woke up to the morning sun shining through the clear, narrow but tall window. She blinked a little and wondered for a moment where on Earth she was. She had forgotten completely about what had happened for the past few days let alone what happened the night before. She looked around wondering where her mother was, when she woke her up in the morning, even if it was a saturday and her father running around looking for his manuscript. Even looking in Theo's room just in case he left it there by mistake. She would be able to smell pancakes being fried in a pan and here the sound of the radio blasting from the kitchen. Her father's voice would be echoing throughout the household talking about what her mother's art dealer said or what her father's agent told him about his latest book. Her mother was always coming into her room making sure that she was at least awake by eight-thirty in the morning. However when she looked around in the room that she was in she found herself lying in crimson silk rather than cotton, baby blue sheets. This was much more luxurious than what she was used to. She ran her fingers over the smooth material more mesmerized than frightened. The walls were a light golden colour rather than lilac. The bed she was lying in was twice the size as the one in her bedroom and the room itself seemed a lot more spacious than her own.

She rubbed her head, it was throbbing more than it ever had done. She looked around murmuring incoherent words to herself. Almost like she was testing that she could still talk and trying to figure out how she got here by talking to herself. Not a logical way to go about doing things but it seemed to work for her at the time. Soon the memory of a hot car filled her thoughts. Then her memories began to realign themselves from when she was being driven to her cousins to last night when she got more drunk than she ever had done. She couldn't even remember what happened the night before she had gotten so drunk. It was that bad and she had never allowed herself to get that drunk before. But then again that was because out of all her 'friends' she was always the one who said she would be the driver so that she wouldn't have to drink. She didn't know what it was but she just wasn't into it. In fact she was so drunk that she couldn't even remember last nights events. She threw herself back onto the pillows and moaned. This was a great way to show her gratefulness for her cousins hospitality. Get drunk on the first night of being there. Then again at least she didn't throw up, she, at least, wasn't that drunk. She struggled to be able to move even a millimetre when she tried to swing her legs round to get out of bed.

After a few minutes of wriggling she finally fell out of bed making her groan in pain. She leaned back until she felt her head touch the bed or she thought she felt the top of her brushing against the duvet. She did other stretching exercises before she got to her feet which was a strange sensation. She felt like the world around her was spinning and that her insides wanted to be turned inside out. Her head was about to split in two and her throat was dry. She waved her arms about aimlessly to try and find a door to walk through or for something to hold onto. Either one of those seemed like a good idea, anything that was going to get her to a glass of water or cup of coffee safely was a good idea. She forced herself to her feet and staggered out of the room. Slowly. As fast her feet allowed within reason, she didn't want to end up face down on the floor in the most painful fashion possible. She glanced around seeing through the open doors people rubbing their heads or under the same conditions as Theo. She swore she heard someone vomit into the toilet, it was like walking through a war-zone hospital.

She gripped onto the banister making her way down. "Hey." Someone moaned from the top of the stairs.

She glanced over her shoulder to see a messy-haired blonde following her. "Morning Namine. You look how I feel."

"Ha. Thanks. That makes me feel sooooo much better." She replied with a weak laugh.

Theo began to laugh along with her until she heard a joyful humming from the kitchen. She smiled and gripped onto the banister as she followed the sound of the singing. It made her feel a little bit better. It was good enough for her to bare to listen to it. It wasn't high pitched enough to give her a headache and the song that was being sung was decent enough for her to appreciate it. Once she got to the bottom of the stairs she made her way through the living room (gripping on the couches as she walked past) and leapt from the last couch to the kitchen door and knew she had to grab onto the first sturdy thing possible as soon as she got in but not to startle whoever it was too much in case they were making something. She didn't want to set the house on fire if they were using the stove or anything like that. Theo made her way slowly to find a familiar redhead dancing around the kitchen making breakfast, drink coffee and texting on his phone all at the same time. She blinked before checking again to see if this was actually happening. Axel had something to drink the night before right? How was he so chirpy? He already dressed in a white t-shirt and slightly baggy jeans. Theo felt like she wanted to punch him in the face.

"Did you just not drink at all last night?" She asked curiously. He looked up with a surprised look on his face.

"Good morning, dear." He returned brightly. "How are you feeling?"

"How do you think we're feeling, Axel?" Namine replied irritably. He held up his hands in mock surrender.

"I do apologise for being able to hold my own drink." He cried melodramatically. "I was going to come and offer to make coffee for everyone. Considering how much people would be in need of it this morning."

"How kind of you." Namine muttered.

Axel looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Now you're certainly not getting one. You're going to have to make your own." He chided, wagging a finger. Namine rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"Whatever, you never make mine right anyway." She replied moodily.

Theo resisted a giggle and her eyes wandered over in Axel's direction. "Do you want some caffeine my dear?" He sang. She nodded gratefully and he jumped into action."How do you take it?"

"Black, three sugars." She replied.

He held a hand to his chest. "A woman after my own heart. Unfortunately, we're both gay so it can never be."

She tilted her head to the side. "Don't worry we can be fateful platonic loves."

He nodded, pointing a finger in her direction. "Precisely."

Namine pulled a face. "God, if you guys are going to be talking like this I am going outside in the fresh air." Before stomping out the kitchen, making them both laugh.

"Not a morning person?"

"Oh no." He replied.

She smiled after her cousin. Namine was the brightest and purkiest person she knew, she always thought that she would be a morning person opposed to a night owl. It seemed like she was going to be in for a lot of surprises this summer. Although if Namine was like this in the morning then she didn't even want to find out what Larxene was like. Then again, for all she knew she could ironically be a morning person, after she was a professional boxer, she could imagine she would have to get up early for her daily training. Despite the headache she had never felt this happy before, besides being with her parents. She had never felt like there would be people that she would trust herself enough with to get drunk with. Sure she had fun with her friends in the past but with now knowing that they would never care for her as she really was those memories lost their sparkle. She now felt happy in the kitchen, with a man she hardly knew making her some coffee, making it exactly how she liked it. Not even her old friends would bother to ask that kind of question.

He glanced in her direction as he put in the sugar. She had a dazed look on her face that was misted with content. He smiled knowingly.

"Penny for your thoughts."

She looked up with surprise. "Hm?"

He laughed and brought her a cup of coffee. "What's on your mind, darling?"

She thanked him and sipped her coffee. Her eyes widened, she always thought her Dad made the best coffee in the world, but this was surreal.

"This is delicious."

He nodded. "It was my first job ever, making coffee it was what got me my promotion. Well..." He looked around in mock-suspicion and then leaned in. "That and a minor affair with someone high up."

She giggled at his mischievous nature and took another sip. "In a strange sort of way I liked it. It was therapeutic. I didn't need to think about it, I just needed to make it just right."

"Well, you have made it just right." She assured him. She hesitated before answering his question.

"I was thinking about how happy I was. The fact that I was here surrounded by people who wouldn't care in least that I liked girls. That I had cousins that wanted me to wear pretty clothes. And that I have some to make me great coffee. It's...something more than what I had before I came here."

"Wow," He began, raising an eyebrow. "Those kids at your school must have been real bitches."

She sighed. "Namine?"

He nodded. "Hm. You do realise that she cannot keep her mouth shut about anything?" She nodded. "So what did they do, all I heard that they shunned you and spread rumours."

She gave him a cynical smile and nodded to confirm that this information was true. He gave her a smirk of his own as if to say _figures. _She could see that this was the smile coming from someone who had 'been there, done that, bought the t-shirt'. She could imagine that his flamboyant personality didn't go down well with everyone at his high school. People would envision him as the most popular kid in school but at the same time he was sure that he could be the one who was bullied for a reason he didn't know but that was because some bullies could see that you were gay before you did. She figured that Namine would make her last experiences of high school national news. She wasn't going to be surprised if she went out on a whole mission to make a national scandal out of it. She could picture her now walking through the streets with a microphone or whatever they were shouting things at the passersby and just telling her life story and all that sort of thing and going a national wide mission to end all that crap in high schools. She had to admit, she would be marching with her, along with the rest of the household. But she should just like bygones but bygones. Kids were just kids. They treated each other like shit when they encountered something that was different or something they weren't sure about. It was even worse when it brought out questions about themselves. That was probably it.

She nodded. "That was more or less it. They thought that I had a crush on every one of them. As since I was a lesbian I was attracted to every girl I see on the street. So they got cautious around me and eventually they stopped spending time with me altogether. When people asked questions they weren't afraid to tell the truth and slightly bended it at the same time."

Axel took a gulp of his coffee and sat next to her. "Like what?"

"Oh...Like the way they found about it was me making a move on them."

He pulled a face and shook his head. "You're better off without them. They sound like self-absorbed bitches to me."

"You know what the funny thing is? I knew that all along and now that everything is clearer I wonder why I spent any time with them."

He threw up his hands. "There you go. You don't need them."

She nodded. "That's right. It's time for new beginnings and I can't wait to go to college."

"College people are a lot more accepting of homosexuals. Especially lesbians. It must be all the college girls experimenting, believe me you're going to have a ball of a time there. Seriously, you'll be offering great services to your fellow woman. I mean it!" He cried slamming in hand on the side as she threw her head back laughing.

"Man, if that's what college is going to be like," She took a sip before finishing her sentence. "Then I can't wait."

Axel drunk his last sip and looked up contemplatively. "So how did you know?" He asked thoughtfully.

She glanced at him, blinking. It took a few moments for her to realise what he was asking her and she put her cup down.

"Well, there was this girl who was living next door for a few weeks. She was very pretty and when I first saw her she was nothing like I had ever since before. I mean at that point I hadn't liked guys I almost thought that there was something wrong with me. She never spoke to me until the last day she was staying with her relatives or whatever, but we would always look at each other from across the street. One day she came over to me when I was waiting for my Dad to come home because I had forgotten my key. She stared at me for God knows how long. She slowly walked towards me and she didn't utter a word and she just kissed me. I closed my eyes for a long time and had them closed long after she did it. When I opened my eyes again she was gone. But I knew. I just knew that was what it was."

It was so strange going back to that memory for so long. She didn't tell many people about that. She didn't even tell her Mom about it. She told her that she had kissed someone but she didn't go into any details about it. She hadn't thought about it for about year. It wasn't something that she felt she needed to even think about it anymore. It was so confusing that she put it from her mind but soon the less she thought about it the more it made sense. That was the reason. She didn't have to battle with it anymore. Months after it happened she had sleepless nights thinking about it. She was constantly questioning why she always got a buzz out of it every time she thought about it. It meant so much to her, those last few moments. Something that meant that much to you, which revealed something about you which you didn't even realise but had always been there was something that was going to make you have sleepless nights for weeks. It defined who she was going to be for the rest of her life. Of course, your sexuality shouldn't be something that others should see you as, people weren't walking around with signs on their foreheads, nor was it 'a lifestyle choice' as everyone liked to call it but it was something that was a part of you and you should just simply accept it. After she knew who she was she no longer had to think on it. She could put it behind her but she would always hold it in her heart.

"Wow. That's deep." Axel replied looking down at the table.

She smirked and glanced at him. "So when did you know?"

He looked up. "Me? Oh it was a lot less romantic and meaningful. Basically I was at a house party when I was sixteen and this boy, Darren Wiles took me to a room and...well showed me the things that gay guys did when they wanted to be intimate and I was sold."

She shook her head. "Never tried it with a girl?"

"I kissed a girl, but I wasn't feeling it."

She nodded. "You just do or you don't."

"Exactly. None of this, 'you just haven't met the right one' crap.' He retorted, using a high, sweaky voice. "I mean in this day and age."

She stopped laughing and looked down with a thoughtful look on her face. Axel leaned forward with a sly grin on his face.

"What is it my dear?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I was just wondering..."

"Yes?"

His suddenness made her look up and returned the smile. "I was wondering about Xion."

He leaned back. "Ohhhh, Xion. Well, I'll leave her to tell that tale." He paused. "But give her time. She will tell you when she's ready."

She had a concerned look on her face. "Is it that bad?"

He looked back at her. "It's just...It's just something that you should hear from her first."


	9. Summer Mornings

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Nine: Summer Mornings

For **Imperial Dragon**

_She wandered down the corridor listening to the 'circle time' echoing down the hall. She had heard about a girl who was here because she got into drugs and eventually her parents kicked her out, she was on the streets for a while. She squatted for a bit. It was all very rough for a few weeks until she was so out of her mind that she walking into a rush of traffic. The police picked her up and the same night she attempted suicide in the cell. She was sent here the next day. Theo shook her head as she listening, wondering whether those in authority had any common sense. People did the weirdest shit when they were high it didn't mean they were genuinely fine. She needed rehab not suicide support. There was almost no need for her to attend since she could hear it perfectly well from outside. She had nothing to say, nothing to tell. It was perfectly clear as to why she was here and there was no need to say any more about it. She didn't want to be there but she liked the hum of voices from behind a closed door. It was like hearing the ending of a song with the instruments and the singers voice slowly beginning to fade away. In a way it was quite calming, after the many restless, sleepless nights, the sound of their voices brought her peace. It was almost a sign that she was finally going to be able to leave. It was the sound of a farewell. It wasn't so deafening or sharp on the ears._

_Sometimes when some of these people talked it made her want to cover her ears and shut out the hurtful, poisonous words. They didn't know what she had been through. What she was going through. Sure they had it on their own pieces of paper, telling them what had happened to her. Her case file. But nothing in that file could tell them what was going through her head. They didn't even know about...She took a deep breath and shook the thought away. She didn't think about that. She knew that she couldn't stop him but there was a part of her that felt like it was a betrayal towards Xion. She could have fought him off. She could have gotten away. She could have not gone to find him at all. There were so many people screaming here, drowning out her own thoughts filling her mind with their own. It was too much. Ones that were filled with blind hope and optimism. They were all so blind in thinking things were going to get better. How can things get better when they're letting people who want to keep from what they want more than anything control them? How come they can't fight for what they want more than anything? A release. Even she was doomed from the start. She could never bring herself to blame Xion, she loved her too much, even if their love with short lived. She could never bring herself to blame her._

_There were some people who were here, like her, because of losing someone they loved. Sometimes it was a lover. Other times it was a parent or a friend. It didn't make them any more pathetic than her nor did it make their situation any more justified than Theo's. She couldn't pretend that anyone was any better in this place. The strange thing about being here was that there was more equality between all the inmates than there was out in the real world. But when she listened to their stories it made her want to vomit. She felt ashamed to admit to this but when she listened to their woes she found that they were far trivial than those of her own. Their love was fickle. It was either puppy love or one based on sex. Her love for Xion was neither of those, it was healthy balance in between. It was something which everyone was looking for in a relationship or in everything that you wanted out of life in general. That healthy balance where you always felt safe. She wanted to be with her for as long as she lived, their relationships were going to end in a matter of months or days. They weren't here because they wanted to kill themselves. They were here because they wanted attention. They didn't know what love even if it stared them in the face. It angered her that they were wallowing in their own self-pity when she was there with no one to comfort her because they had no idea how._

"_Theo?"_

~ (***) ~

Xion hummed to herself as she made her way downstairs. She only sang or hummed when she was happy. She very rarely sung outside of those occurrences. There were enough people in this house that sung for no reason. She wasn't like Marlie or Axel was singing every day just to annoy everyone with their choice of song and bad voices (although Marlie genuinely thought he had good taste in music along with a good singing voice. In other words, the difference between Axel and Marlie was that Axel wasn't in denial and was aware of the annoyance factor in him singing and quite frankly enjoyed it.). She was trying to distract herself from the excessive, nauseating tiredness she was feeling at the moment. She always said this after last night that she was never going to drink that much EVER again but then along came the next drinking session came and there she was, drooling on the carpet with her head in the corner wondering why her left sock had gone missing. She groaned with each step that she took as she walked down the stairs, ruining the entire purpose of humming a cheerful, morning tune to herself which eventually turned into groaning with pain. She decided to pull on some clothes before she made her presence known in the house (you never know what can happen on a drunken night, she had heard stories of people waking up in the middle of wood one morning. In other words: Axel).

She hated going downstairs in someone's house in her pyjamas, just one of her many ticks. She didn't know whether it was something to do with her upbringing or her OCD-ness. Or maybe it was because her upbringing involved instilling manners into her skull which even the Virgin Mary would deem as going a little overboard. She even hated doing it when she was staying with relatives for Christmas, which was probably even weirder. Then again anyone who had ticks was weird. She probably had OCD or something. Then everyone had OCD to a certain extent. She ran a hand through her spiky hair and yawned. She didn't care about brushing it since it was always messy, no matter what she did to it. She was more tired than achy from the previous night. She was the type of person that needed a full nights sleep in order to function properly. Even though she had drunk more before than last night she still had gone her very few years without getting a hangover. Maybe it was something genetic, her father used to boast that he would be able to sleep like a baby and wake up with the same energy as a child after going out for a few drinks with his friends in college. She had testimonies from them when they came for those embarrassing get-togethers with spouses or partners to verify it.

She hated that she had let Larxene throw so much beer down her throat. She could feel her throat had gone as dry as sand paper and every time she breathed in through her mouth her throat hurt. She didn't literally throw it done her throat, thank goodness. That may have been her one way ticket to her first hangover and as she had been told the first was always the worst. It may have also been a one way trip to the ER since that was an easy person to get someone to choke on a drink. And she did not mean to rhyme in that earlier sentence. There was nothing worse than finding yourself rhyming in everyday speech. Maybe she had a wilder night than she thought. She never did that when she was in her right mind. She knew that it made her do many a stupid things when she drank beer in particular and to Larxene it was her idea of fun. Especially after the Axel's birthday in May. She knew she would be getting payback for that even before she did it and she knew the effect beer had on Xion. It was more or less her kryptonite. She could drink endless amounts of rum, gin and tonic, anything and not get drunk. Still, she was going to get her back. The endless cycle of pranks was going to be a never-ending battle between the two of them until one of them submitted and since Larxene had a fierce, competitive spirit and Xion always got a kick out of it, it looked like it was never going to end.

She looked around the lounge as she came down to see who was awake, even though that would be hoping for too much when it came to her friends. Perhaps it would help having a semi-serious conversation just as long as it wasn't about the existence of God or when someone's Grandmother died. That would be too serious but she needed something more than what the latest celebrity was wearing or who were they were dating at the moment when they were supposed to be married to someone else. That seemed to do the trick when she needed her mind to get back into the swing of things. She needed her own brain massage. It seemed quiet, but she was sure that there was someone who had to be awake at this hour. Axel had to be up, he always was. He never got a hangover, no matter what he was drinking. She knew she had never had a hangover but she wasn't the morning bird of the group either. It was relatively early considering that she was currently in a house which was currently filled with people suffering from a serious hangover which had spread throughout the house like wild fire. Still there had to be at least a few people awake and alive. Axel being one of them for sure. How the damned redhead could hold his drink and not have to suffer a hangover was something she didn't damn him for, since she shared the same condition, but was something she was always curious about.

"Morning." Said a bright voice.

Xion turned her head to find Theo standing at the bottom of the stairs. She was dressed in a grey t-shirt and tight fitting jeans. She looked tired but she obviously had some caffeine. She still looked wonderful.

"Wow, you must be an early riser. Or do you secretly not suffer from hangovers too?" She whispered. "A very useful thing to have in college by the way."

Theo shook her head and chuckled. "No. Unfortunately, I do and now I hate you and Axel for not having them. No, I guess I wake when the sun beckons me and since my mother always dragged me out of bed on Saturdays I've gotten used to getting out of bed early. Her philosophy was to never waste the day with sleeping in."

Xion tilted her head. "Good for her." She replied softly. She stared at her momentarily but then continued walked down the stairs. "And good for you for following it. So I hear caffeine is being made?"

"Yes it is." A voice called from the kitchen. She threw her back and laughed.

"I suppose you've had Axel's famously wonderful coffee?" She breathed dramatically. Theo nodded.

"Black with three sugars." She answered.

"Oh you're going to be his favourite person this summer. I'll make a mental note of it."

Theo frowned. "For when?"

"When I take you out for some coffee." She replied smoothly before turning round and walking into the kitchen. She scrunched her eyes shut realising what she had done.

"Touché." Axel chuckled.


	10. Summer Fancies

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Ten: Summer Fancies

For **Emmi Rayne**

"_Theo?"_

_Theo froze in the darkness. The voice was so familiar but she didn't want to admit to herself that it was them in case that she was wrong. For a moment she thought it was **him**. Maybe he was back to finish the job or to make sure that she wouldn't tell anyone. Then she thought again and knew that it wasn't him. His voice was too kind. Too concerned. And the other man she suspected it to be didn't know her name. She opened her eyes to brave looking around the curtain. It was better not to be disappointed. It was worse when you made even the slightest of expectations and then found yourself being let down. She thought she would be unable to be seen but obviously she was wrong. Usually she hid in the shadows so well in this place, like she had become one with them. People here were invisible to the outside world, even to your fellow inmates. She liked being invisible, no one intervened with your plans nor did they try to hinder them. However saying this, she wished she had a dollar for every time the nurses held her down and stuck a needle in her every time she had an episode or trying killing herself. So it was a surprise when someone was able to notice you. It was even more surprising when she heard her name being said aloud after going on for so long without hearing it. She had almost forgotten her name. She was so used to it now that everyone stopped caring, she had accepted it._

_She slowly turned round. She wanted to face them. She had to. It was the only way that she was going to get through this. She wanted to banish them if it was who she thought it was. Someone who she had come to love in so little time. Someone who helped her to become as close as she did to Xion. If it wasn't for him it probably would have never happened. She began to wonder whether it was because she loved her was the reason why she had died. Perhaps this was her punishment. Perhaps her tormentors were right. Perhaps she belonged in Hell. She tried to shake the thought away knowing that it wasn't true. It couldn't be. She couldn't allow herself to believe that. She had to face her demons eventually and she knew this was it. This was the person who still held on to her even after all that had happened he still wanted her to stay. She was surprised by how much he actually cared. She had to tear herself away from them if she was truly going to be able to leave this world and go onto the next to see Xion once again. She had had enough of this life and she wasn't going to let them stand in her way of returning to the one she loved most. It was cruel for them to come here and help her. To make her continue on living this half a life. When she laid eyes on him she whispered his name._

"_Axel."_

~ (***) ~

"Axel."

Axel looked up blinking. He turned to the owner of the voice and rubbed his eyes, knowing what was going to come out of her mouth next.

"Yes Xion?" He murmured.

"Do you think I came on too strongly?" She asked desperately, eyeing the door to the kitchen.

Theo had announced earlier that she was going to make pancakes for everyone. Although the definition of 'everyone' was being used a little loosely considering that it really referred to anyone who was currently conscious which for the moment was a privilege for just Xion and Axel. Only the early birds got pancakes. It was something which they both revelled in considering Axel loved pancakes and loved being waiting on and Xion liked to feel like she was doing this as a special treat. Or perhaps even as a sign of affection, but who was she kidding? She was only doing it to be nice. It almost made her feel like they were actually dating and was in some scenario where Axel was round at their home for the night and Theo was doing this like it was a regular thing that she made on a Sunday or a Thursday. She was beginning to wonder whether she should smack herself round the head since she was beginning to fantasise of being in actual relationship with her. Namine was still outside in mood and no one else had come downstairs yet. It must have been some night, then again Axel could remember all of it, so he knew it certainly was a night to remember. Or tactically opportunistic for him to be able to recall last nights events...

"No, Xion. You didn't. You did what any normal person did and asked her out on a date. You're

gay, she's gay. You like her, she likes you I don't think there's going to be any problems."

Xion blinked. "Wait, what? She likes me? Did she tell you?" She demanded.

Axel threw his head and back. "Oh God." He moaned. "Yeah, I mean she said it when she was drunk but seriously I would take that as confirmation."

Xion sat back in her seat and sighed. "People say all sorts of things when they're drunk." She replied disappointingly.

"And sometimes they lose their inhibitions and tell you the truths that they wouldn't tell you when they're sober. Believe me there have been other signs."

"Like what?"

"Like, when she asked me about when you found out you were gay. You see I asked her, then she asked me and then she went onto to ask about you. She could've asked about any gay person in this house but she picked you. Meaning there is some interest and I'm sorry Xion but the way she looks at you..." He shook his head and snorted. "She likes you."

Xion sat back in the seat with a smile slowly dawning on her face. This was the best news she had heard in days, weeks. No months. This was amazing. She was being totally over the top about all this but this was brilliant. Fantastic. Amazing. Whatever other adjective she could use to possibly describe Theo she applied to that as well but since she wasn't an English major, her literary skills could only go so far. And also because her overwhelming enthusiasm at the moment she couldn't really think straight, which made it even more obvious that she was utterly and completely in love with her. She liked her. Even though it was from a secondary source there was some chance of Theo liking her. Even if her feelings for her were completely platonic it didn't even matter. Just as long as she didn't have neutral or feelings of hatred towards her everything was okay. She could actually settle for that. She just couldn't bear the thought of her actually hating her. Just the slight feeling of hope or wishful thinking gave her a sense of warmth that she hadn't felt in a long time. She could almost settle for anything right now. Even though that sounded completely unhealthy but she wanted to at least feel appreciated by someone like Theo. She had never felt this way about a person before. Not even with her last girlfriend.

This was something else. This was something...purer than she had ever felt before. Her experience with Lola didn't exactly help her already sceptical outlook on relationships. Since then she wasn't sure whether someone was looking across the room because she liked her or just wanted to get into her panties. She wanted to jump up in the air and do somersaults. She wanted to run up onto the roof and scream out to the sun. She wanted to get out of her seat, running into the kitchen and kiss Theo's cute face. She wanted to show the world that she didn't care what it would throw at her so long as she stayed within this moment. She never thought that she could ever be happier than she already had been and for some to just suddenly waltz into her life the way that she did astonished her beyond belief. Even if it was for a moment, she wanted to feel something between them. But she knew that she had to take things slowly. She didn't want to ruin things like last time. She didn't want to put herself through something like then and she didn't want to put Theo through something like that either. Her smile grew bigger, she couldn't believe that she had come to love someone like this over night. She turned to the door as she heard it open. Theo emerged with two plates steaming with pancakes. She had sprinkled sugar onto them. Xion knew they were going to be delicious. She looked up at her and stared into her violet eyes.

"Thank you." She breathed. She saw Theo blush and stare back at her. She quickly waved this off and told her it was alright.

She turned to Axel who was already stuffing his face and asked how they were. He nodded gratefully (or more like a 10-year-old boy gorging himself with sweets).

"It's delicious." He replied, his mouth still full.


	11. Summer Plans

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Eleven: Summer Plans

For **May All Your Bacon Burn**

"_Axel."_

_She finally decided to acknowledge him. She took her time even though she knew he was there all along. The redhead stood there, staring at her. He couldn't believe how much someone could be transformed in a matter of weeks. He had never been in love and what he saw standing before him now was the reason why he sometimes never allowed himself to fall in love with another person too much. Sometimes it could lead to self-destructive ends. This whole thing was ending up like a terrible version of Romeo and Juliet, except Juliet had failed to kill herself properly. For the sake of the seriousness of the situation he resisted rolling his eyes upon the thought. Emily Bronte would have been proud. Then again Theo looked like she had just walked out of Wuthering Heights herself. Her hair was wild, there were dark rings under her eyes and she was pale from her confinement from the sun. No longer was her hair shining and bouncy as it once was. Nor did she have that bright, warm glow she had for so many weeks due to the love which now took that brightness away. Or the sparkling eyes which always drifted in Xion's direction as soon as she walked into the room. He was shocked as to how much love could change someone, but he knew what heartbreak could do to human beings. He had seen it before in the one whom the lost soul who stood in front of him once loved and he suspected still did._

"_What happened Theo?" He asked finally, his voice croaky and shaken._

_She gave no reply._

~ (***) ~

Xion fidgeted in her seat as the thought was plaguing her mind to the point where she could think of nothing else but _her_. She even dreamed about her a couple of times. She grabbed a cushion and buried it into her face and moaned, earning her a few looks from the rest of the inhabitants of the room who had been fully conscious for at least the past hour. Despite the events of last night. Xion had gotten so drunk she couldn't remember herself. That was always a good and a bad sign. A good sign that you had a good time the night before and that you had succeeded in achieving in what you set out to do but bad because of what followed the morning after. (Larxene and Saix had come downstairs 20 minutes ago).

She peeked out from behind the cushion to see if Theo had had noticed her odd behaviour, she didn't want her thinking she was a nut case. She seemed preoccupied with reading a book at the moment in time. She had a faint smile on her face, the same sort of smile someone had when they didn't realise they were being watched while they were engrossed in their own little world. When they were reading something which spoke volumes in comparison to so many other lines which had been repeated over a thousands time and had now lost its meaning and originality. Thank goodness. She didn't want Theo to see her like this. That was always a good way to put someone off you completely. Soon enough though, when her break was over, she was then busy handing out plates of pancakes. She was oblivious to Xion's demonstrations of madness, thank goodness. She was too busy being as cute as she usually was. Smiling, laughing, being all round cheerful. Those words which she fell in love with so much was still lingering on in her mind. However she was nervous, she knew which every single glance she gave in her direction or every time Theo looked at her she knew she loved her. She was scared however as to how she would reply. She was afraid that once she began this relationship so passionately and impulsively that it may end as destructively as a car crashing against a brick wall.

She sighed and threw the cushion into her lap. Axel, who was reading the paper flicked through the pages.

"You know," He began in an absent-minded tone. "Mankind has evolved exponentially since the dawn of time but it's amazing that there are some that still continue to communicate through mumblings and groans or not to utter a syllable."

Xion glared in his direction. "Shut. Up."

"There you go!" He cried, throwing his arm in the air. "Now talking isn't that hard is it? Now you can go over there and ask her that question you've been dying to ask her over the past 24 hours?"

Xion continued to glare. "Don't. Rush. Me."

"What are you guys talking about?" Saix growled, his blue hair slightly emerging from the pile of cushions on his head with his bright green eyes leering out.

Before she could stop him, Axel answered him, "Xion has a thing for Namine's cousin and she's too hesitant to ask her out."

Saix gave a great sigh, taking one of the cushions and threw it in her direction. "Just what we need from you. More drama!"

Xion narrowed her eyes thinking that anyone else could have said this but would be unsuccessful in being even more hypocritical than Saix. He was going out with Demyx for a reason. Even though they weren't behaving like they were in some 1950s melodrama like Reno and Marlie they still had their moments. She also had to bear in mind that they had quite dramatic histories between the two of them as well. Just as Olive Penderghast stated in Easy A, every single novel the protagonist happened to be reading in their English Lit class just happened to draw parallels with the current events of their lives, except for Huckleberry Finn. Although as soon as you pointed out this fact someone you knew ran away from home with a hulking black guy. In this case the Huckleberry Finn of this tale just happened to be Saix. His dad was an alcoholic who dominated over the family and Saix knew if he came out the next thing he knew he would be receiving twenty blows from his fathers belt. His only option was what countless orphans did in Charles Dicken's novels when dumped with abusive relatives or adopted parents. Demyx came out to his parents but they sent him to some treatment facility in Texas which they believed would cure him of the 'gay demon' inside him. (They were religious nutters) and he ran away from there and had never been home since and to be frank despite the drama she didn't blame them.

Xion narrowly missed the target and snapped her head back, now glaring at Saix. "Well excuse me."

"She's had many opportunities as well." Axel added, raising his eyebrows. Saix said nothing, only shook his head.

"I'm not getting involved in this." Saix grumbled and pressed the cushion into his face.

"You're not getting involved in what, sweetie?" A voice as cheerful as a bell asked. They all looked up to see that it was Saix's boyfriend, Demyx who was the owner of the voice.

Saix only groaned a reply, Larxene was eating and not paying attention and Xion was unwilling to answer. Leaving Axel with the responsibility. He threw the paper down with a sigh and turned to Demyx.

"Xion likes Theo but she's afraid of coming on too strongly so she's waiting her time. In other words she going to try to survive the whole summer avoiding asking her out instead of trying to get over her evil ex-girlfriend."

Demyx tilted his head slowly and gave Xion a disapproving look which made her roll her eyes.

"Sweetie, you deserve much better than that horrible, bitchy, two-timing, slutty-"

Xion screwed her eyes shut and waved him away. "I get the idea."

She didn't exactly wanted to be reminded on her previous relationship at this precise moment, considering it was mainly the reason why she hadn't 'made a move' yet. She wasn't suspecting that Theo was going to be anything like _that _but she was afraid that she was going to end up hurting her because of what happened to Xion. Sometimes when you dragged someone else through your old problems they could end up getting dirty themselves. It took away all the reasons why you wanted to be with them and then everything vanished completely. End of relationship. Also she didn't want him going into details. Throughout her relationship with 'the-slut-who-shall-not-be-named' she went into excessive detail with their 'casual' meetings since that was really the only thing which their relationship consisted of. Even though deep down she hoped it was something more than that. If there was one thing she could at least say that she got out of that relationship it was that she knew more about..._that _than she did at the beginning. If there was any way of putting it without making a distasteful sexual innuendo was that she was practically a virgin in comparison to when she left her. And physically she wasn't a virgin to begin with.

"You deserve a nice girl like Theo, she is really adorable. I would've had no idea that she was gay if Namine or Larxene hadn't told me." He said in a surprised voice and her put his boyfriends head in his lap and began to stroke his head.

"Yeah, she is so un-gay." Larxene commented with her mouth full of pancakes.

"Except when she's making eyes at Xion." Axel purred, shaking his shoulders a bit. Xion narrowed her eyes at him.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

Axel wriggled his shoulder, wagged his eyebrows and chuckled. "Ohhhhh yeah."

Demyx threw his hands in the air. "Well there you go, you have your confirmation." He cried, then pointed towards the kitchen. "Go get her."

"I was going to ask her out but make it out to be like a group thing first until it got to the stage where we could be together. Alone."

"In other words she wants to go at a slow enough pace so that she doesn't official ask her out." Axel sang.

"SHUT UP AXEL!" Xion roared just as Theo re-entered the room looking bewildered.

Everyone was silent for a few moments, glancing between Theo and Xion. Theo finally broke the silence.

"Does anyone want more pancakes?"


	12. Summer Days

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Twelve: Summer Days

For **talkstoangels77**

"_Theo."_

_Nothing._

"_Theo say something. Answer me. What happened to you? Where have you gone?"_

_Nothing. She said nothing. Only silence._

~ (***) ~

Theo took solace in the kitchen after she gave everyone more pancakes, feeling somewhat confused by Xion's sudden outburst. She couldn't help but think that she was the cause of it for some reason. She couldn't think of any reason why it should have been caused by anyone else. Everyone had told her that Xion was more of a mellow person who very rarely got angry. She put another blob of butter into the frying pan and waited a few more moments to put some more pancake mix into the pan. She hoped cooking would calm her thoughts a little. She always found cooking therapeutic in a way. Her father was the cook in the house, her mother never had enough time but Theo would always come into the kitchen and over the years had learnt a thing or two about the trade. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lesson in trying to figure out if food could be used as a peace treaty between two parties. She was considering taking the next batch to some people upstairs, then again she imagined that there would probably be more people in the living room next time she went in there.

She hoped Namine would be back from her walk or whatever otherwise she would miss the pancakes, or be obligated to go on until she came back. She was her cousin after all and she knew it was her idea to invite her her. Not to say that Larxene wasn't the generous type, she just knew that the first thought that wouldn't pop up in her head in response to what she had recently been through was to invite her to the summer house to introduce her to a house of strangers as a way to make her feel better. For all Namine knew it could have been a complete disaster. Then she would use up all the supplies they had and then she would have to get some more. That would be a barrel of fun, unless she could get the courage to get someone to go out and buy some for her since she knew that sooner or later she was going to run out of some fast. The whole situation threw her mind into a frenzy. She took in a deep breath and poured a moderate amount of the mix into the frying pan and continued with the task at hand. She looked down and sighed, trying to take her mind off that. Although a split second later she began to wonder again what it was that was bothering Xion. She was sure that it was something that Axel, considering that was who is was being aimed at. She had to admit, as much as she loved him, even though she hardly knew him, she could see _how _he could get to people sometimes.

He usually said things which aggravated people but not that much. Not from what she could see anyway and most of this was hearsay from other people in the house who knew him better than she did. Well, things he said to her never aggravated her but then again she kind of liked Axel's care-free personality. Then again she had only known him for a day, when she would get to know him she would probably be able to understand the whole situation. Still, the whole thing puzzled her as well as troubled her. Xion seemed like such a calm, relaxed person who was sure of herself. So sure of herself that she wouldn't need to have such outbursts. She was the sort of person who could either accept something or take things which a pinch of salt. Not someone who would take things so seriously. She was hoping that it wasn't something which was going to make the summer any harder for everyone to enjoy. There was nothing worse than teen angst to ruin a holiday, or to make it a cliché anyway. However the truth of it all was that she was worried if Xion was alright.

She groaned and banged her head on the side. This was something which annoyed her more. Much, much, much, much more. Why had she suddenly become so attracted to a girl she barely knew overnight? Let alone on first sight. She couldn't think of anything more irrational or more illogical for her to do. Or for anyone to do in general. It was something that never came from a rational thought wave. If anyone did anything like that it was always something that was based on sex for the most part of the relationship and if this came to anything it would be a summer affair. No matter how close the universities were to each other. So if anything bad did happen between them it would make things all the more awkward. Not to mention that she was friends with her cousin as well. She went back to that image and smiled at the relaxed posture of the dark haired girl. Her eyes sparkling in the sun. She let out another groan again and threw her head against the door. She didn't know how she got herself into this mess. She knew if her parents were here she would be able to hear from the voice of reason opposed to the slim chance of that happening in the house of madness and arson. She stepped back in pain hoping that no one on the other side of the door heard her. She rubbed her head and pulled a face to herself. She called out that she had dropped something. Nothing to worry about.

She always thought it was such a cliché, except for her first experience with a woman, whose name she didn't even know. All she referred her to was the-girl-from-across-the-street-who-was-only-staying-for-the-fall. If you thought about it those were the things that only happened in films, trashy novels or fan fiction **(A/N:*cough-cough*)** Other than that, she never really had those feelings where you were so happy you felt like you wanted to fly or felt like your heart had been set on fire. She could remember the girl who helped her more or less realise that she was gay. But she never made her feel like this. She knew she was just a stepping stone. Her fairy godmother. She scratched the back of her neck thoughtfully. She had never had this conversation with her mother (then again atypical conversations between mother and daughter about romance usually contained the mention of a boy, so would become quite uncomfortable when the gender of the persons were a girl) and the idea of having the conversation about women with her Dad was just weird, not to mention icky. She didn't want to imagine what sort of stories he would start recollecting about his romance with her mother.

"Hey." Said a voice from the door. She spun round to find Xion peered through the door with a concerned expression on her face.

"You alright in here?" She asked hesitantly. Theo nodded wordlessly, staring at the beautiful, dark but messy haired girl. But she loved her messy hair.

_Youloveher, youloveher, youloveher. _The little voice in her head chanted.

_Shutup, shutup, shutup, shutup. _She replied.

"We heard a crash." Xion replied. Theo laughed and waved her hand carelessly, blushing.

"I told you I dropped something."

Xion held onto the door hand now, hand on hip and narrowed her eyes at Theo. "Uh-huh. Yeah I think I'm going to have to assignment myself as your helper if you're going to be stubborn."

"But-"

"No but's I'm helping. Everyone else in there is being lazy and terribly rude for not coming in here and helping you make these pancakes. Especially since they're so delicious they could at least come in here and say thank you." She grumbled as she put an apron on.

Theo stared at her for the whole duration of the speech, still blushing. She didn't expect that. She knew for a fact now that she had been not only acting but thinking like an idiot. Someone who hated you didn't come in an deliver a speech/thank you like that. In fact, was blushing more than before when she first came or on other occasion they had been in the same room together. She couldn't believe someone was standing up for her even she she didn't feel she needed someone to. Even at a moment when she didn't someone to stand up for her. She liked to think in those last few weeks of high school when she had no one to lean on and had to go one by herself had hardened her a little. It was almost laughable. She also couldn't believe she was being in such a bad mood and really with her being in the middle of it was something that shocked her as well. She didn't seem to be the sort of person who did this very often. She tilted her head and could see that Xion was having trouble with doing this. Was there something else that was on her mind? Was there another reason why she was saying this to her? It more ways than less she was a bit like a feminized version of Axel. There had to be something stirring her up. First shouting at Axel, now this. There was definitely something weird going on.

She peered at her meekly as she stirred the pancake mix, with Xion on frying pan duty. She observed her facial features which seemed stressed and frustrated. She looked like she wanted to set the frying pan aflame with her eyes. Her posture was strained and stiff. She was distracted, it was something that had recently, at least since she had arrived. That was it. It was Theo. Her blood suddenly went cold, what was it that she had done? Was it something else? Was she just jumping to conclusions? She couldn't help but feel a little bit vain to presume that it had something to do with her. She couldn't think of anything that she could've done which would make her mad at her. Maybe something that happened at the party? That would be something that she wouldn't be able to remember and most likely when it would've happened. She stopped mixing and placed the bowl down. She laid her hands on the side and put her head down. Take a moment. Breathe in. Breathe out. Nope. That didn't help. She wanted to groan but of course there was Xion standing right next to her and she didn't want to her bother her any further. Just her luck a girl she likes and she hates her. Even after a few hours of knowing her.

Xion glanced at Theo for a moment and saw her. She stopped paying attention to the frying pan and reached out to Theo.

"Theo?"

Theo gasped out of surprise. Xion looked concerned, Theo looked distressed. Xion spoke again.

"Theo what's wrong?"

Theo struggled to let the words out but all her lips could do was quiver. "I'm sorry." She burst out.

"I'm sorry I annoyed you or offended you in some way. I didn't mean to especially if it was something I did last night. I really, really am sorry!"


	13. Summer Blues

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Thirteen: Summer Blues

For **Sleep Walking Chicken**

"_Theo you have to answer me!"_

_Theo turned back to Axel. His bright green eyes were desperate and distressed. She frowned slightly, she had never seen him like this. He was always so happy. So happy. He was never worried. He was never upset over anyone, because he had no one to get upset over. Now, everything changed. Once Xion left this world everything had become unbalanced. It was because she was still here. There could never be a time when Xion and Theo lived or existence in two separate worlds. They had to be together, otherwise everything would wither and decay. He was looking at Theo as if she was a ghost or even worse. One that was still living and accepted her passive state, which was the truth. She smiled, she was getting closer to Xion's world. Instead of this being a warning this was a message of good news. She was getting closer. The only sign she would know she was going now was when she would begin to see her. Even in broad daylight, it wouldn't have to be at night. She was never something of the night, always the light. That was what she had become and it was something that she had come to accept. She preferred to being a ghost rather than someone who forgot and put things behind her. It made it easier for her able to pass on, only she could hope for a painless death unlike Xion. How are you to respect the dead if you carry on living as if they were not there or as if they never were there?_

"_What happened?" She asked in a mocking tone. "A lot of things happened. Xion died. That was what happened."_

_Her voice was cold, which made Axel's blood turn to ice and thunder all at once._

"_Yes I was there." He replied shaking with anger. "So don't act like I haven't be hurt either Theo. You barely knew her, you only knew her a month." He spat._

_The words shot a bullet through Theo's heart. It made it beat after so many weeks of nothingness. They almost brought her back. Her eyes, filled with thunderous threat and petrifying coldness she replied._

"_I knew her enough."_

~ (***) ~

Xion blinked at her outburst. This was certainly something which came out of the blue. She was staring right out her with her fists clenched so tightly that her knuckles were going white. During the out pour she glanced at the door hoping that no one was going to come storming in, demanding what was going on. Larxene would be more concerned about when she was going to get her next batch of pancakes rather than if there was something wrong with her, which said something for how much Larxene actually cared about other people, even her own family. She turned back to Theo with confusion clouding her eyes. What was she talking about? What signs had she given off to say that she was mad at her? She was showing symptoms of quite the opposite, despite her efforts in hiding them. Many people had noted that her feelings for Theo were quite obvious. She was surprised that she had been able to get away with it for this long. Come to think about, Xion had always been an open book about those sorts of things. She stared down at Theo, who looked like she was about to cry. She placed her hands on her shoulders, hoping that she wasn't going to recoil from her or whether that this was becoming to too intimate. Then again she had already hugged so she wasn't sure whether there was any logic in her line of thinking just then.

"Hey. Hey. Where did this come from? Theo? I'm not mad at you. Why do you think this?" She asked, almost trying to laugh. It was only to cheer her up.

Theo sniffed and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know...I guess you seemed more upset ever since I arrived...I thought I had something to do with it and if that's true I'm sorry."

"Look, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's not you. It's just everyone else and...I've been thinking about my ex recently and she's not a particular subject I like to dwell on." She murmured.

Theo blinked at the sudden wave of sadness which passed across Xion's face and timidly reached out to touch her.

"What happened? With your ex-girlfriend, I mean." She asked hesitantly, still being able to look her in the eye.

Xion looked at her with some fear clouding her vision. She turned back to the pancakes and almost seemed like she wasn't going to answer.

"When I was about 17 I met a girl called Lola. She was nice...at first anyway. She was much older than me, about 10 years old. Sometimes I wonder what got into me dating a woman that much older than me. Anyway, it was alright for a couple of months and I actually thought that we were always going to be together. Then something happened. One day on her birthday I was going to surprise her and just appear there with a present. When I knocked on the door there was no answer. I had a spare set of keys and let myself in. Then I went up the stairs, everything seemed so quite and then I heard voices upstairs. I thought someone had broken in so I was going to go and scare them off or something I don't know. Anyway as I got closer I realised it was women's voice then as I got even closer I recognised Lola's voice. I pushed the door open to her bedroom and I found her there with another woman. It turned out to be someone from her work and that she was eventually going to tell me. Then I started shouting so fucking much. More than I ever had done and then that got her angry. The other woman found it hilarious. Then Lola started making fun of me. Calling me petty. Pathetic. Immature. She...She took my virginity and she started saying all those sorts of things to me. I couldn't...I haven't been able to date anyone ever since."

When Xion finally stopped talking she felt like she had thrown off a heavy backpack and finished a mountain walk. She felt so tired now that she had let that all out. Everything now seemed clear despite that her eyes were being stung by tears. The only other person who knew about these details was Axel. Strangely enough, he was the only one who she could trust with these details. Despite the constant bantering that went on between them, he was still only the person she knew she could trust with this kind of thing. Underneath the glitz and glamour was a warm, loyal friend who was willing to help you through anything. Everyone else only knew that she had only known her to date another person but not the details of the break-up. She made Axel swear that she told no one because she didn't want anyone's pity or anyone such as Larxene to go after her and beat Lola up. Also it was partially out of shame that she allowed this to happen to her. She didn't want to be the charity case of the group. She had still loved her at that point, it became tempting a few months after when she got into the hateful phase. Now she was in the period where she was still hung up on her but really, really wanted to get over her. It was ever since Theo walked into her life and a spark of hope suddenly appeared however there was still the obstacle of Lola still lingering in her mind. Telling her that she was never capable of being happy with anyone.

Waiting for Theo's reaction was like someone gradually pulling out her intestine. It was slow and painful and, more than anything you wanted it over and down with as quickly as possible. She was so desperate to know what she thought of her after she knew the truth. Even if it was something which didn't exactly give her the most favourable results. She couldn't stand being left in suspension for much longer. She couldn't tell her how much she wanted to tell her about Lola. She must've thought of her as being so brave and so strong and now Xion was as soft as a marshmallow. She was just as vulnerable and screwed up as the rest of them. She had been hurt as much or if not more than Theo had been in those last few weeks of high school. Before Xion would even be able to have a shot at it, she would now be able to know at least how it would've turned out before all the heartbreak. Theo's face seemed so still and calm. She didn't look pitiful, repulsed nor angry. Her expression was completely, utterly absent of judgement. That was the sort of expression a man or woman convicted of murder would die for to hear their last testament or confession. She was making up her mind before she would give her any sign of what she might think of her. She knew from her sensitivity and determination that Theo was the kind of person she needed. If it wasn't for romantic purposes at least she could be a shoulder to cry on.

"Don't believe her." She whispered.

Xion looked up and blinked. "What?"

Theo shook her head with a grim smile on her face. "You shouldn't be letting yourself believe those things she said to you. I mean...A hell of a lot of people said some nasty things to me over the past few weeks and I could've let those things get me down. Instead I let them build me up. I didn't let them get to me because that's what they wanted. Not what I wanted. So don't let yourself believe her any more. Alright?"

Xion smiled and nodded. She was expecting more of a hug or something from Theo. She was more of the huggy type. Although from what she had told her, it was more than obvious that she learnt the hard way that hugs and chocolate didn't always solve everything. Even though she was much younger than her and hard a lot more to learn from life she could still tell that her words spoke volumes above her actual age. When you went through experiences such as Theo's or Xion's you had to grow up pretty quickly in order to get through it. The smile soon vanished and she looked down at the floor, immersing herself in the thoughts buzzing around in her mind. For all she knew she could just be saying this to her with no intention of wanting to be with her. These sorts of things were the sort of lines which could be easily rehearsed from everyone's favourite TV show. She wasn't saying that she genuinely meant what she said, she just had a feeling that she shouldn't be getting her hopes up because of it. Theo glanced over her shoulder every now and then with the same still face she had when she listened to Xion. At first she thought it was because she was feeling a little bit self-conscious about this conversation but then saw that she made a new batch and went to the door to deliver them to the hungry customers outside waiting. Before she pushed the door open she stopped and looked back at Xion.

"Remember what I said."

Xion made no response. She just smiled again. A relieved smile. She was pretty sure now that from the meaningful look in her eyes that she did care about her. A little bit. Enough. They stared at each other for long to get people to start shouting at the door, wondering or more demanding when the next batch of pancakes were going to arrive. Theo looked poked her head around the door before turning back to Xion with an amused look on her face. There was another meaningful look which was passed between them before she threw herself to the lions. Theo nodded to herself and re-entered the lounge to find some more people had woken up and therefore had first dibs. However after there being one left over it was decided who shouted the loudest which was consequently Axel. She edged over to him through the out-stretched hands trying to stop her. She leant over, so that he could feel her breath on her face.

"She told me everything." She whispered.

He looked up, knowing what she was talking about and blinked with surprise. "Really?"

She nodded. "Well, that's the first step, I suppose." He mused.


	14. Summertime

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Fourteen: Summertime

For **orgymoogle**

_Axel shivered. He never felt the cold. He was never easily scared but for every moment that he stared into Theo's eyes he was becoming increasingly scared. He wasn't scared for himself, but he was scared for Theo. He was scared because he was afraid that this might be the last time he might see her alive. The corridor was cold, Axel could feel it but Theo couldn't. She had gotten used to the cold, it helped numb the pain. She had been cold for so long she couldn't seem to tell. She couldn't even remember what if felt like to have the sun on her skin. She could remember what it was like when she would lie on the lawn of her cousin's summer house. Her eyes looked so dead, Axel couldn't help but stare at her. Even if it scared the shit out of him. Once when he was dating an older man he had been sent to a mental institute in the times when people were sent there for being gay and said that being there almost completely sucked out his soul. Thank goodness that when he was submitted that they soon stopped accepting it as a mental disease. Although it was a little difficult to compare it to this situation since Theo and his ex had been sent to an institute for completely different reasons. Still the effect of being there was the same, regardless of your reason for being there. Both of them stood there silently staring at each other. Axel knew how much Xion meant to Theo, even if she hadn't known her for nearly as long as he knew her._

_Sometimes love made you do stupid things. Sometimes you could love someone more than you realised. It only took her death for Theo to realise that. He felt like he should resent her for that but that was stopped by him pitying her for it even more. However he understood that they both desperately needed one another. After all the turmoil they had both been through the both needed each other to get through the world again. Axel wasn't the one trying to kill himself but he had lost himself a best friend. He needed to talk to someone about it and no one was going to understand more than Theo. She just wasn't ready to listen yet. Both of them were about to give up on trying until they met. Just as long as they were hand in hand and facing the world they were capable of doing anything. They were invincible. He remembered what that felt like. It was the first time he slept with a man when he felt like that. That was their gift and their tragedy, because the young think they are invincible they aren't mindful of what is ahead. He was sad for Xion after what had happened to her. But he was sadder for Theo, knowing that Xion came across as her little miracle. The one that she had always been waiting for in her relatively short life. Still, he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He had lost the same way she had._

"_I know who you feel, sweetie. You don't have to suffer alone like this. There are people here who are still willing to help you get through this." He reached out to touch her arm but she stepped back._

"_Then why did my parents lock me up here?" She demanded._

"_Honey, you tried to kill yourself twice. You need to..."_

"_I need to what?" Her eyes were widened. They were threatening._

"_You need to...you need to heal."_

_She smirked grimly and walked up to him so that they were almost nose to nose if they were the same height and said through gritted teeth. _

_"You mean cured."_

~ (***) ~

"Oh man look at the weather." Marluxia moaned, staring out the window forlornly, where is was pouring down and thundering frighteningly.

A tropical rainstorm. Reno wrapped an arm around his waist in an attempt to comfort his boyfriend.

"Darling, its fine. The rain will pass." He cooed in his ear, nibbling it slightly causing Marluxia to giggle. Axel rolled his eyes at his brother and his boyfriend.

"Can you two honestly give it a rest?" He moaned throwing his head back as inhaled some smoke. Marluxia coughed and waved his hand across his face.

"Could you please take that outside?" He retorted in a frustrated tone.

He put it out in an ash trap and sighed, wagging his head from side to side. "Alrighty then. I'll put it out if you two stop being so lovely-dovey."

"Someone's jealous." Reno sang with a smirk on his face. "Since someone hasn't got a boyfriend."

"Oh shove off." He almost roared.

Axel was happy for his brother in finding someone who loved him as much as he loved them. Honestly he was. People thought he was a man-whore but they should have seen what Reno was like before he met Marlie. He was practically hooking up with multiple guys each night we went out. Being every single night and it wasn't even one man a night, at the very least it was three. He remembered the first time he took him out when Axel came out to their parents. After that one night with his brother he was almost scared back into the closet. When he got to his senses he was resolved to not be as promiscuous as his brother. In the end it actually almost got him into trouble. When he hooked up with a guy who just happened to be taken his boyfriend caught them making out and chased him out of the club. Just when he was about to pick up another guy he caught him with a bunch of other people and beat him up pretty badly. When he almost about to rape him that was when Marlie came on the scene. He-She was just walking by in the sparkliest outfit known to man and started hitting them, pretty hard he might add, with her-his (no one was really sure what gender they should prescribe to Marlie anymore) handbag and even started kicking him with his high heels. Marlie took Reno back to his place and cleaned him up. Reno begged to repay him and offered to take him out for a meal. After a few more occasions they became an item.

A spikey haired girl came jumping down the stairs and skipping into the room. "Hey. Me and Theo are thinking of going to the cute café in the town. Who's in?"

Axel threw his hand in the air. "I am!"

"Alright." Marluxia sighed. "There seems to be nothing better to do anyway."

Xion put a hand on her waist and raised her eyebrow. "Marlie stop being such a drama queen you don't have to come if you don't want to."

"No. I do, it's just this weather is dampening my spirits. You know me. I'll come to support you. Won't we, Reno?" Reno nodded giving her a knowing look. Xion turned to Axel, glaring at him who gave her an innocent look.

"It's wasn't just me. You're mooning has caught everyone's attention. People asked questions, they knew I had the answers."

Xion threw her head back and screamed at the ceiling, making the other three throw back their heads and laugh.

A few days after the outbreak of emotion, Xion and Theo they had become increasingly closer by each second that they spent with one another. They seemed closer than sisters, best friends, husband and wife. Maybe not husband and wife. That was taking a bit far actually. They hadn't even got in the serious stage. Axel could see from observing them for afar that something greater than that was at work. He smirked wondering about whether they realised that they were being intently watched by the rest of the houses inhabitants. Namine was particularly interested in the progress of their relationship. Both Namine and Axel knew that it would only take a few more days for the deal to be finalised. All the lesbian couples in the house agreed that it would be only be a matter of time and could tell that they liked each other the the moment they first saw them together. Axel didn't know whether it was right to rule of the assumptions of those who weren't lesbians but he had to just take their word for it considering that they had personal experience on the matter. Still he felt that there was something morally wrong with this form of generalisation. Even he could tell that they liked each other even if they hadn't told him. They spent almost all their time together, they always went off together on walks. The question was whether they had admitted it to each other.

"Sweetheart, you know she likes you, but since you don't want to come on too strongly we're going to be your babysitters on your first date with your future misses."

"Shut up. Shut. Up." This reaction made them laugh even more. "Oh God, I'm going to go check on Theo."

"Knock before you go in. She could be getting changed." Marluxia called over her shoulder as Xion stomped up the stairs.

However didn't have to as when she walked down the corridor Theo came out in the cutest preppy outfit. She put on a crisp, light blue striped shirt under a navy blue and brown blazer and velvet brown knee length shorts with a pair of black converse.

"Look at you. That's cute, really suits you."

Theo giggled meekly. "Thanks. Namine can't come but Yuffie and Kairi are coming."

"Cool. Marluxia and Reno are coming. So are Axel. So I guess..." Xion hesitated for a moment till they were interrupted by Yuffie and Kairi bounded by the corridor.

"Hey guys! Are we going?" She cried. Xion turned back to Theo gazing at her intensely and then gave a quick nod to the other two.

"Yeah. Marluxia, Reno and Axel are probably waiting downstairs so..."

"Okies!" Yuffie cried grabbing Kairi by the hand and dragged her downstairs.

Xion turned back to Theo and laughed. "Those two are crazy."

Theo nodded. "Yeah. A bit to obvious though. They could at least pretend to be normal, then again, what's the point in doing that?"


	15. Summer Afternoons

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Fifteen: Summer Afternoons

For **May All Your Bacon Burn**

_Roxas looked out onto the beautiful sunset as he walked to the evening group session. He remembered back home that he would walk over a hill and that he would be able to see for miles. Sometimes when he came home late he would be able to catch the sunset upon these hills. The sun would sink behind them glowing in the horizon. The sky was a sand yellow-orange mixed with an almost white yellow and dark browns. Just like today. He had been at the hospital for a while though. It had been a while since he had seen those hills again. It sometimes felt like he had been there for so long that he felt had almost lived there his whole life. He had been there for long enough to know that there were plenty of people here who were never going to get out, ones who had a chance and others who shouldn't to be there. You could spot them from a mile away. If you had been there long enough that is. Sometimes people knew from the moment when they arrived as to who went under those categories. He wasn't a pessimist he was just realistic. Once you lived in a place like this you got to the point where things were blindingly obvious you couldn't help but think about it. He still wasn't sure though which category he went under. He had been sent there after trying to commit suicide due to a lengthy period of depression. Another thing you had to get used to was to be very upfront about things like that._

_He couldn't tell which day it was when it all began. It was never as sudden as other claimed it was with their situations. It was a very gradual thing, which was how it really was most of the time. You didn't just feel like killing yourself all so suddenly. Everything slowly became greyer and greyer until it became almost unbearable. He was going to admit to it. He tried to kill himself because he was bored. He was bored with his mundane life because even though he was nothing like his father he knew he was going to end up like him and it wasn't the life he wanted. The tragic thing of it all was that he put on a show to hide all these emotions. He did well in school and sports. He was a great artist and was going to study that at college. He had plenty of friends and so on. He even openly declared his homosexuality and accepted it when some of friends rejected him and the others who didn't. Everything was fine up until the day came when life seemed too bland and dull that he wanted to leave it. His mother had found him and rushed him to hospital. The hospital psychiatrist diagnosed him as being chronically suicidal due to spending only a few sessions with him which he felt was a bit much but still. So his parents sent him straight here instead of college. Ten months later here he was..._

_He didn't make many friends here. It wasn't that he hated any of them it was just that none of them wanted to talk. It was either that all they wanted to talk about was why they were here or they were too distant about why they had ended up in the state they were in. There was no clear balance between the two. It was impossible for him to have a friend here, only just a fellow inmate. He tended to drift away from most people because of this, except he was quite curious about one of the new arrivals. However this was a bit of a liberty to take on the term 'new arrival' considering she had been here over a month. However since not many people came here, thank goodness, she was considered a new arrival. Her name was Theodora. She always sat in the corner by herself, looking out the window. She was more distant than he was but he knew there was some sad story dwelling in those eyes of hers. Something which stretched further down the line than the event which brought her to this place. She never wanted to go to the meetings where people would open up about their feelings. She never wanted to interact with anyone. She hardly ever made a fuss and only made a few attempts on her life during her stay. Other than that she didn't seem all that noticeable. But Roxas couldn't help but be curious about her. Everyone knew why others were in here but no one knew her story._

_He briskly walked down the corridor knowing that he was late for the next meeting. He didn't need to go really. It was only for people who needed to talk and he knew that he had said enough now. He had told his story. He had shared his feelings on the matter. He had resolved them. He had even been told by many people here that it was probably time for him to go home, but he had a feeling that he wasn't finished with this place yet. There was something else that was keeping him here. He picked up the pace but didn't run knowing that a second later a nurse would appear, give him the 411 on health and safety for half an hour making him more late than he already was, which would then lead to someone coming up to him tomorrow questioning where he was at the meeting. As he walked around the corner he saw her standing with a redhead. They seemed to be deep in conversation. Some people would think that they were boyfriend and girlfriend but they were too far away from each other to be that. They were good friends. He could see that much. It wasn't hopeful thinking since for all he knew the redhead may not have been gay. He was one of the tallest guys he had ever seen and the brightest green eyes. He stood there his mouth agape at him. Then shook his head and turned back to Theodora. He knew that unless he didn't say anything it could become potentially awkward if they found him staring at them._

"_Hey Theo." He greeted._

_Her eyes snapped in his direction and looked him up and down. Of course she wouldn't know who he was. He gulped but knew he had to keep going._

"_You...going to the meeting?" He asked conversationally._

_She narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms. She opened her mouth to say something until Axel interrupted her._

"_Hi." He smiled and stepped forward with his arm outstretched. "I'm Axel a friend of Theo's. I didn't know she made any friends here."_

"_Oh I just know her. I'm Roxas." He replied._

"_Huh. I might have to call you Roxy, since you're such a cute little thing." He cooed pinching his cheek._

_Okay this guy is so gay, Roxas thought to himself._

"_So are you coming?" He asked._

"_No." She replied darkly._

_Roxas smiled grimly and nodded. "Okay."_

_And walked away. As he did he was hoping that in the near future he might get to know her and see Axel again..._

~ (***) ~

The two couples, the potential couple and the plus one decided to take a seat on the balcony under the summer sun since it had finally stopped raining. That was irony for you, as soon as you got inside it stopped raining. The rest of the customers were probably wondering what got them so wet. The seats had a wonderful view of the gardens below which reminded Theo of her Grandmother's garden which she was dedicated to after her passing. Theo's Grandfather spent all his time now making sure that the place was a credit to the woman that it was dedicated to. She hoped one day that she would find someone who loved her enough to give her a garden after she died. She glanced at Xion who smiled at her shyly and turned back to the menu quickly where Theo's smile then faltered. Despite the beautiful scenery this didn't stop Marluxia from complaining about the weather. He was now annoyed about the fact that it had become sunny all of a sudden and that they could've gone on the picnic that they planned. All they could have done was waited for the rain to stop. Then Axel pointed out that even if they did that the grass would be wet and then Marlie would have something else to complain about, as always. This then set Reno off since his brother was now criticising his boyfriend. Theo and Xion glanced at each with the same look of contempt on their faces.

They both turned back to the menu hoping that the noise would soon die down. Although since Marlie was one of the people within that conversation that was highly doubtful. The truth of the matter was that they were going to go on a picnic later on in the summer but Marlie was just the kind of person who liked to constantly complain about things. Axel sometimes wondered about his brother's taste in boyfriends but never really voiced his concerns as he knew that his opinions would only ever be noted then forgotten. Then again he could see why his brother was dating Marlie. They were pretty similar in terms of temperament but also the circumstances that they met was something else to consider as well. Marlie, in his own special way, saved his life in more ways than one. It also wasn't worth entering into an argument about it. Besides his attentions were turned to the potential couple. Xion and Theo were sat rather close to one another, their heads bent close to one another as if sharing a secret under their hushed voices. He glanced conspiratorially at Yuffie and Kairi who both smirked at they looked in the direction of the soon to be girlfriend and girlfriend. It was now coming to the point where the only people who didn't know about their feelings was each other which really baffled the others since they were both reasonably intelligent people and also had their fair share of common sense.

"So what do you think?" Xion asked meekly. She had been watching Theo glance around the quaint, old fashioned café with a child-like wonder which made her find Theo even more adorable.

"I love it." She answered. "I wish there was somewhere like this back home."

"Where do you live exactly, I can't remember the name of the town. I'm sorry I sound like I pay no attention to what people say or act like I don't give a shit." She stuttered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while she looked down at the floor.

Theo giggled and shook her head. "Traverse Town. It's more or less industrialised but thank goodness we live on the outskirts so we live in the rural-ish area. I'd hate to live in the city."

"A country girl." Xion replied with a small smile.

"Since birth." Theo returned.

"So why isn't there any café's like this if you live somewhere like that?" Xion asked with a frown.

"It's a very small, rural area. I don't think people see the point in having some there when only ten houses in the area."

"Fair enough."

Theo continued to stare at her, leaning her head against her fist. She was in love with Xion. She knew that now. It was official. She was sure everyone else there and at the house knew that she was in love with her. She wasn't exactly subtle since she had no experience in being infatuated with someone. She wanted to jump onto the table and scream it to the heavens. She didn't care if people would stare at her life she was an escapee from a mental asylum. She was sure that the others wouldn't be weirded out. Axel would cheer her on followed by Marlie coming up on the table and joining her. She loved the way her hips swayed from side to side when she walked. She loved how she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in the sort of way like Xion looked like she was going to click her fingers. She loved the colour of her eyes and how it reminded her of her of the ocean on a beautiful summers day. She remembered when she was a little girl and she wanted to run into the waves so much when she looking at it from a distance in the car. Instead of feeling scared of falling deeply into Xion's eyes she felt like she did when she was a little girl all those years ago and run into them. She loved her laugh, to her it sounded like the classical music her mother listened to at times when she needed inspiration. When her eyes drifted to her face, which was often, she would stare at her lips, desperate to kiss them at least once.

"So what do you do?" She purred.

Xion blinked and leaned forward. "Sorry?"

"What do you do at college?"

"Oh. Psychology."

"That's cool. I was thinking of doing that but I wanted to do Literature since I was a little girl."

"Following in your father's footsteps." Theo nodded. "I can just see you by a window writing your classical masterpieces which will be remembered forever."

Theo blushed. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful."

Xion loved how she blushed. She didn't look like a beetroot but her moonlit skin went a pale pink like a rose. Some people never looked cute when they blushed. She loved her night black hair and how her figure was so slim and lean like a willow tree but wasn't that tall. She was a baby willow tree. Her baby willow tree. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and hold her in an embrace which went beyond going lifelong. She had a feeling that this story, these memories would be as rooted to the ground as securely as a willow tree. She loved how she talked about her passions as if she was talking about a long lost friend or relative. The previous night she was talking about her favourite novelists and books. She threw her arms about, jumped on chairs it was almost like she was talking about a fun night out. No one could do that when they were talking about novels. Her father must've been an amazing author to have produced a child who would come to love it so passionately. Xion made a mental note to go to the book store the next time she could and buy one of his novels. Or borrow one from Sora or Riku. She was sure that they would have one lying around somewhere. She yearned more to read any of the lines Theo had written which were yet to be read by the rest of the world. She could see that there were a million stories in that girl's mind waiting to come alive.

"Where is it you're going to studying?"

"Hopefully Twilight University."

"You're kidding. Kairi and Marlie's there too."

"OOOH!" Marlie clapped his hands. "I can't wait to take you to the university bar!" Kairi jumped up and down in her seat with an equal amount of excitement.

"Oh great what are you studying?" Theo asked, glad that she knew someone at the college she was going to.

"Communications. I want to be like Samantha off Sex and the City."

"You already are like Samantha off Sex and the City." Axel muttered.

"Now, now Axel." His brother chided. "Just because you're jealous."

"I'm at Twilight Republic so we more or less hang out together most of the time. Hopefully I'll be seeing you there a lot."

"Absolutely." Theo promised.


	16. Summer Evenings

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Sixteen: Summer Evenings

For **XenvraeXIII**

"_Cold much?"_

_Theo looked up at Axel blankly. She had almost forgotten that he was there. "Sorry?"_

"_You seemed quite cold towards Roxy just now."_

_Theo raised her eyebrow however her face remained emotionless and blank. "You're already giving him a nickname?"_

"_Oh please," Axel groaned as he sat down and stretched his legs. "I haven't been a relationship for months allow me some flirtations with the mental health patients."_

"_Actually I beginning to doubt whether he should even be here." Theo replied. "He seems relatively normal and less psychotic than the rest of us."_

_Axel frowned. "Really? Well I do suppose he seemed friendly enough. He seems nice, Theo. You should make friends with him."_

"_Why? So I can find out all his secrets and the ways for you to get into bed with him."_

_Axel shook his head and chuckled. "No. Well not completely. But you need a friend in here, Theo. You need someone to make you feel normal, happy. I know you think it best that you stay here but," He shook his head. "But you really don't. You shouldn't make this place your home. You're wasting your life here and that is certainly not what Xion would've wanted."_

_Theo went cold at the mention of her name. She went deathly pale and slowly turned to Axel._

"_How the hell do you know what she wanted?" She replied in an emotionless voice. There was no trace of hatred in her voice._

"_I just know. I think you know too but you just want to keep on denying it."_

"_Why would I want to deny any part of her?"_

"_You aren't denying any part of her, you're just denying yourself any form of happiness along with someone out there who could make you happy along with you making them happy. I think it's pretty selfish actually. Locking yourself up in here, dying like this when many people in here would kill for the amount of sanity in that little head of yours."_

_Theo smiled darkly. "How do you know that I'm sane?"_

"_You're mistaking your sadness for insanity."_

"_I'm depressed." She insisted._

_He shook his head. "We're all depressed. We were all depressed when we lost her. The whole world is depressed. There is not one single person who has walked on this earth who has not been in one moment where they have found themselves being depressed. That's just how it is. It's the human condition, Sweetie. Get used to it. But when things get down you're eventually going to float back to the surface. You have to. It's something you can't fight against and you will get out of here. You will get better and I promise you...You will be happy again."_

"_I'm never going to be as happy as I was when I was with her."_

"_How do you know? How do you know unless you try. You don't know what's going to happen. You don't know what the future has in store for you."_

_She looked out the window and looked around the autumn world. Everything was dying and losing its lustre. She shivered when she felt a draft from a window or a door that had been left open. A nurse would eventually close it._

"_I'd rather not know. You might be wrong, Axel. Perhaps the future might deal me with a different set of cards. Ones which aren't that good."_

~ (***) ~

The others decided to leave so that they could give Xion and Theo some alone time since having friends hovering over your shoulder usually killed the romantic atmosphere, especially for those who weren't even into the relationship stage yet. Marlie whispered to Axel that it was a spell for disaster for friends to remain for too long on a date. Axel, knowing from the fantastic example he was displaying for healthy relationships, of course was a good authority on this. Then again on this one occasion he had to force himself to agree with him...or her. He wasn't entire sure what Marlie decided to be. Xion and Theo believed that this was a friendly outing whereas in reality this was a date where they were the escorts. He loved how gullible they were being. They both really thought this was a simple, friendly outing. He would have thought to expect more from Xion due to her experience. They slipped away, making an excuse that Marlie had to get home soon to catch a TV show despite the invention of recording TV shows. Yuffie and Kairi claimed they liked this TV show (they didn't) and Axel had to get back to dealing with some record deal with his company. Axel glanced over his shoulder as he walked out, Xion's head was bent closer to Theo's now. He smiled affectionately and walked down the door knowing that sometime soon they were going to be a couple.

Xion glanced over her shoulder as she heard the bell ring, telling her that the others had left the building. She frowned wondering whether to get up and follow them but Marlie was waving at her to stay where she was and knew that it was only best to shake her head and go along with whatever they had in store for them. She just hoped that it wouldn't end in tears. Anything with Marlie involved was...most of the time something best to escape from but it allowed her to have some alone time with Theo so. Although she did begin to feel slightly uneasy now that she was alone with Theo. Theo flickered her eyelids at her, not in a flirtatious way but more lazily. It was in a lazy like fashion but it wasn't in the least bit unattractive. It reminded Xion of a clumsy butterfly flying into a flower or another butterfly by accident. Anything she did now made Xion go crazy, it made her feel like she was on fire. She didn't know what to say to her. They had been talking all afternoon when they were there with the others, now she couldn't say a word. Her eyes spoke louder than her lips did as she stared intently at Theo as she finished her coffee. Black with three sugars. So dark, so tempting. Just like her.

"Where do you want to go after this?" She asked conversationally. She was surprised her voice didn't waver or skip a beat.

Theo shrugged her skinny shoulders. "I don't mind. I'll go wherever you go."

_I'll go wherever you go. I'll go wherever you go. _It wasn't 'you can chose' or 'I'll cool with anything'. It was _I'll go wherever you go_. It was almost like she was making a pledge without realising it.

"Really?" She challenged, half joking, half serious.

Theo nodded. "Yeah. Do you have anywhere in mind?"

Xion smiled thinking she would take Theo to the ends of the world and back if she wanted her to. She could see that she was someone who wanted to go to the furtherest reaches of the universe. It was just that it was a journey that she didn't want to make alone. She would take her to the white sands of desert islands. She would plunge deep into the jungles of tropical, unknown lands. If there was a jewel lurking hidden in its depths she would enter the snake infested jungle to get it for her if she was willing to get it for her. She would swim with her in the warm, crystal blue lagoons it was at the bottom of the ocean. She would wander hand in hand in the golden deserts. She would take her to the quaint, delicate gardens where they would endlessly walk in circles in their mazes of flowers and trees. Most people would think this was crazy and rather selfish on the part of the one who they were doing this for but Xion knew that when she thought about this she knew that Theo, just with who she was and the way that she spoke to her that she wouldn't let her go alone. Xion would take her anywhere she wished but if she was willing to follow her anywhere...Xion never had that.

However Xion shrugged and answered, "I thought we might take a detour. There are these woodlands you may have seen from your window. It looks quite beautiful at twilight, especially when you walk through it. The woods, I mean."

Theo nodded. "It takes longer going through that way, of course."

Theo blinked and shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah. It's fine. I like it. There was a wood I would walk through on the way back from school. I loved stretched out my hand as if to grab handfuls of light that shone between the leaves."

"That's beautiful. You're a born poet."

"Writer." Theo corrected. "I tried poetry. I'm not that good at it. No, if I'm ever to publish a book of poems there will only be one as there will only be enough to publish in one book which I will be willing to write, let alone willing to publish. Most of them are ridiculous."

"I tell you they are not and I haven't even read one yet."

"Me thinks you compliment too much." Theo pouted.

"Me thinks the lady the lady doth complains too much." Xion quoted however Theo frowned.

"Is that even right? I'm sure you've mixed the words up there. Somewhere."

"Somewhere." Xion agreed. "Do you want to go somewhere and get mixed up?"

Theo's eyes widened in something mixed with excitement and surprise at Xion's courage and brazenness. She nodded wordlessly and abandoned the last sip of her coffee. When she stepped out into the summer evening Theo had never seen anything more beautiful.

"It's beautiful." She whispered.

Xion looked at her. "We haven't even seen it yet."

Theo turned to her and smiled a secret smile. "But I already know its going to be beautiful."

She and Theo walked down the pavement through the town. They were walking so close to one another, side by side, that on some occasions their hands would brush against one another. Both of them wouldn't know this but they would feel the same tingling sensation travelling up their fingers, through the hands and climb up their arms making their hairs on the back of their necks stand on end. They would glance at one another shyly and silently apologise even though they felt far from it. They would even both wish at the same time that one of them would take the others hand. Shops were closing, cafes had their last customers hovering, the bars were opening. This was when ironically when the sun was going to bed, the town was finally coming alive again. Once bars were made or established the world never really went to sleep. Even when it was dark. As things were switching off, they were also coming alive. Theo couldn't wait to see when things were alive here at night. She had never felt this thrilled to go out somewhere before. She made a mental note to encourage everyone to have a night out at the bars no matter how small town they were. She preferred small town bars opposed to big city night clubs.

"So where are we actually going?"

Xion looked at her with a blank expression. "We're going to the woods."

Theo sighed and shook her head. "I wasn't talking about that."

"..."

"..."

"I'm not entirely sure." Xion finally answered. "But I can't wait to find out."


	17. Summer Storms

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Seventeen: Summer Storms

For **A.J Brooks**

_After Axel had gone it gave Theo time to think about what he had said. The redhead usually spouted whatever came into his head, no one was able to get a word it. It was one of his redeeming qualities along with being his greatest flaw. Theo was glad that he was gone but at the same time he missed his energetic, optimistic presence. For a moment she wished that she would be able to move on. Then she realised that this was a fantasy. She couldn't let herself believe that there was a chance that she could be happy again because she knew this was something which only existed in dreams or in the next life. Not this one. In some ways, it was cruel what these sorts of places were doing. People had the right to end their lives if they wished to. People should have the right to death as much as they have the right to life._

"_So was that a friend of yours?"_

_Theo spun round to see who it was, only to find it was the familiar blonde haired, blue eyed boy who had attracted Axel's attention._

_She stared at him for a moment and then found herself laughing, surprisingly enough. "Roxas. You scared me."_

_He chuckled nervously. "Sorry. I didn't mean to creep on you like that."_

_She waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. Aren't you supposed to be at the meeting?"_

_She was only asking this out of suspicion, really and also to get him away from her. She didn't want him thinking that they were best friends now just because they had a conversation. She knew the less ties she had to this world, the more easier it was for her to let go it. The more she was rooted to the earth, the harder it would be to rip herself out it. She had made her choice and she was going to follow through with it by all means possible._

"_Yeah. It's finished. I arrived late. So, was that guy a friend of yours?"_

_She nodded with a vague expression on her face. "Sort of. I haven't know him for that long but he's one of the only people I have left in the world."_

"_You're lonely."_

_Theo frowned. "You're lonely." He repeated. "That's why you're here."_

"_Yeah. I lost someone. Now I...I feel as if there's nothing else to live for." She found herself admitting._

"_You have Axel don't you? And some other people. Don't they matter enough for you stay a little while longer?"_

_His words stung her like a snake bite. The poison slowly crept across her body and began to infect her. She was paralysed and realised there was nothing she could do to stop it. It had caught her. There was no escape from what was about to happen. She wanted it to stop so badly but once they deed had been done there was no way of undoing it. How did he know? How did he know her so well, they had hardly spoken. How was someone able to look across a room and see into another's soul?_

"_How long is a piece of string?" She asked solemnly. "What is a little while longer?"_

_Roxas shrugged. "However long you want it to be."_

"_What is I can't wait that long?"_

"_Why make it hard for yourself?" He challenged. "Why not just let it go?"_

_How long did people expect her to carry on like this? Everyone kept saying 'Isn't there anything else to live for?' or 'Can't you stay on for a little while longer?' there was no point in asking such questions because they should know the answer by now. After looking into her dead, cold eyes they must surely find the answer that they're looking for in there. How long did they want her to carry on living in pain? She knew that all she had, when she was with her was Xion and now that she was gone all that she had, once it was in her hands had been snatched away. It was like she had held it out in open palms and didn't grip onto them in time before they were taken off her so cruelly. Sometimes she saw her in the corridor or in her room at night smiling down at her. She could feel her thin, warm fingers stroked her hair, singing a lullaby in her ear as she wept. She would sing for as long as it took Theo to drift into a dreamless sleep. Absent of her nightmares._

"_Because she won't let me go." She whispered. "She doesn't want me to let her go."_

"_And by her...you mean someone you once loved." He replied, gazing at her knowingly. "Okay, what about this. What if it's just __**you**_ _who doesn't want to let __**her **__go and you're just trying to justify it by denying it. What if its just the memories of her that you want to latch onto. Instead of making a better future you feel it's safer to remain in the past."_

_She didn't reply. She had no answer to such a theory so Roxas continued. "Maybe the truth is you're scared. Maybe it's that you're scared of a future without her. Maybe that's what it is."_

~ (***) ~

As they walked through the woods Theo couldn't help but have a moment of nostalgia. This woodland was so similar to the woods she walked through back home from school she almost thought that she was back home. That this summer at her cousins was all a dream. A precognitive dream of the future, bright summer ahead of her. It made her almost believe, if she wasn't walking beside her, that Xion didn't exist. That she was some angel which was helping her believe in the fact that everything was going to be okay. That her future in the big wide world was going to be a thousand times better than the world that she was trapped in as a teenage girl in a prejudiced high school.

"You've been awfully quiet."

Theo turned to Xion who had concerned expression on her face. "Are you alright?"

Theo nodded. "Yeah I was just thinking."

"What about?" Xion asked with a smirk on her face.

Theo shrugged her shoulders playfully. "Just nostalgia."

Xion frowned and wondered why Theo was thinking about something like that. Xion had something completely different on her mind. She was thinking about the way Theo's eyes danced as she walked through a forest. She had never seen anyone who was so captured by nature before. She was a psychologist, so nature wasn't exactly her area of interest but that shouldn't really stop her from appreciating the beauty of nature. It was nice to have a kindred spirit on the matter.

"Beautiful." Theo whispered.

Xion nodded in agreement as she gazed at the dark haired girl. Beautiful was definitely the right way of putting it. Saying that it was alright, was insufficient as much as Xion saying that she liked Theo a lot. Saying that she loved her was the only way of adequately explaining the extent of her feelings for her. She had many days of mulling it over and she knew in this moment and onwards that she loved Theo. This was the moment, where she knew, even if her feelings weren't ever going to be returned that there would be another chance for her to love once again and perhaps one day it would be returned.

"Theo..." She said her name aloud. She didn't know why but she felt like she had to say her name out loud. The other thought was asking her something and when Theo's eyes were on her Xion didn't know what to do.

"What is it?"

Xion opened her mouth to say something but at that moment the world exploded. Nature had decided to intervene. A flash of lightening cut through the air and a few moments later the sound of thunder echoed throughout the hills and the woods. This was soon followed by rain pouring down from the heavens. When they hit the leaves on the trees it sounded like bullets were being fired from a distance. Both girls stared up at the grey, empty sky. The two girls looked at each other for a moment surprised by the interruption in something which could've changed them forever. Whatever words were going to pass Xion's lips, they both knew, were going to change them forever. Theo then began to laugh. It was so typical, so melodramatic, so unrealistic for something like this to happen. She was sure Xion was going to say something important, but it was funny how the world wanted to intervene, to make her wait a while longer for her to find out what she was going to say. She had a feeling that she might even return the feeling Theo had for her but the world decided that she should wait a little longer. Xion soon joined it and began spinning around in circles. The girls ran down the path which was on a hill, allowing the violent rain to drench them. It made them feel like children again. They felt so free from what was expected of them. From the big wide world which was so serious and perilous. In this moment they were allowed to be themselves.

The raced one another down the hill, however as clumsy as she was, Theo slipped over and skidded over on the slidey ground.

"Theo!" Xion cried. She ran back to the other girl to check if she was okay. Theo waved her hand away but allowed Xion to help her up.

"No injuries. I'm fine."

There was a bit of mud on her face though. It was left there as a mark, taunting Xion. She reached forward hesitantly and brought her hand to her face. She smiled awkwardly at Theo and brushed her fingertips against her face. Theo stared back at her wide-eyed and dazed. Xion's hand rested there for a moment long after the mud was gone. Their eyes met. Now or never. Xion leaned forward as if she was about to say something until they were intruded by a voice.

"Xion!"

They both turned to see who it was that had spoken. It was a girl Theo didn't recognise. She had bright green eyes, soft, peach-coloured skin and brown hair worn in plaits which at he moment was disarrayed and messy. Her clothes looked slightly ripped and her arms had purple spots and cuts dotted all over them.

Xion spoke the girls name. "Olette."

She stepped away from Theo and went towards the girl and took her by the shoulders. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Olette shook her head. "No. No."

The girl nestled in Xion's arms and sobbed. Her cries rose above the abominable sounds of the storm. Theo didn't know who this girl was but she found herself becoming instantly concerned for her. She knew what it meant when there was a girl running through the woods with torn clothes, bruises on her arms and distraught. Theo took a few steps forward and took in a few things which were being said.

"...I couldn't handle it any more...He just keeps hitting...He says he loves me but..."

Xion shushed her and walked down the path. "Don't worry. It's over now."


	18. Endless Summers

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Eighteen: Endless Summers

For **Tasogare no Raikou**

"_Why are you doing this? Why are you bothering?"_

_Her voice was weak and uncertain. She didn't look at Roxas because she was too scared that he might find more by looking into her eyes._

_Roxas looked over at her coolly and shrugged his shoulders. "Because. I think that's why I'm here."_

_Theo scoffed. "You're here for the same reason as me. You're sick of life. You're too tired to go on living. Why else would you be here? Why else would any of us be here in this prison? That's the only reason why we came to the decision we made. That's the only reason I can think of for leaving this life."_

"_No. That's your reason. I came here because I needed help. Or my parents thought so at the time, I resented them for it but not any more. I can see what they were saying now. I was sad. I was bored with how life was going. I was depressed because I thought there was no point to it. Life seemed so bland and pointless. The world was spiralling downwards and there was no way of stopping it. Or so I thought. Now I know that there is a way. You can make life beautiful if you make it that way. You can't wait for someone else or the world to do it for you."_

"_Are you saying that's my problem?" Theo sneered._

_She hated how he was trying to diagnose her. It was enough that she was getting it from the doctors here who were saying those comforting words in that soothing tone of voice but didn't really know what they were talking about. They never contemplated killing themselves so how did they really know about how painful it was to live. How did they know the heartbreak of losing someone they loved. Had any of them really loved someone as intensely as Theo loved Xion. She doubted it. They didn't have a clue about what she was going through._

_Roxas ignored her angry, taunting gaze and continued. "No. I'm saying that everyone's problem. We just feel it more than others and instead of picking ourselves back up we let ourselves fall down. It sounds to me that you've depended yourself too much on this other girl to make you happy rather than making yourself happy."_

"_How can you be happy if you're alone? With no one to comfort you?" She demanded with angry eyes._

_She stared at Roxas wondering if he knew what it was like to love someone. Did he love someone as much as Theo had loved Xion? Was that part of the cause of him seeing life as bland as he thought it was? Did the world seem to lose its colour as soon as someone he loved had vanished from it? In a way Theo felt that way now that Xion was dead. It was funny that she was seeing eye to eye with Roxas on something. The world did seem grey now._

_Roxas shook his head. "There are plenty of people here to comfort you and love you. You're far from being alone. There are your friends, your family you're just looking for those things from the people who are gone."_

"_Is it so wrong that I want to be with that person?"_

"_No. But have you considered that maybe its not your time to be with that person yet? Maybe you have a little more further to go on with life?"_

_Theo smiled to herself and shook her head. "Are you sure they sent you to the right institution?"_

_Theo looked at Roxas's bright blue eyes which reminded her of the deep blue ocean. She loved l ooking into his eyes all of a sudden. She didn't know why and it frightened her that she found herself being pulled in by this boy. She wasn't finding herself becoming attracted to him, in fact she was sure that he was gay like herself. The only reason why she found herself attracted to them because they reminded him of the ocean. They reminded them of the day which she always went back to in the mists of her childhood, on that bright, sunny day which made her feel so happy. Spreading out her arms like she was readying herself to fly. She would run as fast as she could and run towards the waves. She didn't care if they waves pulled her into the ocean, swallowing her up and never returning to the surface. She just wanted to be one with the ocean because she knew she would be happy as soon as she was in the water. It was so bright and wonderful, she couldn't help but feel the tide pull her in long before she felt the sand beneath her feet. The ocean was what made her feel happy._

_Roxas laughed. "Yeah. It's just I've accepted that it isn't my time yet, Theo. That's the difference between you and I. I know I'm supposed to be here for a little longer, you've yet to accept that."_

_She raised her eyebrow. "And if I can't?"_

_Roxas stared back at her with a hidden smile on his face. "You will. I'm pretty good at telling who's going to make it and who aren't."_

"_And what do you mean by that?" She teased._

_His face was serious now. Before his expression was rather playful, like they were two kids in a playground sharing a secret. She stepped back slightly and pulled the cardigan around her shoulders around her and wrapped her arms around herself. For some reason she felt icy cold. She shivered against the serious expression on his face. It frightened her. It was as if it didn't belong there. That it should be on someone else's face. He always looked happy when she saw him walking in the halls with someone and now he was looking serious. Maybe after speaking with her for a few minutes people suddenly went serious._

_Roxas stared back at her, his eyes blinking seriously. "Those who really want to go and those who aren't going to go by their doing."_

_Theo gulped and quickly looked away. "That must be hard. To be the one to know that someone could be walking down the corridor one day and the next they'll be sent to a funeral parlour."_

_Roxas shrugged. "I'm not always right but once you've been here for a while you know the ones who are going to last and the ones who will be gone in the next week. And I can also tell the reason for their departure but my word isn't a guarantee."_

_Theo nodded and looked down at the ground. "That's still scary."_

_Roxas looked at the dark haired girl and raised an eyebrow. She looked up suddenly and stared straight into his eyes._

_"How long have you been here?"_

_Roxas smirked. It still amused him how this had always remained something which was almost compulsory for you to ask another person. It was the one thing you could expect while you were here. It was something which was never going to change in this little world of theirs. Not in the big wide world outside of this place. In here. It was always in the same tone of voice, no matter who it was that asked this question everyone always asked in the same conversational tone. It was almost like they were asking, 'So where did you go to school?' or 'What have you done today?'. Sometimes it annoyed him. It was probably why he was unable to make as many friends as many people would have thought. He was a kind, approachable, pleasant person but there was something about the people in this place. They were all the same. It was like they were trying to make it sound like they were being innocent when they were asking this question. It was a perfectly innocent question, the only thing which could be a little bit...lethal was the answer. If you say more than two years they look at you as if you're a lost case. If you say less than six months they look at you in a patronizing way you would look at a newbie._

"_About a year." He answered._

"_Why so long? You sound healthy enough to me." She commented._

"_I wasn't always like this. I was like you, sort of. I was convinced I wasn't going to last here and I'm not talking about the institution."_

_Theo licked her lips and stepped a little closer to Roxas. "What happened? I mean what changed your mind?"_

_Roxas shrugged his shoulders. "I just got sick of wanting to die. I found it more boring trying to do something which evidently wasn't working or I wasn't any good at so I thought...maybe that's not what I'm supposed to do with the whatever-amount of remaining days that I had."_

"_Did you find what you were supposed to do?" She asked timidly._

_He looked at her and smiled. "Live." He answered simply._

_Live. What a simple answer. What a simple solution. Too simple for Theo though. She sighed and leaned against the open window and looked out onto the falling sun._

"_What do you think happens when you die?"_

"_I don't know." He chuckled. "Why? What do you think happens?"_

"_I think we go somewhere happy. When I first...tried to kill myself. I thought that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing because I was going somewhere happy. So I wasn't really leaving anything behind which I would regret leaving behind. You know? I was going to something much better."_

"_What's changed your mind?"_

_Theo looked at Roxas and hesitated. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for that happiness yet. I'm not even sure I'm ready to leave this all behind yet."_

~ (***) ~

Theo felt groggy the next morning. She rubbed her eyes and tried to recollect the events of the day before. She remembered rain. Yes, there was definitely rain. There was a wood. She was walking through it with someone. Someone with bright blue eyes. Xion. She touched her face. She remembered when she brushed her fingers against her cheek they felt like an electric shock. She was so still and shocked when it happened that she didn't move away with Xion leaned in to tell her something. Then another girl appeared. She had torn clothes and bruises all over her body. The tears and rainwater pouring down her face mixed together Theo couldn't tell which was which. Xion took her under her arm and took her back to the house.

Everyone was fussing over Olette when she arrived. Theo stood back and kept out of it. She didn't know the girl and she knew she would just be in the way. When she had the opportune time she pulled Yuffie to on side and asked her what was going on. It turned out Olette was Kairi's cousin, when she thought about it Olette and Kairi seemed to have the same bright eyed, cute face. Olette had been dating a guy called Seifer who was, by Theo's standards, bad news considering the amount of times he had been in a prison cell for the night and the number of times he begged Olette to bail him out. Also the bruises on her arm told Theo enough that this guy wasn't exactly boyfriend material. More abusive boyfriend material. That day Seifer had gone too far and even threatened to kill Olette where she finally decided to run away, knowing that was the only option. In Theo's opinion she should've bailed sooner. Then again better to do it than never.

She got out of bed and threw on some clothes. She was only going down to breakfast and she knew it was going to be a 'me time' day considering people were going to be the foot soldiers for Olette.

As she walked down the corridor she heard a muffling sound coming from the room she was sure Olette had been put into. She hesitated and reached out to the door. She knocked gently looking around before walking in.

"Hello?"

Olette was in her bed weeping. She was sat up rather than curled up in the bed sheets which surprised Theo since she thought that was what most people did. Olette looked up and blinked at the stranger in her room.

"Er- D-d-d-"

"Shall I go get someo-"

"You were in the woods." She remembered. "With Xion. You were that other girl."

Theo closed the door carefully and nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry about-"

Then she burst into fits of tears again, making Theo all the more uncomfortable. She peered out into the hallway and found no one in sight. She would've gone off to find someone but she didn't want to leave the girl alone in case she would do something.

"Okay." She rushed to the girl's beside and held her hand. "Do you want something? Can I get you a glass of water or-"

Olette shook her head. "I just need to talk to somebody."

She looked at her with a weary look on her face and waited until Olette looked away for a moment before she could pull the look on contempt. She wanted to run off and pretend that she had either miraculously disappeared or that she was never there in the first place. She didn't want to have to do this. She certainly didn't sign up for this when she decided to come here for the summer but then again things like this just happen so she could hardly blame her hosts. But then didn't mean that she was completely and utterly willing to play therapist. She thought that this was a bit much for someone she was just met. She hardly knew this girl...Yet she wanted to pour out all her problems and emotions which surrounded those problems and onto her and once she was done Theo was going to have no idea what to do with them all. She was never the one to play therapist. She was always the one who would have to be shoved into that position. It was just that she came across as the sort of person who was willing to listen to other peoples problems.

Theo fidgeted uncomfortably. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well I-I-I don't understand wh-why I can't find a nice boyfriend. Who doesn't beat me up or beg me to bail him out of jail in the middle of the night. I don't get it."

Theo took a deep breath and patted the girls hand. "Well. He's just one guy isn't he? Now you've got the rest of your life to have plenty of nice guys. You've learned your lesson now and you have a second chance for making the right choice. You may not realise it, but one day you are going to happier than you ever thought that was possible. Believe it or not you are going to get through this and you are going to be happy one day."

Olette wiped her tears away and gave Theo a brave smile. "Yeah. I just wonder if I have another chance with...Well, there is someone. There is this guy I know who I think liked me, I now know looking back at one moment he was going to tell me. I was with Seifer at the time. Neither of them like each other and I thought at the time it was going to be some speech about me deserving so much better but I was so naïve."

"Look. It doesn't matter if its with this particular guy. In fact, I think you need to stay from men

for now before you jump back into it."

Olette laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "Well recently, I've been thinking a lot about him. I've been thinking that when Seifer has made me feel less than, he made me feel more. When Seifer made me feel sad, he made me feel happy. I can say anything to him, but with Seifer I have to watch what I say otherwise he would make fun of me or worse hit me."

Theo considered this and nodded. "Well to me it sounds like you loved the other guy all along. You were more scared of telling him your feelings. Maybe now would be the time. When you feel less...Whatever."

Olette nodded. "I need to call him actually. Not Seifer. The other guy. He'll probably have heard what happened and he'll be going crazy."

"Do you want me to call him?"

Olette stared at her wide eyed. "Would you do that?"

Theo shrugged and nodded. "Sure. You aren't exactly in the right place to call him yet and he just needs to know you're somewhere safe before he does something stupid."

Olette nodded rolling her eyes and wrote now the name and phone number. Theo took it and got to her feet.

"Sit tight. I'll come back with a glass of water after I've called him, okay?"

"Thanks." Olette gave her a grateful smile before Theo closed the door behind her.

She went to the phone downstairs and dialled the number. The phone rang for only a split second until she heard a male voice on the other line.

"_Hello?_"

"Hi is this Hayner?" She asked.

"_Yeah...Is this about Olette? Is she okay?"_

"Yes. She's fine. I'm Theo, my cousins Larxene and Namine have Olette here at their house. I'm calling because Olette was concerned that you would be worried about her."

"_Damn right. After what that bastard has put her through. Is she there?"_

"She's in the house but she's not physically by my side right this second. I'm just calling so you know how to contact her and really so you know where she is."

"_Can I talk to her?"_

"She's really not in the right place to be talking to anyone right now. I'm sorry. If you want to talk to her I would come down and talk to her face to face."

"_Alright. Thank you for calling me."_

"No problem." And hung up.

~ (***) ~

Theo sat there staring into space. She thought about Olette and about second chances. She thought about Hayner now at home walking out the door to the house. The guy sounded pretty determined to speak to her. She knew after that short phone conversation that he loved her. She was right. Olette wasn't being vain or anything of a sort. The guy loved her. She thought about Xion and when they stood under the trees when she touched her face. She couldn't get that memory out of her head. She had been replaying that memory ever since it happened and in her dreams she relived it over and over again. She wanted to remain in that moment forever. She wanted a second chance at that moment. She wanted to be able to tell Xion how she felt about her. She was only able to tell Axel when she was drunk one night about her real feeling and Namine when she practically interrogated her.

She got up from her seat and searched for Xion. She wasn't in her room so she checked all the other rooms in the house. She checked the kitchen where she remembered the glass of water and took it up to Olette's room and asked whether Xion had been in there. She shook her head with a frown on her face. She asked whether there was a problem where Theo assured her there wasn't. She just needed to talk to her. Before she walked out the room Olette stopped her with those deadly words.

"You love her don't you?"

Theo froze in the doorway and didn't dare to turn around and face her until after standing there for a few minutes.

She stared at Olette who was smiling at her. "Yeah."

"I could tell from the way you were looking at each other when I found you." She giggled. "Have you told her yet?"

Theo shook her head.

"You should. Before its too late."

"That's what I'm doing. Before it's too late. Life passes by too quickly."

"Not quick enough for you to grab on." Olette replied.

Theo returned the smile and stepped forward. "Hayner is coming to see you by the way."

Now it was Olette's turn to freak out. "What? He told you that? Why didn't you tell him not to?"

"He didn't say that he was coming. He didn't say it out loud but I could tell from his tone of voice that now that he knows that you're here he's going to be coming in...how ever long it would take for him to get here. I just thought I'd warn you."

"Okay." Olette sighed.

Theo gazed intently at him. "Give him a chance alright? Give yourself a chance."

Olette narrowed her eyes at Theo. "I thought you were telling me to stay away from guys for the time being?"

Theo shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe I was wrong."

Theo patted her on the knee and walked out the room purposefully. Axel gave her a strange look as she walked out Olette's room but Theo only gave him a nod. She would talk to him later. He knew she was able to make fast friends but being able to just waltz out of a distraught girl's room with a bright smile on your face was a little much. She knew that Axel suspected that something was going on and she knew he was going to find out about it one way or another.

She glided down the stairs and went straight out of the front door. She knew there was only one place she could find Xion. Before she knew it her legs were running towards the jade green trees and running along the path they had treacherously walked along the day before. It had dried up a little from the storm but it was still a little slippy. She slowed down a little not wanted to slip over again.

"Theo."

The voice was soft and surprised. She knew who it was. She turned around slowly to find Xion hiding in the clearing. She stared at her before stepping out towards her.

"Theo, what are you doing here?" She asked.

She was asking her like Theo had no right to be here in her private space. It was as if the forest had become her hiding place, but from what? Or from who?

Theo licked her lips. "I came here to...I knew you would be here."

Xion frowned and swaggered as she stepped back a little. She frowned at Theo and looked her up and down.

"Why are you looking for me? Does someone need me?"

Theo could feel her heart thudding in her chest. Yes. She wanted to say. Yes someone does need you. I need you.

"Theo?" Theo blinked as she snapped out of her own thoughts. "What is it?"

"Yes." She said quickly. She had to start taking her second chance seriously now. She wasn't going to hesitate.

"What is it? What's the problem?"

Theo shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know if there's going to be a problem."

"With what?"

Xion was getting a little frustrated now with Theo's vagueness. Theo knew she had to act. It was now or never.

So she stepped forward without thinking or any hesitation grabbed Xion by the shoulders and brought her lips to Xion's.


	19. Summer Daze

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Nineteen: Summer Daze

For **Lady Karai**

_Roxas looked at her with a sad, warm smile on his face. He could see that she was really extending an olive branch by talking to him. She was a silent ghost walking their halls who hadn't left them. He could see as the last beams of sunshine was illuminating on her face as if she was coming back to life._

"_Maybe that's why you're still here."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I was thinking...that maybe you're still here because deep down you're not ready to leave yet. You're still unsure whether you really want to leave."_

_She stared at him with fear. He had hit the mark. That was what it was which was hindering her from committing the act completely. She drew back slightly and broke all eye contact with him._

"_I...I'll see you later."_

"_Wait." She sighed and raised her eyebrows. "Don't do anything stupid."_

_She suppressed a laugh and nodded. "Yeah okay. Thanks for the advice and for the record, I think its a bit late for that."_

_Roxas didn't stop her, nor did he protest. Sometimes you had to let some people go so that they could rethink some things and some of those things had be resolved by yourself. Sometimes outside help could just make it more confusing than the situation was already making it. He knew that he had done his part. Then she had to take the last leg of it by herself...Or with some other assistance elsewhere. She needed time to think about it, but then she needed someone else...Some other persons opinion in case it wasn't the healthy thing to be thinking about. If he took it any further she would be led in a different direction and he didn't want to be responsible for her death. He didn't want to push her over the edge, not yet. First she had to confront what happened and she wasn't brave enough to do that yet and he wasn't the one to make her confront it either. He wanted to be responsible for her wanting to take another chance at life. She walked away from him as quickly as she could back to her room. She needed time to think. He could see that clearly. She needed to think about what she was going to do with her remaining days. Was she going to wait for her death? Was she going plan it? Or was she going to do what Roxas was going to do for the rest of his life? Was she finally going to accept the fact that she was going to be here for much longer than Xion was fated to and live?_

_When it dawned on her the inevitability of it and the pain was so overwhelming she had to lean against the wall to stop her from falling to the floor. She felt like there was some hole opening up beneath her feet and was threatening to pull her in and where she would be unable to stop falling. She bit into her lip to stop herself from crying publicly. She knew that would be a one way ticket to see the Doctor who would see it as the perfect opportunity for her to open up to him about everything. If she was going to cry it was going to be under circumstances where chances of being seen were reduced. She didn't want anyone to see her cry. It attracted a chance to have a heartfelt revelation. She already had her revelation and it was nowhere near heartfelt._

_She staggered to her room and practically fell into her room before slamming the door shut behind her. She breathed heavily and found that she was sweating._

"_Theo."_

_Her eyes darted to the corner. She had come back._

"_Theo."_

_Theo looked away in a panic. She took handfuls of hair in her hands and fell to the ground, willing the voice from the corner to go away._

"_Theo, are you going to make me wait?"_

"_No." She squeaked._

"_Theo. Are you going to let go of us?"_

"_Go away." She begged._

"_Theo. I thought we were going to be together. You were the one who wanted us to be together forever. I could see it in your eyes. On that last night, you wanted us to be together always."_

"_Please. Go. I can't-"_

"_Are you not going to come and be with me?"_

_Theo shook her head, willing for the ghost to leave her alone._

"_Theo." The ghost implored gently._

"_GO!" She cried as she got to her feet and turned to face her ghost. The ghost was no longer there._

~ (***) ~

Theo pulled away from Xion's lips with her eyes still closed. She wanted to savour this moment for as long as she could. She probably wouldn't get another chance. She wouldn't blame her if she went running in the opposite direction. She was practically mouth raping her. She was at least going to savour the memory so that she would always remember it. She could have that memory for one moment she was brave and did something she would've never have been able to do before now. She could remember her own first kiss and she knew it was the perfect first kiss but she always wished that she could be that brave one day and here she was. Being brave. Her lips were softer than she thought. Her skin was as smooth as silk. All more perfect than she imagined. Xion's lips were still considering that the kiss had come out of the blue. She had never kissed anyone other than the niece of a neighbour from across the road so she didn't know how to interpret kisses and whether the other person liked it, agreed with it or anything like that. Besides, technically the other girl kissed Theo not the other way round. She was really taking a gamble with this kiss. She pulled away gently so that her lips could linger for a little longer on Xion's if her hopes were to be short lived. She stared up at Xion daringly to find a shocked expression on Xion's face. She didn't blame her for looking so shocked.

She stared at her for a while before muttering a single word under her breath. "Theo..."

She couldn't say anything else. She was shocked, Theo grinned. She didn't blame her. This was totally out of character for her and this was really out of the blue.

"Do you have anything to say?"

Xion tried to talk but she was speechless. She looked around trying to find some inspiration but nothing escaped from her lips.

"Xion?" Theo pleaded.

Xion had no idea what to say or think. This just came out of the blue and...She had never been kissed like that. Lola had never kissed her like that, looking back in hindsight she knew every single kiss was telling or should have been telling her that all the other woman was hoping for was sex. Lola wasn't the only person who she kissed. The first kiss which told her that she was gay wasn't that great. It was sloppy and awkward, a usual first kiss. This was different. When she woke up this morning this was the last thing she was expecting on her morning walk. She had gone to the woods to think about what had happened to Olette and to think about her own situation. She even began considering whether she was ready to enter a relationship if Theo was interested in her. Which, had now been settled, she might add. She knew how much loving someone could also hurt you. Sometimes love didn't make sense. It was the one thing people failed to explain as to how it came about, why it made you do the craziest of things etc You carried on being with someone who hurt you so much but you still wanted to be with them. You couldn't imagine life without them and still clung onto them because its was what felt comfortable. She knew that now that she could look back on her own experiences with some hindsight.

"Theo..." She had collected her thoughts and rubbed her eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

Theo stepped back and looked down at the floor. "Well now I want you to be honest with me." She grumbled.

"I'm not sure that..."

Theo stepped back and blinked. "You're not sure of what?"

Xion stared at her. "I'm not sure whether...I don't know if I can..."

Theo laughed cynically and shook her head. "Forget it."

Xion looked up and saw that Theo was already running into the trees, as if she was a native trying to find sanctuary in their own nature-filled world from its invaders. She would look over her shoulder to see if she was still following her and if she was she would start speeding up a little bit more. Xion called after her but she didn't turn around, reply, listen or acknowledge her. She thought that she had missed her chance with her now and thought it would probably be better if she just left things as they were. She carried on running deeper and deeper into the forest and she wasn't looking like she was going to stop any time soon. She couldn't stop now. She had get as far away from her. Just for a moment, so that she could think. Xion pulled at the branches and ripped at the leaves which smacked in her face as she swam through the hedges, wild plantation in an attempt to reach Theo. It was so easy to be enthralled by the beauty of this forest to not release that moments later you were lost in the middle of it. Sometimes it took hours for you to find the path again. She didn't want another episode of going out into the forest in an attempt to find someone. Not after what happened with Marlie last summer. Now that was an ordeal and a half and with Olette the house had enough to worry about.

"Theo!" She cried.

She was still able to see her black hair running through the forest. She was impressed that she seemed to find it easier to get through the wild than Xion.

"THEO!"

Xion was panicking now. She thought that she had got lost. Or maybe Olette's boyfriend was back and had done something terrible to her. Maybe he could have taken her. She didn't look that different to Olette. Then again he would see her hair was too dark to be Olette's. But he knew she was here, maybe she had taken her to question her about everything. Whether the police knew about what had happened. Anything could have happened to her. The Seifer theory was a little far-fetched or may not be but she was still worried about her. She didn't want anything to happen to her. She didn't want to lose her. This was perhaps a sign that she cared about her so much that she was going to rush to the most extreme conclusions about her welfare. This wasn't supposed to happen. If this was going to happen, Xion never envisioned things would turn out this way. She never thought that their first kiss would result in her running away because she didn't feel the same way about her. She didn't want the others to be annoyed with her thinking she was throwing a temper tantrum. She wasn't. Xion was just being an emotional, cowardly idiot. She wanted to be with Theo. She was going to tell Theo in the same way she told her today that she liked her also. But then Olette came along and her baggage made her remember the pains from the past.

"Theo stop! Please! I want to talk to you!"

By some miracle the other girl had stopped in a clearing. She was standing over an area where some trees encircled around with a beam of light shining from the very top.

Xion turned back to Theo and stepped forward. "Theo."

Theo jumped at the sound of her voice and began to back away from Xion as if she was attacking her. Before she could run away again Xion grabbed her wrist and pulled her to her.

"No Theo."

"Go away." She muttered.

"No Theo let me talk to you."

"Leave me-"

Xion pulled her towards her, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and she took her hand from her wrist and placed it behind her head brought her lips to hers. Xion's kiss was much more forceful and passionate than Theo's. Theo's was timid, hesitant. She didn't want to knock Xion off balance. Xion's was. She wanted her to know there was nothing wrong with what either of them were feeling. Theo's kiss wanted to be something that remained on the surface of things whereas Xion's wanted to dive deep into their souls. Xion didn't respond to Theo's kiss but eventually Theo leaned into Xion's. Her limb arms eventually wrapped around Xion's and she responed to Xion's passionate emotions. When they parted they still held each other. Xion stared into Theo's arms expectantly and said only one word.

"Beautiful."


	20. My Summer of Love

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Twenty: My Summer of Love

For **AntivanArainaiHima**

_Her ghost was gone. When would she return? Would she ever return? Had she finally given up on their dream as Theo had? Was it really time for her to...?_

_Theo got to her feet and paced around the room, shaking her head. No. She couldn't let go of the dream. She was the creator of the dream. If she turned her back on it now she would be the biggest betrayer of all._

"_Theo?"_

_She turned round to find Aerith poking her head through the door with a concerned look on her face._

"_What's the matter? There was a noise coming from your room."_

"_Please. I don't want to...I wasn't trying anything. I swear. You can check the room if you want to."_

"_I'm sorry, Theo. I'm not the one to make those sort of choices. Besides, Dr Anselm wants to see you now."_

_Theo shook her head and stepped back. "Please. I won't. I won't make any more noise. I promise." She begged._

_She pressed her body against the wall and stared into Aerith's sad eyes. The longer she stared into the more she knew that there was nothing that could be done. She knew she was telling the truth when they were nothing she could do. Theo could see that. She knew that she had no more control over the situation than Theo. Now and the only thing she could resort to was begging. It was pathetic but that just showed how wretched her existence had become. It was futile because no matter how much she begged she knew they could do anything to her against her will and say it was for her own good, like she didn't know what was good for her. She was now no more than a child who needed to be petted or made decisions for because she no longer knew how to make those decisions or wasn't in the position to do so. However she still continued to beg because in truth it was all she could do. Despite being absolutely powerless the one thing you should never let go of are the things you can do, no matter how pathetic they may seem._

"_Theo please don't make this difficult..." She began._

"_Aerith. Please. I'll stay in here. I'll be quiet. I won't cause any trouble!" She cried._

_Two men came running in and took her by both her arms. She looked up to see if she could recognise them. There were only two men, well four really since there were shifts since she had been here who were the enforcers. They were both tall, muscular and had blue eyes. The only distinctive difference between the two was that one had blonde, spiky hair and the other had dark brown hair. She tried to look into their eyes, imploring her to leave her. That she had done nothing wrong. That there was nothing wrong with her. Theo struggled but the two men were much stronger than she was. She struggled as much as she could but it was pointless. She didn't sob but she could feel the tears of helplessness stream down her cheeks. There was no point resisting all the way. She continued to hear Aerith's soothing voice telling her that no one was going to harm her. That everything was going to be alright. That Dr Anselm just wanted to talk to her and nothing more. However in a place like this is was better to not just take the doctors or nurses word for it because eight times out of ten they were lying._

"_Good girl." Said the dark haired one. "There's no need to cause any trouble."_

"_I wasn't though." She muttered._

_The blonde haired one leaned his ear close to her mouth. "I'm sorry?" He asked politely._

_Theo regarded them with a suspicious eye, feeling that these two were much more polite than they should be. She could imagine that she could slip away without any problem but she then thought that this could be just them showing their nice side. She didn't want to provoke the bad side in them._

"_Nothing." She replied and turned away._

_They took her through the halls and corridors in the direction she recognised as the journey to Dr Anselm's office. She shivered when she came to the door and cast a desperate look in the direction of the blonde haired man. He touched her shoulder and gave her a reassuring look._

"_It's okay. He just wants to talk to you. That's all."_

"_Then why did I have to be escorted here?" She demanded through gritted teeth._

"_Please. Don't make this difficult." The other one said in a slightly harsher tone than before._

_The Blonde haired one nodded her to go into the room which she did so reluctantly. She sighed as she stepped through the doorway and went straight to the seat where she was always assigned. She walked slowly towards it like she was approaching the executioners block. Dr Anselm wasn't present in the room but she knew that the two men would probably be waiting outside in case she made a rush for it. She settled herself in the seat and sighed deeply as she sat down. She observed the room despite the fact that she had seen the interior over a dozen times already. The same plant in the corner. The same bookshelf. The same desk with the pen holder. The same door on the other side of the room Theo only presumed was where he was now. She began to shiver wondering what news was to come otherwise Dr Anselm wouldn't have called her so urgently. She knew her appointment was every Tuesday morning, Thursday afternoon and Saturday evening. That was her rota._

"_Theodora."_

_Dr Anselm came in from the door she had entered to her surprise. She blinked at the other door and thought that it must be a cupboard._

"_Have you been told why we were to have this discussion?"_

_She shook her head which he nodded at with approval. "I have been looking over your file and the results for your sessions and medical tests and I think I have found the root of the problem."_

"_That didn't take a psychologist to find out, Dr. I already knew the root of the problem." She snapped._

_He seemed unaffected by the tone of her voice and in fact leaned forward with interest to hear her answer._

"_It's because I want to be with her." She answered simply._

"_Be with who?"_

_She sank into her seat even further. She stared in his direction which such a look of fear that Anselm was convinced that this was the moment when they were going to make a breakthrough. They had gone backwards and forwards with Theo they didn't know what they were going to do. They had no idea where to start when it came to treating her. Some patients had been there for years but they had no idea how long they could've been housing Theo. Theo didn't know whether she wanted to take this conversation/session any further. She was afraid of what he might find out. She knew what they would do. They would stamp out the memory of her and convince Theo that it was time to move on and to forget what was left in the past. But how could she let that go when it was something she loved so fiercely and truly something she didn't want to let go of?_

~ (***) ~

"Finally we can have our picnic!" Marlie cried throwing his hands in the air. Reno reclaimed it once again and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He kissed his boyfriends jaw making his brother who was walking closely behind them recoil with disgust.

"Thank goodness Theo and Xion aren't nearly as repulse as you too when they're being affectionate." He commented.

Marlie craned his neck back and called in the direction of the new couple. "It's early days once they've got past the embarrassment and nervousness they'll be all over each other." He called.

This earned him a glare for Xion and a blush from Theo.

"God forbid." Axel muttered.

Xion took Theo's hand timidly and swung it back and forth as they walked down the hill. She shared a secret glanced of affection and Xion received a kiss on the cheek.

"See? Now that I can tolerate!" Axel cried.

"How much further now?" Namine moaned.

Larxene cast a dark look in her sisters direction after complaining for the tenth time. "We're. Almost. There." She replied.

Theo craned her neck back and shelter her eyes as she stared up at the cloudless sky. The sky was a deep blue which almost seemed purple and reminded her of the colour of bluebells. The sun was shining brightly and with such majestic brilliance that it was impossible to doubt that this was the perfect day for a picnic. She had been on many picnics and sometimes they had been disasters mainly because the weather was terrible one minute after being seemingly beautiful. She was secretly glad that they had postponed the picnic after so long. It had been planned for the first week in the summer and her being there not the fourth week. She found it surprising how quickly time had flown by. However this was obviously something which had to wait until the perfect day came along and the wait was worthwhile. Also she was glad that it had come at this point since she was able to enjoy it with the fact that she had someone special in her life to enjoy it with. She declined using the term 'girlfriend' considering the fact that it was early days. If two weeks was considered early days.

"What do you mean by almost there?" Namine moaned.

"I mean-"

"We're here." Xigar interrupted breaking up the argument between the two sisters.

Theo stepped through the trees and marvelled at landscape still holding Xion's hand. She felt like she was on top of the world when she was up here. Although when you were held in those moments you always felt so alone but the warm sensation in her hand made that experience all the more amazing because it assured her that she wasn't alone in this moment. She was sharing it with someone who she cared about more than anything and she didn't even know she existed until a few weeks ago making it all the more amazing. They had stepped onto a cliff edge which was wide and stable enough for all of them, which was ten or over if she bothered to count. The scene from the high point looked over a sea of tree tops and a mountain range in the distance which brought the forest into a tight embrace. The warm, summer breeze was able to freely dance in the air and brush against her skin. It made her feel like she had missed out on a big secret for all this time and was so happy to have finally been let in on it. When Theo looked over the landscape the words 'where Heaven touches the earth' came to her mind.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Xion whispered.

The tickle of Xion's breath on Theo's neck sent shivers across her body and caused her to smile with content. She nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. Did you find it?"

"When Larxene, Xigar and me were on a walk somewhere we got lost and by some chance we came across this. We were sat here for ages not caring that it was getting cold, getting dark or that we were still lost because it was too beautiful to care about those sort of things."

"I don't blame you."

Xion tucked a strand of hair which was blowing in the wind behind Theo's ear. This time she didn't blush but only giggled almost immaturely at her sudden act of affection but this didn't seem to both Xion.

Axel gazed at the new couple as he put the picnic basket down and scratched his head. Love was and is a funny thing. He wasn't completely against the idea of people falling in love, he even helped for this couple to get together, but he still found it a strange thing that no scientist or expert could ever really explain. Least of all himself, despite the charade he put on to make it seem as if he knew all about it. It was just sex he was knowledgeable about. Love could change people in drastic ways. Wondrous ways. Confusing ways. People who would normal be reserved and gloomy most of the time were suddenly bright and affectionate once they had someone to fill that empty hole of loneliness which had been hanging over their heads. Not meaning to sound clichéd but it was the truth. He wondered whether he would change so much if he met someone he loved.

"Guys, instead of being all lovey-dovey can you help set up the picnic blanket?" Axel called over to the two.

Xion sighed and they made their way over, still holding hands. It was when they took the blanket and laid it out on the flattest part of the cliff edge.

"Thank you." Axel thanked them dryly.

"You're welcome." Xion replied sitting down on the blanket and laying herself out. Theo stepped forward after taking off her shoes and laid down resting her head in the crook of her elbow. Xion smiled and wrapped an arm around her.

"This is great." She whispered.

Theo let her head rest her Xion's chin and melted into the earth and into her body. The sun's rays shone down on them making her feel as if she was in a warm bath on a cold, winter evening. She looked up for a moment and gazed into Xion's calm, peaceful face as she had her eyes closed. She looked like an angel. Theo resisted from stroking her face in case she disturbed the stillness of her expression. She just wanted to watch her in her moments of motionlessness. Everything seemed still and quiet for just a moment. The world seemed to just go silent where she was lying in the arms of Xion. The universe seemed so wide but also seemed to condense into a small little world where only they were in it for just a few seconds. In those few seconds Theo was happy. It was this moment when she realised that she had finally found the happiness which was missing.

"Hey, you two! Cut it out!"

Both Xion and Theo sat up thinking that Axel was addressing them until they saw Marlie and Reno sticking their tongues down each others throats.

Xion narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose. "Guys, thats a bit much for public affection don't

you think?"

"Quiet you. You're not one to talk." Reno replied when he ripped his mouth away from Marlie's for just a moment.

Xion frowned not knowing how any of Reno's reply could make sense. The most Xion and Theo did in public was hold hands, pecks on the cheeks and constant eye gazing. That was nowhere near to the excessive acts of public affection Reno and Marlie displayed which was. Also what could be considered as not quite what you would put into the category of what is acceptable to do with your partner in public seemed to be a concept those two didn't seem to grasp. What happened between Theo and Xion in private was way off the scale she could admit to that but they at least did it in private. However mostly it was because Theo was so shy which wasn't the least bit surprising nor could she blame her due to the fact she had never been in a relationship. Xion, other than the mysterious niece of a neighbour was the only one she had any skin to skin contact with. Xion knew how they felt and she was going to make sure Theo wasn't going to be made to feel the way she was when she was in her first relationship. One that didn't end well she might add.

Axel came over and perched himself beside them. "Don't listen to him. I would much rather accompany you to the movies than those two."

"Thank you, Axel." Xion replied appreciatively placing a hand on his knee. "We need to find you a suitable partner now."

Axel threw back his head and moaned. "Nooooo. I don't want to be pulled into these summer romances which seems to be spreading like a virus."

"May I remind you that you tried to help us both get together." Xion pointed out.

"Yes. I encouraged that that you two should get together but I discourage that you try to set me up with someone else."

"Hmm. I suppose there isn't anyone to suit your tastes around here anyway." Xion mused.

"Exactly." Axel purred taking a cup of lemonade from Larxene.

Axel drank all the lemonade in the cup in one gulp and placed it on the ground. Theo grinned at him and nestled her face in Xion's neck. Her hair smelled of vanilla and jasmine. Her natural scent reminded her of strawberries on a summer afternoon. She recalled the taste of her in her mouth from that morning in her room before they left and it still remained in hers, lingering as her affections for her always would.


	21. Summer Nights

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Twenty-One: Summer Nights

For **KeyofDestiny813**

_Theo looked away and tried to blink away the tears forming in her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling and after doing this for a few minutes she was able to answer him._

"_Just...Someone I knew."_

"_I doubt she meant as little to you as that." Dr Anselm almost laughed. "Was she a close friend?"_

"_She was my girlfriend." She admitted this out of anger at him laughing. She raised a cynical eyebrow. "Are you shocked? Repulsed?"_

"_Why would I be repulsed?"_

"_Because I'm a lesbian."_

_Dr Anselm crossed his legs and tilted his head to the side. His own son was a homosexual and in fact one of his ex-lovers actually worked at the institute. However whether he could call him a lover could be questionable considering how Xehanort treated Terra. Terra's father was a major business man who needed to secure a deal with Xehanort so decided to through in a little something into the deal or more tried to persuade him to agree by throwing in his son. He knew his son was gay and despised him for it so it more of an act of vengeance on him being the way he was as well as a business move. He also knew that Xehanort was gay so really he was playing to his tastes when other businessmen would've called up an escort service. He had been previously married out of convenience and shockingly produced a son out of it but once homosexuality was no longer such a crime to society he came out and divorced his wife. _

_Anselm still stayed in contact with Xemnas and his previous daughter in law, more so than his son in fact. It wasn't out of distaste at his homosexuality but because of his character. Something which reflected in the relationship he had with Terra who he only used to relieve him of his sexual rather than emotional needs since the poor boy was seventeen. However during this Xehanort had another lover at some point which Terra eventually found out about while doing his law degree. He confronted Xehanort about it who just laughed in his face and revealed that he never meant anything to him. Now alone in the world, he dropped out since it was Xehanort paying his fees and his father more or less abandoned him once the relationship began. He remembered Anselm and arrived on his doorstep. Anselm knew he couldn't let the boy fend for himself so gave him a job and sheltered him until he had enough to buy himself a place for himself. The job being at the institution and was presently outside the door waiting in case Theo made a run for it._

"_My son is gay and you would be surprised as to how many people here are also homosexuals so believe me that is something I have no issues with whatsoever."_

_She raised an eyebrow looking faintly surprised. "Really?"_

"_Yes."_

_She hesitated and almost looked more relaxed and perhaps content with talking with him more freely but like most patients Theo wasn't still sure as to whether she could trust him with her darkest secrets._

"_She died."_

_Dr Anselm nodded. He knew this. He knew which girl she was likely to be referring to. Of course this was all from her file and was what triggered her depression. When some people were only temporarily depressed and traumatised for a few years. Others like Theo took it to the next stage. The girl in question died in the most heinous of ways which was a result of today's culture amongst young people who saw people as disposable and themselves invincible. Dr Anselm who had never witnessed such a thing and thank goodness could only see the effects of such a violent act on all those involved but never knew how it actually felt on the inside. All he could do was help them with how they were going to make the next step forward. He could only feign empathy but never truly know how it felt to be in that situation._

_The young man who committed the murder discovered that he wasn't so invincible considering he had now been given a life sentence for his actions. A sentence he was sure Theo wasn't satisfied with. He knew when he told the news to her a week ago that she was not content with this and that he deserved to die. It was only natural for these emotions to come from someone who loved the person who had been murdered. However this was yet just another sign that Theo had no yet put the past behind her or even attempted making the first step in doing so. Even though it had only been a month or so by now Anselm was hoping that there could be some change in her development. An eye for an eye._

"_Do you want to talk about that?"_

_She gulped and shook her head. "I want to talk about the person who did it."_

"_Why?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know you tell me. I suppose it must be because it seems like the natural first step to me."_

_She remembered his face. It was full of malice and anger. He wanted to kill everyone there if he was going to get his way but Xion wasn't going to let him. She believed she was invincible and that she was a hero. She died a hero. Instead of being proud that her girlfriend died in such a way she pitied her because she knew that Xion didn't want to die a hero. She wanted to return home to her bed with Theo in her arms knowing she may have doing something good with her life and that she may continue to do so with the rest of her life. However the next time she would lay down finally would be in the ground with no one in her cold, dead arms except for a bouquet of her favourite flowers: violets._

"_What do you remember about him?"_

"_He was an ex-boyfriend of a girl staying in our house. I only met him twice and both those times I could see why people who knew him hated him and why she left him in the end. What I don't understand is why she stayed with him."_

_Dr Anselm said nothing. He just stared. After a while Theo saw this as a sign for her to continue._

"_I could see that there was no way that the violent nature was ever going to be erased and that it had become so much a part of him I don't think even you would be able to turn that around."_

_For the first time in a while Dr Anselm's expression broke into a smile. "Really? He was that violent?"_

"_Well there are some people who are too far down the rabbit hole." She replied._

_Anselm shrugged his shoulders. "This is true."_

"_The first night I met him..." _

_Her voice trailed off into the darkness of her past where she knew she was edging closer to the present. For many weeks she had been turned more in the direction of the past than the present or even her future. However now that it was edging closer and closer she knew she had to decide what frightened her the most._

~ (***) ~

The night reminded her of what Fitzgerald said about the parties at Gatsby's mansion. She remembered the little snippets from that chapter such as '_they came and went like moths_' and describing the beauty and seduction of the hedonistic nights under '_the champagne and stars_'. She never thought there could be anyone else who could describe celebrations under the night sky more beautifully and articulately than Fitzgerald. However instead of drinking champagne, Theo was drinking a glass of red wine which Xion had stolen from the wine cellar downstairs while the others were downstairs watched crony movies. So Xion and Theo took this as a chance to have some alone time which was difficult to have in such a crowded household. They had to take these moments as much as they could.

"How do you like the wine?"

Theo shrugged her shoulders as she took a sip. "I like red wine. Whatever red wine. Just as long as it's red wine I don't care." She whispered against Xion's smiling face and stole a kiss.

"I'm taking that as a yes." She giggled. "The guys want to go out tonight. To the bars in town."

"Oh yeah? I actually wanted to go to those when we were in town the other day."

"Yeah but the reason that we're going is to give Olette emotional support with the new beau she's currently 'sort-of' dating now. Personally I think it's too early for her to be dating anyone."

Theo grunted with agreement. "But I suppose it's alright with someone like him."

Xion tilted her head to the side and found that she had to agree with this. "He seems alright, miles better than Seifer which is the main thing. Just as long she's not relapsing its fine with me."

Hayner was the typical boy next door in Theo's opinion. Or for lack of a better label. Blonde hair, blue eyes, cute and atypical high school sweetheart good looks. Personality wise he was considerate, kind, loyal and always wanted to be there for their friends even if deep down they actually had another reason to but only applied to Olette. She could see why Olette found him so nice and if she was straight she would even date him. Although even if she as she wasn't sure if he would even be his type. Maybe he would be too cutesy. However since this wasn't exactly a problem she had to wrestle with she turned away from the subject. So in all to Theo he was harmless and if Olette was on the rebound or was finding what she really needed Theo saw no harm in it. But she could also see how it could be dangerous in starting to date at this stage. A woman needed a sufficient phase between each relationship to take a breather from dating. Otherwise she was going to crash and burn. Lesbian or not it applied to all women, including Olette. She couldn't speak on behalf of men but she had a feeling that this was a phase that wasn't essential for them in particular. She wasn't being harsh on them or anything this was merely from observation of male human behaviour.

"Still. I wish she would just try not to be with someone for more than thirty seconds you know?" Xion murmured, maybe more to herself rather than to Theo.

Theo smiled thinking her almost maternal concern for her friend was so adorable she climbed on top of her and took her face in hers and kissed her. Xion responded brushing her fingers down her waist to her thighs. Theo was about to deepen the kiss before they were interrupted.

"Er we finished watching the corny movies and we want to go out now." Axel announced with a waver in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah." Theo grunted huskily.

Xion gave her a devilish grin which Theo responded with a seductive growl which made her giggle. She jumped off the bed and pulled on the leather boots Namine gave her for tonight.

"Well I am not drinking that much tonight, considering we've already had a bit to drink." She chuckled.

The brown boots looked good against her tight black jeans and the grey blouse with lace and flowery design which she had to wear on top of a vest since it was see through. She wore a bracelet which Xion had given her from the small collection she brought with her and wanted to give something to her on the night they were first girlfriend and girlfriend. However yet again, she had an issue with using that term in a way since she didn't want to accidentally use the term out loud and scare the hell out of Xion. She turned to Xion for approval who looked her up and down and gave her a look as if to tell her that she more than approved by wriggling her eyebrows and gave her an air kiss. She gave her a slight grin and rolled her eyes. She saw now that there were a few things which came with the package of being someone's girlfriend that she had to get used to. She knew that was more than an _okay-you-have-my-approval-to-go-out-the-house-in-that_. She would've thought she'd have to put in more of an effort to impress her girlfriend with regards to turning her on but then again each to their own it seemed. After she was finished she made her way downstairs and waited with the others while those who took their time in getting ready were still upstairs. She flopped onto the couch with her legs hanging off the arm.

"So, Mrs Xion how are things?" Reno inquired.

"Huh? Yeah they're great. Fantastic, in fact. She's a really great kisser." She replied.

The men in the room chuckled at this remark and there were various 'good for you's' and 'thanks for the info'.

"Well we're glad you two have finally got out the fumbling, awkward stage of 'does she, doesn't she' and all that crap." Xigar commented.

Xion eventually emerged from the upstairs after about fifteen minutes but not that much could be

said for the rest of the girls in the house. She was glad that she had finally arrived considering that she felt almost alone in the midst of strangers when she wasn't took almost a full hour to get ready. When Axel didn't tell them they were going until they were ready escaped her. He knew Xion and Theo hardly took any time in getting ready. However she discovered it was less 'alone' time for them and he was able to make more comments about them. In other words so he could tease them a little bit more. Theo rolled her eyes at this reason and let the comments fly over her head since Xion was taking the role of being the defender of the relationship. She began to giggle with Xion almost began flying into a rage and calmed her down before she had the feeling that she was really was going to hurt Axel. Theo thought this may be difficult but she found that she had quite a calming effect on her girlfriend. Once the last girl, which was Namine surprise, surprise, stepped onto the ground floor everyone rushed out the door and made their way down the lane. They thought it would be much more fun to walk there rather than drive. Theo didn't care. She wanted to be under the stars tonight, hand in hand with Xion. She felt that she now truly was in a novel by Fitzgerald minus the cocktail dresses, champagne and gloomy ending. Or so she hoped.

"Beautiful." Xion commented after turning her eyes from the stars and gave Theo a quick kiss on the lips.

Beautiful. It was Xion's favourite word, it seemed to Theo. It came to her as a surprise and she thought that she would come up with a more original word to say more frequently but there was a wonderful simplicity in Xion choosing this word. It was almost like she was saying that there was no more words which were required or no more eloquent or extravagant to say how much she loved her and the world. She didn't need to find another word to describe how she felt when she was happy because that was enough.

"Hayner?"

Xion and Theo looked away from one another and saw a boy with a bloodied nose, a cut lip and a bruised eye running up to them. Olette ran to him and took his face in her hands. She quickly embraced him.

"Hayner what happened?" Xigar demanded in a concerned voice.

"Looks like we're going nowhere tonight." Xion muttered.

Hayner was so far away that Theo was only able to catch one word. Seifer. This was the name of Olette's ex. Even the name sounded harsh and brutal as the man who bore it. Xion gripped her hand tightly and turned her back to the house. She wrapped an arm around Theo as she felt her shiver but it wasn't that it was cold but it was because she was afraid. The stars were suddenly ablaze but others began to dim as if all the light in the world was beginning to go out. She wanted to believe that soon things were going to be alright but she still had this self-doubt hanging over her head. The foreboding message in the stars told her of something was coming. Something that would be asdestructive as a tidal wave.


	22. Summer's End

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Chapter Twenty-Two: Summer's End

For **DecemberxAngel**

"_So really you only ever met him once?"_

_Theo looked away knowing she was caught out. There were some things in the story she cut out or made up which she tried to do but evidently to no avail. Some things she changed were important, others weren't. She supposed she only did this because some stories were sometimes best left not to be told._

_She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah. I suppose so."_

"_But you told me that you only met him twice. Not just the one time."_

_Theo took in a deep breath. She knew she had met him twice, but for now she was going to lie. She didn't want to be telling him too much..._

"_I suppose it felt like I had seen him more than once. Even more than twice after seeing the results of his violence twice over before witnessing it myself. He was so destructive it spread over the house long before he actually came."_

"_What do you mean? Do you see him somewhere else?"_

_Theo closed her eyes and shivered a little. Dr Anselm noticed that. "I see him...In my dreams...Sometimes."_

"_Does he talk to you?"_

_She nodded. "Yes. But I always forget." She lied._

_Dr Anselm crossed his legs and gave her an analytical look. "So...Do you want to talk about that night?" Theo sighed. No. Certainly not. "Do you want to carry on talking about him?"_

"_Why did you ask me to come here tonight? This isn't part of my rota and it just doesn't make sense that I have to be here just to talk."_

_She was a smart girl. He had some conversations where her intelligence was able to shine through the things she said to him. He knew that she had a shining in front of her but there was something which set it off course. There was something which changed her overview of life and turned the original perception on its head. It was something that she wasn't telling him. She was smarter than this. Or so it seemed. She was given drugs on a regular basis and for some people it dulled their senses and their perception of the things going on around them. This didn't seem to be the case with Theo. Sometimes there were different effects that people suffered from but this made Dr Anselm all the more suspicious. Maybe it was the ineffectiveness of the drugs assigned to her which made the process they expected her to be making stopped. Or maybe she found a way to trick the nurses into thinking that she had taken them. He couldn't understand why he didn't notice this until now. Then again, like he said, Theo was a smart girl. Dr Anselm decided to discuss with the Head nurse about changing her prescription. He made a note of it on his clipboard and calmly turned back to Theo who had a proud smirk on her face._

"_Theodora."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I think its time you were honest with me. I think we both know that now. First of all did the girl who died...was she truly your lover?"_

_The question made Theo shake slightly. "Yes." She replied through gritted teeth._

_How could he ask her this? Surely he knew this was the reason why she was here. He had read the report. He knew what happened. It didn't take a therapist with a PHD to figure out the reason why she had reacted the way that she did to this situation. She was upset. Heart-broken. She felt like she had been cheated on by fate. It gave her a wonderful thing and then it took it away again. What was that supposed to teach her about life? That you could enjoy life but only for a short while? Good things never lasted? What was the lesson she was supposed to be learning here? Did he think that she was merely unstable and that she was making this up? Or did he think that it wasn't a good enough reason to give up on everything? Perhaps if he knew about the other thing...About the second time he met Seifer. She didn't know why she told the police about that. She didn't want anyone about that. Maybe it was because the interview happened shortly after that. She didn't report it. She didn't see the point. That she was here just for attention. If she wanted that she would have never have brought things this far. She would've never tried to kill herself. Or was he thinking that she was delusional? There was something remotely delusional about her actions. She glared back at him as if to say that she had no intention of co-operating if the questions were going to be like this._

"_How long had you known her?"_

"_A few weeks."_

"_A few weeks can mean anything to different people." He shrugged his shoulders. "Come on. Four weeks or more?"_

"_More."_

"_Two months?"_

" _About that time."_

"_How sexual was your relationship?"_

_Her eyes shot up and stared at him for a while. She shook her head. "I don't think that's any of your business."_

"_Everything that is discussed in this room remains and will always remain confidential, Theo. You can trust me."_

"_Is that what you tell all of your patients? You tell them that little white lie so that you can weasal out all those secrets of theirs? Hm?"_

"_Theo, it's important that I know this."_

"_Well excuse me for being paranoid but I'm still trying to decide whether you're just being a pervert."_

_Dr Anselm sighed and half threw, half placed the clipboard on the desk and rubbed his eyes. _

_"Theodora I only ask these questions because I need to have a clear idea of what happened of what caused you to come here."_

"_What caused me to come here? I thought I was brought here regardless of what I wanted." She replied._

"_Well you made the choices which led you to coming here. So I need to ask you these things so we know what may have truly caused this."_

_She shifted from side to side in her seat and stared him straight in the eye. "Fine. What do you want to know?"_

"_Lets start simple. Tell me how the day began."_

"_Which day are you talking about?" She asked blankly._

_Dr Anselm tilted his head to the side. "I think you know which one I'm referring to, Theodora. I think you're just trying to avoid the question but I want you to think about something. I want you to ask yourself whether you really want to die. Are you really ready to make that last goodbye?"_

_Theo bit her lip and looked down. That was a reasonable question for him to propose to her. And he was right to ask it as well. Was she really ready to make that last goodbye?_

~ (***) ~

That day came a few days after Hayner was running up the hill. When Theo looked back on that day it almost seemed like an age between the night which foretold the end and when the prophecy was carried out, but it also seemed as fast as a speeding train. It came too soon, it was too unexpected and its consequences were destructive. For some reason no one left the house after that day. It was almost as if everyone was afraid of venturing outside in case Seifer was there waiting for any of them and would pounce upon his prey. What was once a haven had now become a prison not because of those inside the house but of those outside of it. Some nights Theo would go to her window and look out to see if she could find anyone hiding in the darkness only to find the darkness staring back at her. There was nothing to be afraid of. Or so she thought. To her it was amazing where imagination could take you.

Everyone was much fearful than her only because they displayed it whereas she remained calm and un-bothered to the eye of the rest of the household. However in private she was terrified. She didn't know it at the time but whenever she looked back in foresight she was actually terrified. No one even went out to the woods any more because they were afraid that he could be lingering in there waiting for an unsuspecting resident to threaten. She could see that Olette at times was even considering going back to him in order to end the fear the people were under. However what she didn't know was that their fear would escalate if she did this. There was no way anyone was going to allow her to go back to him.

"Fear is an amazing thing." She murmured to herself at some point when Xion was in the room.

"Love is a strange thing, but fear is an amazing thing."

Her voice was so low and quiet it sounded more like she was inhaling or the whisper of the wind. Xion frowned at these words her girlfriend never intended for her to hear. She knew because of the quietness of her voice but also because of how frightening her words were. What could be so amazing about such a self-destructive, undesirable emotion? When Xion, quite ironically, too pleasure in the simplistic, Theo seemed to dwell on the complex. It wasn't that it should be the other way round, in fact they both should have been fascinated by the complex however Theo seemed to take it another step. Theo never explained this to her. Not even on their last walk. Not in the few days they had left before all came to an end. They were just words hovering between them both, hanging in the air, unexplained and a mysterious gap between them which would never be filled.

Theo said this because love could never be as destructive as fear was. Fear could cause so many things to happen to the body and was a result of so many things. Fear came in many forms. What she didn't realise that fear and love were both strange and amazing things. She only came to realise this till after her love was going and had become ash like the fires which could burn those in love if those involved were brave enough to be so passionate. Fear was the same way. You could burn from the dangers of fear and soon you could be completely obliterated. The one question she asked herself was why couldn't she figure this out before she died.

~ (***) ~

_Dr Anselm gave an exasperated sigh. "Theodora. Is this relevant at all to the day which we are referring."_

"_But this is important." She assured him._

"_Why?"_

"_You have to understand. You want to understand. You want to know every detail it would seem and I am giving you this detail you so desire." She explained. "Everything else before that day is not important but this is."_

_Dr Anselm cleared his throat and looked back at her patiently. "Why?"_

_Theo looked away and stared at the wall. She needed a moment when she felt like she was no longer in the world or no longer a part of it. For so long she had these feelings but they were beginning to slip away from her grasp. She no longer had any faith in them any more. If she stared at the wall for long enough her mind may go blank. Things would be clearer. She would be able to understand the thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories which were lingering in her mind but not all of them were the answer he was looking for. It was so hard to look back and try to pull out the answers when there were so many other things surrounding it. So many things which were important but not relevant to what needed to be answered right this second. She could see the urgency in his eyes for her to answer his question and she was finally beginning to understand why he needed an answer. Why was this so important? Because he wanted to save her life of course. Why did he need to know? So he could find the answer to her problem in order to give her a solution which she sought for to ease the pain. So that he could heal her? What cure could there be from a broken heart? What is the remedy for the emptiness which a person feels after losing something which you had for so little time but meant so much to you? How can you cure that?_

"_Everything is important but yet it is irrelevant. You wanted to hear my story and so here it is. I loved a girl but she was taken from me because...No that's too soon."_

_He nodded. He could see she was finally beginning to prioritise her thoughts. This was a good sign._

"_Alright. That day began like any day. The sun rose. It shone brightly. When I look back I think it shone so brightly because it knew the light was about to go out and maybe it thought it better to shine as brightly as it could for the short time it had left."_

"_You make it sound almost like it should be in a book." He commented._

_She smiled to herself. "She always told me I sounded like a poet."_

_A lost poet. All those endless numbers of poets who were always writing about love and heart -break could actually understand how she felt despite the fact that they were all dead so it wasn't like she could contact them or talk about it to them one day. That was the problem, there was no one in here who would be able to understand what happened to her. None of them would be able to see from her side of the story. They would just see a hysterical girl who made a big deal out of nothing. She was nothing but like one of those dead poets who would never publish a word that conveyed her feelings upon this event in her life. That was what she was. She had an idea. That was all people had at her age, Hell some people twice her age were unable to figure themselves out or knew they never would be able to figure themselves out. She had a story but she had only a few words to contribute to the odd page but everything else was blank. There was no beginning, no end because she didn't know when these points actually occurred. She wasn't sure when they precise beginning was and she had a feeling that the end hadn't come yet. That was the main problem._

_When was the end?_

"_Except it wasn't an ordinary day. Was it?"_

~ (***) ~

On that day Theo was able to convince Xion to go out for a walk in the woods. She decided that the longer she stayed in the house the more the fear would increase. If they stepped out into the house for a few minutes at least they would both know there was nothing to fear. Once they faced their demons they would realise that there nothing to stop them from doing what they wanted. They could carry on as they were. That Seifer didn't have to control everyone in the house just because he was violent. He was their jailer and they were his prisoners even though some of them had never laid eyes on them before. He was an invisible fear which was something which could be a threat but there was also a chance that it wasn't going to harm them. Theo still wrestled with whether there was really any reason to fear him. Once you stepped into the minefield and walked through it carefully but without any fear you would step out the other end alive and unharmed. Theo was still hesitant and unsure whether they should take such a risk. The police had been informed but they were still on the lookout for him but they didn't seem that bothered at all by the whole situation which was the most infuriating thing.

"See?" She pointed out as they walked through the wood hand in hand. "No one in sight."

Xion shrugged her shoulders with an uncertain look on her face. Theo cleared her throat for the words she was about to say and what had been lingering in her thoughts for some time now.

"Xion? Would you call us girlfriend and girlfriend? It's just I want to know what this is and I don't want to scare its just I'm not used to this and its all very new and confusing for me. I don't want to scare you at all and you don't have to answer."

"Theo I'm scared of a lot more things than that question right now." She assured her.

Xion wasn't going to lie she had thought about this and the thought of finally finding that answer scared her. She didn't want to label anything too soon because the moment you did that was when you finally found something that meant enough to you for you to hold onto. She wasn't afraid of commitment and she certainly didn't want to hurt Theo but they were putting a lot at risk considering the points in their lives they were both at. This was Theo's first relationship and this was Xion's first relationship since she had her heart broken. Xion had to be careful about when she gave her heart away but also about taking it gently and guiding Theo through this. She looked back at her before she was about to answer and saw that she was trying to prepare herself for the worst but she still had that hopeful look that everything was going to be alright. That they were going to be happy and always be together but Theo had a lot to learn. They would be eternally lucky if things turned out this way. There was only one in a million chance that things turned out this way.

~ (***) ~

"_And that was the moment when we heard the scream." Theo said._

"_When you ran back to the house and saw that Seifer was there and when this all happened?" Theo nodded silently._

_When it all happened. It was simple and to the point. It was what it was, but it was too broad a statement. What happened that evening was a huge part of her and who she was now. It triggered the path which led her here to her confession._

"_So what did she tell you? Before you heard the scream did she say something or...You never went into detail about this part."_

_Theo sank into her seat. "She said something. She said that there was nothing to worry about. She just said the word which we shared that told me that she loved me. That was it."_

~ (***) ~

Then came the scream. That explosive sound which set everything in motion. It cut through the wind like a knife flying through the air hitting them so violently they could do nothing but react. They were unable to simply stand still, petrified with fear but suddenly burst into a run in the direction from which it came before they realised they were even doing so. It wasn't the night when she saw Hayner running up the hill it was the scream coming from the woods which began the whole chain of events. They were the closest to where they could possibly be and ran in the midst of the wilderness trying to find them. They knew who it was. They knew what it was which caused it and even though deep down Theo would run in the other direction Xion didn't and she wasn't ready to abandon her to whatever lied beyond the trees which hid the act which was about to be committed. Theo was scratched on her legs and knees as she had done when she was running through the woods a few weeks earlier from the disappointment and short-lived sadness she experienced with the one she now was running after. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and finally she realised the fear which she had been experiencing all these past few days because she realised that that fear was real.

~ (***) ~

"_What happened then?" Dr Anselm asked solemnly._

~ (***) ~

Theo closed her eyes, replaying the events of that evening when twilight fell across them like a fisherman throwing a net over some unexpected, helpless fish. They were mice running straight into the mouth of a cat. Theo's heart was beating in her chest but she knew there was nothing she could do to stop Xion. She had a goal and she was going to carry it out she just didn't know that it would come at a price. Even though she didn't know what was going to happen but Theo had a feeling that something bad was looming ahead. That the fairy tale happy ending was rapidly fading away as it had done for the past few days. Theo didn't understand why she didn't see that coming now that she looked back on it all. How did she not know that was what was going to happen. They were approaching a dangerous situation with a violent individual of course someone was going to get hurt. She might even get hurt but she still followed her when she couldn't run back to the house to get more help. But she didn't. She didn't think. She couldn't. All that was rational and reasonable was far from her mind.

~ (***) ~

"_What happened then Theo?"_

_Theo raised her eyebrow and blinked at the doctor. "You know what happened after that, doctor."_

"_Yes but I want to hear it in your own words."_

"_Why? Is that important?"_

"_Yes it is."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because it is only then you will be able to confront what has happened to you."_

_She shook her head. "It happened to Xion not to me. I'm the one who's still here."_

"_Then maybe it's why you're still here. So that you can tell the truth of what happened."_

"_I already handed in the statement and few things I lied about yes but the outcome would still be the same if I told the truth."_

"_Then why did you lie?"_

_Theo shrugged her shoulders. "Because I could."_

~ (***) ~

Theo ran through the forest hoping that she could get there in time. She needed to be there. She knew that if she was there nothing could touch Xion. She wasn't strong or assertive in these kind of situations but she knew that just as long as she was by her side nothing could touch neither of them. She wanted to believe that. She had to because she knew that was the only way she was going to be able to carry on running. But she knew it was too late. She saw it when she looked up at he stars every night that something was coming. She didn't believe in anything that astrology said about the future but there was something else about the Heavens which told her that there was something coming. The night sky had been so dark lately, like a dark cloud looming over an unsuspecting crowd excepting the sun to shine down on them. However it was she who saw this coming. She knew though if she cried out the terrible prophecy she would be like Cassandra screaming that the sky was falling but no one would look up but glance suspiciously every now and then.

Xion was faster than her this time. She was running like the wind blew through the mountains or across the sky. Each moment she got further and further away from Theo. She reached out as if to catch her but she was too far away. She began to struggle to keep up with her. Her legs began to hurt and she thought she might collapse but she kept on going. She had to keep on running. At some point she was gone. She had disappeared in the forest and that was when Theo was truly alone. She kept running in the same direction and the sounds and raised voices got louder and louder. She ran through the bushes and trees as swiftly as a fish swimming through water but she still couldn't see her. She could hear Xion's voice and Olette's. There were two other voices. Male voices. One she recognised to be Hayner's and another she didn't know. She knew this had to be Seifer there was no one else who it could've belonged to. Fear made Theo trip over roots and get stuck in the thorns. She couldn't breath. She didn't know where she was going any more. She brushed the branches and leaves out of the way in desperation and cast her eyes in all directions. She must've been pretty determined to get as far away as possible from Xion when she ran through the forest as swiftly as she did now. She was more determined to find Xion than she was to get away from her that other time though.

She had to hold her in her arms and make sure that she was okay. She couldn't bare the thought that anything should happen to her. Then there was a gunshot. The sound was more sudden and sharp than the scream. Instead of slicing through the air it blasted it apart. Everything went silent after that. She wasn't ever sure she could hear the sound of her breathing. Everything went still as all movement came to a standstill. She felt her heart thudding in her chest, her wrist, her thighs everywhere. She almost felt herself shivering but there was no cold wind. She thought she was sweating but it wasn't the least bit hot. Her thoughts were rushing at a thousand miles an hour yet there wasn't a single thought in her head. She broke into a run once again but this time she shot through the brambles and trees. Nothing could stop her now from getting to Xion. She knew a gunshot could only mean one thing and she had to get to her.

~ (***) ~

"_Wait. You said in the account that you were there. That you were present when it happened. Or you at least saw from a distance the gunshot being fired at her."_

_Theo smiled grimly. "I lied. Or maybe I didn't. I'm not quite sure yet. Sometimes I think that I saw _

_the gun being shot that was how strong the connection between me and her became."_

"_Even though the relationship only lasted a few weeks."_

"_Yes." She answered simply._

_Dr Anselm sat back in his chair and sighed. "So you did reach her eventually."_

"_Yes."_

~ (***) ~

"Xion!"

Theo sobbed. She ran towards her lover as she drenched in her own pool of blood. There was a wound in her neck were blood was pouring out like a river which had broken through a dam.

"Xion!"

~ (***) ~

"_She died in my arms. There was nothing I could do. Hayner had already ran to get help. I tried to put pressure on the wound. Nothing. She died before the others reached us."_

~ (***) ~

Theo cradled her in her arms long after she was gone, like a mother would hold her newborn child just after it was brought into the world. Instead of tears of happiness and relief Theo shed silent tears of remorse and regret. Death was not a quick, clean and easy process. It was dirty, brutal and cruel even if the person was old and died in their sleep. She was plastered all over with Xion's blood. When the others arrived they saw her and looked at her as if she was a ghost. She stared back thinking that she was a ghost. It was on her face, her arms, her neck. It was like she had cleansed herself for Xion's farewell into the next world. She longed to go with her but she still remained. Why did she have to remain with this? Why did she have to carry the burden of staying behind? Xion was always more stronger than she was no matter how many times she told her that this wasn't true. Her face was paler than it was before. It didn't look peaceful. Those who wrote in books that said the dead looked like they were peaceful were lying. They looked silent. They looked dead. They looked like they had nothing more to say than they're last parting words. What were Xion's parting words. She mumbled and whispered in her last breaths that Theo wasn't able to hear or understand. She leaned forward to hear but this didn't help at all. She was gone.

~ (***) ~

"_And that's it."_

"_That's the end of the story?" He asked, unconvinced._

"_Well obviously not. All the stuff in the report about my attempts at suicide are true. So there's no need to quiz me on that." She replied with a smile._

_"There is one thing, Doc."_

"_Hm?"_

_She thought for a moment she might tell him about the second time she met Seifer but she thought it would be better if she would leave it. Not now...Soon...But not now..._

"_You never told me why you called me here?"_

_Dr Anselm laughed weakly. "Someone told me that you needed to...you need to talk. It was time for you to talk."_

_Theo looked away. She didn't need to ask who._


	23. Last of the Golden Summers

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts

A/N: Hey there! Well here's the final chapter I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I was to thank not only all of you reading for the support but also to **AkuRoku-SoRiku-love**and**XenvraeXIII **for alerting this story. I am planning to do a sequel called **Autumn Leaves **so basically all the stories are going to take a sort of seasonal title and will cover a whole year. I'm pretty sure Theo is going to stick around as the main character however I'm still wondering whether to turn to other characters to have a main focus in the next stories so it would be great to hear feedback on that, so anyway without further ado here is the final chapter and thanks again and I hope to see you soon. Bye!

Chapter Twenty Three: Last of the Golden Summers

For **talkstoangels77**

_She knew how the story ended. There was no fairy tale ending for a story which took place in the real world. Girl met girl. Girl fell for girl. Girl fell in love with girl. Girl lost the girl. Typical right? Not that it was her fault that she died. The person responsible was eventually caught and tried. Theo remembered the sentence. It didn't carry out the justice she thought was sufficient. But she had never seen him with her own eyes so it eased the hatred she had towards him. She still lost the girl she loved. Only this time it was death that took her. He snatched her away from her in the cruellest way possible. It was not just because of the nature of her death which made it cruel it was also the fact that Theo was left behind. Left alone to fend for herself with no one to turn to or understand her situation. She had someone she thought she could love forever and now that seemed no more than a dream. Not another girl or guy. In a funny sort of way she would've preferred that. She would've at least want her to be alive and in the world rather than out of it._

_She went to the funeral and met Xion's parents and her older brother Zach. At first she kept her distance and thought it best that she didn't talk to them but at some point Axel took her arm and introduced them to her. She didn't know why he did this but he had a stern expression on his face as if to say that he disapproved of her behaviour towards them so far. She gave him a hard stare as he walked away and left her with them. Zach looked a lot like her. The same dark, spikey hair. The same bright blue eyes which pulled you in. The same kind, smiling face no matter what he was going through. He could almost be her twin. They were all nice but she had a feeling that the mother was a little uneasy about her daughter's homosexuality. She glanced at her from time to time with the thought crossing her mind as to whether she had an intimate relationship with her daughter. She almost looked at her as if she was the one who corrupted and tempted her. Theo tried hard to resist a glare in her direction. However her father and brother seemed alright with it. They seemed more appreciative of the fact that she was going through as much pain as they were. The mother on the other hand was not so forgiving. She tried to make out that she was the one who had her die in her arms. _

_Theo shook with fury and despair as she watched her make public displays of anguish. She was probably glad to be rid of her daughter. At one point the brother took her to the side and asked her about her relationship with his sister. She was hesitant at first but she remembered from the small amount of time that she conversed with him that he actually stated that he was alright with his sisters homosexuality. Zach and his father made a funny story out of Zach being the first that she told. So this more or less assured her that the two siblings were rather close. Something which Theo didn't really know that much about as she was an only child. She found herself envying him for a moment because of this. She would've liked to have had a brother or sister to confide in and tell them of her troubles. So she decided to do the one thing she couldn't do with anyone else: she told him the truth. She knew that there as no way of getting around it. He at least deserved that. She told him all she could bare to tell him at the time._

_There were still some things she had to hold back. He nodded and understood. She still felt guilt from not telling him everything about their relationship. She almost felt like she was lying to him after he was being so considerate and nice to her. She just wasn't ready to share that with anyone yet. He had a feeling that Theo had a strong relationship with her from what the others had told him one the phone calls throughout the summer and prior to the funeral. She smiled and wondered what the others had blabbed about. There was a smirk on his face when he talked about Axel telling him about 'some girl' being her. She had a strong feeling that later she would have to ask what exactly Axel had told him. This was the one moment in a while when she actually felt happy. But it was only brief. The others were all there. She found it almost insensitive referring to them like that. The others, but like her they almost seemed like ghosts. The ghosts which carried the memory of the one who had now passed. Their silence and solemn manner made them seem like they were the ghosts passing by rather than passing by in a ghost town. Instead of being dressed in white, smiling under the summer sunshine, they were dressed in black, tears streaming down their faces under the summer shade. Everything had passed now. Those days were over. It was the last of the golden summers. _

_They would only be ghosts now haunting and remembering the past. She didn't know how long it would take for the others to drift back to the present but she would always remain rooted in the past. It was the only place she knew she could be with Xion. The summer was beginning to fade now. It was coming to an end and there was no stopping it. The light had gone with Xion. The happiness had faded with it and only sorrow remained. She sounded like she should be in a Greek tragedy but this was real. This was not melodrama or immature feelings. This was the truth. No one was going to return to that house. It was stained. Marked by the horrific act of violence associated with it. No one would ever want to return there. Larxene told her that they had put it up for sale. She knew there was nothing left there now. It wasn't a childhood home so there was no real attachment to it. All that was left there was the memory of that who they had lost. They would remember that last summer with fondness but also they would look back on it with sadness as well._

_Theo didn't know whether she would ever be truly leaving it. The act of bloodshed had tainted it and it would never be the same again. Theo would always remember the blood staining her hands. She was haunted in her dreams the blood which remained on her skin. She could almost smell the blood now. Every time she thought about it she could feel it dripping on her skin. She would wake up screaming and sweating with her parents rushing to her side. There was no way they were able to comfort her back into an easy slumber. It was always better to remain awake. It would always be a graveyard, an empty building. There was no going back. You either remained or walked out and never returned. Once a place where people were happy and now only the memories and echoes of ghost remained in its halls. The memories echoed in her dreams and her voice echoed in her nightmares. She never left her. She wanted to keep her promise. After hearing of the death in the woods people were already making up the tale of it being haunted. Not even after the girl who apparently haunted the woods was buried the ground. What they didn't know that there were some who were still haunted by her death. They didn't to be in a specific place to be haunted by the ghost._

_After that she stopped contact altogether. She didn't speak to any of her friends from the summer. She seldom came out of her bedroom. She no longer too pleasure in the writing that she so craved and relished like a beggar loved bread and water. The world became a dark, grey place where she could find no solace. There was no longer any need to stay here. There was no reason to stay here. There was no one worth as much as Xion to stay in the world of the living. She didn't know why people wasted their lives here. Also Xion didn't want her to be there. She knew even though people would think she was acting crazy. But she knew. She had seen her. She had seen the look in her eyes and knew what it was asking of her. Some times she would come to her at night beckoning her to come where she was now. She was just as lonely as she was. She wanted her to come to the other side but Theo knew the only way and it frightened her. Maybe that was what was holding her back all this time. Maybe the real reason was because the thought of dying actually scared her and she really wasn't ready to spend eternity with her dead girlfriend._

_She remembered the first time she tried to kill herself. It seemed natural. She took all the pills she could find in the house and swallowed them. Even if they were meds. It was selfish but who cared? However her father walked on her when he came earlier than she thought and rushed her to the ER._

_He was so quiet as she lied in the bed after they pumped her stomach of the pills and eventually he spoke._

"_Look...I know you don't think you're not going to get through this but you are."_

"_How do you know?" She asked coldly._

_She used to be so close to her Dad and now she felt worlds away from him. He didn't understand no one would._

"_Because I know these things, Sweetie." He finally replied. "Believe it or not I have had a broken heart before."_

"_Did she die on you?" She demanded._

"_No. But I have been on this earth longer than you so I might know a little bit more about love and life than you do. Okay?"_

_She rolled to the side and looked away from him. Her mother rushed in half an hour later. She was absolutely hysterical. She was demanding why she did it. When she finally gave her a chance to speak she simply replied._

"_Because I wanted to die. I want to die."_

_Her mother's face fell and she drew back into the chair. She crumpled up into a heap and sobbed. Her father went over and rubbed her back for a while. She told her everything was going to be okay. That everything was going to be alright. Theo had a feeling he was saying this to her too but it fell on deaf ears._

_That wasn't the first time she tried. The second time she tried to drown herself when she drove out to the nearby coast. She jumped off a bridge but was still conscious when she hit the water. Also a fisherman saw her and swam out to get her. She struggled but he was stronger._

_He brought her onto the boat and demanded what happened. Did she fall? Or was this on purpose? All she said was that she as sorry and asked to be taken to shore. She spied a picture of a girl the same age as her with red hair and a dazzling smile and guessed this was her daughter._

_When that failed she took a different approach. She took a razor from the bathroom and cut down not across her arms. It was a miracle that she survived that. Her parents also knew that they couldn't take this any more._

"_Theo we're sorry we have to do this."_

"_Okay."_

"_You need help."_

"_Alright."_

"_We're going to send you somewhere where they're going to make you all better. To make you happy again."_

"_Right."_

"_We love you."_

"_Fine."_

"_Remember that."_

_Then there was another drive to a far and distant land. Only this time it looked like a prison rather than a haven. There were men in white clothes rather than beautiful young people which almost seemed like angels. As she was walked to the building by an escort she began to feel afraid. This was the place where they were going to take the memory of Xion away from her. They were going to make her feel like she never existed by telling her that the memory of her didn't matter enough for her to take her own life._

_She couldn't let that happen. She began to struggle but it was to no avail. There was no help for it. She was staying..._

_Now weeks after she was looking out the window on the beautiful view of hill at sunrise. She was thinking a lot now._

_She was thinking about her future rather than her past. She was thinking what it would be like to have a future._

"_Hey."_

"_Hello Roxas."_

"_How are you?"_

_Theo turned round and gave him a look. "I received a request to talk to Dr Anselm last night. He told me that 'someone' thought I needed someone to talk to. Don't worry I'm not angry."_

"_Good. Because I was doing it with good intentions."_

"_I confessed all."_

"_Really?"_

_Theo looked down and answered truthfully. "I did actually. Except he didn't tell me how I felt now."_

"_And how do you feel now?"_

_Theo shook her head and began to sob. "I feel stuck. I don't know what to do now. I mean...Jesus!"_

_Roxas sighed and made no sign he was going to make any movement to hug her. "I'm sorry."_

"_No don't. I mean yes you should. I was fine before."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes. Fucking, really. I knew what I wanted and now I don't."_

"_Welcome to the rest of the world. Now why are you really upset?"_

_She was about to say something before she spied Xion standing on the other end of the corridor._

_She was smiling._

_She didn't look like she was going to say anything. In fact she held up her hand and waved._

_A sob escaped from Theo's throat telling her this was the end. This was really the end. She was going to turn back now onto a path she didn't know or how to beginning. Whether it would be a step, a leap or what._

_She fell to the floor and began to sob like a little child. She thought it was her imagination but Roxas actually had his arms around her now._

"_Do you really want to know?"_

_He nodded. "I think it would help."_

"_Because it's so hard to say goodbye."_


End file.
